The Perfect Woman

[Scott]

... complements my strengths and can pinpoint my weaknesses.
... knows how to accept a challenge - and how to propose one.
... is open-minded enough to listen and to trust, but skeptical enough to keep a degree of good sense.
... understands my interests and beliefs but also upholds her own.
... has just the right sense of adventure vs. alone time, sense of humor vs. deep intellect.
... knows that beauty comes from within, but that she still can't get away with not taking care of her body.
... never follows the crowd (unless the crowd is actually right for once.)
... embraces change when it is helpful or necessary, but doesn't try to be "unique" without any direction.
... holds impeccable moral standards - and follows them.
... never loses her temper, even when I do.
... understands that nobody is "perfect," but that she is perfect for me - and I for her.



This is a very personal blog post I wrote a few months back which for some reason I just felt like sharing. Any thoughts (from men or women)?

[Dating Specialist]

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

Love means to see an imperfect person with the perfect angle.

Perfection lies in being imperfect!

[Colm OReilly]

I like it, I think it's vital to have standards of what you want from your partners, instead of just sticking to the first person who sexaully validates you.

2 things if I may?
1) You can bring these traits out in people through "Intention Maps". There's a mail on it by my friend Sebastian. I can email you the mail if you'd like? Basically if you tell someone there's some trait that's complimentary they'll try to live up to that trait. A great example is a friend of ours, who we call the stylish one of the group. He's always late as he spends more time on his hair and clothes than we do because we called him stylish!

2) It's great if you write down what you'll bring to your perfect women, what will you give her and how will you enrich her life that no one else can? Knowing this will increase your confidence and sense of self worth. It will also increase the chances of the relationship surviving since you'll be closer to bringing equal value . A relatioship without equal value will fall apart.

I admire your bravery in posting that, very open and honest
Colm

[songwriter]

The perfect woman should be one that has the more virtues and the less faults. So, the one that gives you more good things and less bad things...
Is that love?....
And... if she is so "perfect", don't you think you'll think you're not "as perfect" as she and you will not be interested or will be uncomfortable...

[Lotus]

Rather than detailing a list of what's "perfect" ... I find it better to accept people as they come to me. It's much easier for me to redefine "perfect" than to try to fit anyone into my pre-conceived mold of a partner.

Food for thought...

[Lonewolf]

Beauty is in the eye of the Beer - Holder!

[elainevdw]

Originally Posted by Scott

... never loses her temper, even when I do.

Okay, that's a little bit too much to expect, don't you think?

[Scott]

Originally Posted by elainevdw

Okay, that's a little bit too much to expect, don't you think?

Haha, someone else mentioned that in my original entry. The way I see it, there's a difference between "losing your temper" and "getting angry" - it's a matter of degree. Everyone gets a little miffed once in awhile, but I know plenty of women who have never lost their temper (at least that I've seen).

Originally Posted by Lotus

Rather than detailing a list of what's "perfect" ... I find it better to accept people as they come to me. It's much easier for me to redefine "perfect" than to try to fit anyone into my pre-conceived mold of a partner.

I agree with you; that's why I'm open to changes in this list. Seriously though, I've found that if I'm not careful, I become attracted to women who don't necessarily have long-term potential. Flings aren't really my thing.

Originally Posted by songwriter

And... if she is so "perfect", don't you think you'll think you're not "as perfect" as she and you will not be interested or will be uncomfortable...

Actually, a part of me hopes that she is "more perfect" than I am (in some aspects) so that she can help me grow in those areas; similarly, I will strive to be as "perfect" as possible in my strong areas so that I can help her grow. This is where that first item comes in - complement my strengths and pinpoint my weaknesses.

Originally Posted by Colm OReilly

1) You can bring these traits out in people through "Intention Maps". There's a mail on it by my friend Sebastian. I can email you the mail if you'd like?

Sure, that'd be great. E-mail, PM, whatever is most convenient for you.

Originally Posted by Colm OReilly

2) It's great if you write down what you'll bring to your perfect women, what will you give her and how will you enrich her life that no one else can?

See my response to songwriter. I believe that, ideally, we would complement each others' strengths and be able to pinpoint our weaknesses so we can grow in those areas together.

Originally Posted by Dating Specialist

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

Love means to see an imperfect person with the perfect angle.

Perfection lies in being imperfect!

True, true, and true. This is my definition of perfection - yours may be entirely different.



Thanks for all of your comments; they're very insightful.

[elainevdw]

Originally Posted by Scott

Haha, someone else mentioned that in my original entry. The way I see it, there's a difference between "losing your temper" and "getting angry" - it's a matter of degree. Everyone gets a little miffed once in awhile, but I know plenty of women who have never lost their temper (at least that I've seen).

That's a good point. I was thinking about this since I posted, and perhaps another way to think of it is someone whose temper doesn't control them. It's very difficult to control one's emotions, especially if you're still a little immature, or go haywire during PMS. However, as one grows as a person, you would hope that they would make it a point to work on their weaknesses, temper included. I know I do.

[Blaine Moore]

The perfect woman (for me) is my wife. Since we are both deleriously happy around one another I assume that we both made out well. The trick will be making sure it lasts...

[songwriter]

No-one is perfect anyway because being perfectionist is a fault. lol...

[Scott H Young]

... can only be found by becoming the perfect man.

[Phil Newton]

Originally Posted by Scott H Young

... can only be found by becoming the perfect man.

My sentiments exactly. Lead by example, and the rest will follow. I didn't have a list of requirements or expectations when I met my girlfriend, and if I had she would have exceeded them all. If I could choose one quality that really makes a difference, it's that she inspires me to become a better man.

[Radical]

Originally Posted by Scott H Young

... can only be found by becoming the perfect man.

The perfect partner is someone you don't need to be perfect for, someone who loves your imperfections.

[Erock]

Wow, I don't know about a perfect woman. It's weird, a lot of my guy friends get crushes on certain girls for months and months at a time. For me, it's totally different. I absolutely fall in love with a girl, and 15 minutes later I will absolutely fall in love with another girl. They are all so perfect....

[Dating Specialist]

Originally Posted by Scott

Actually, a part of me hopes that she is "more perfect" than I am (in some aspects) so that she can help me grow in those areas; similarly, I will strive to be as "perfect" as possible in my strong areas so that I can help her grow. This is where that first item comes in - complement my strengths and pinpoint my weaknesses.

Yeah Scott, can actually sense your definition stems from this longing to somehow along the way be that perfect person too.

I mean, it's a vision you have for this perfect woman, so subconsciously it could be a reflection of the vision you have for yourself eventually. Agree?

Originally Posted by Erock

Wow, I don't know about a perfect woman. It's weird, a lot of my guy friends get crushes on certain girls for months and months at a time. For me, it's totally different. I absolutely fall in love with a girl, and 15 minutes later I will absolutely fall in love with another girl. They are all so perfect....

Hey Erock, that's when the difference of "being in love" and really to love someone kicks in

[Erock]

I don't know. I'm only 17. Maybe someday I'll find out.

[Eggzachery]

Listening to someone talk about "The Perfect Mate" is always amusing. When women do it, they're usually joking with their friends. When men do it, they're usually waxing poetic, laying out a laundry list of expectations.

Sadly, most people don't seem to understand that it's not about finding the right person, it's about becoming the right person. Why? Because even if you do find the "perfect woman," if you haven't been working to improve yourself, she'll just see another slob who doesn't stand a chance.

[Alvin]

Originally Posted by Scott

... complements my strengths and can pinpoint my weaknesses.
... knows how to accept a challenge - and how to propose one.
... is open-minded enough to listen and to trust, but skeptical enough to keep a degree of good sense.
... understands my interests and beliefs but also upholds her own.
... has just the right sense of adventure vs. alone time, sense of humor vs. deep intellect.
... knows that beauty comes from within, but that she still can't get away with not taking care of her body.
... never follows the crowd (unless the crowd is actually right for once.)
... embraces change when it is helpful or necessary, but doesn't try to be "unique" without any direction.
... holds impeccable moral standards - and follows them.
... never loses her temper, even when I do.
... understands that nobody is "perfect," but that she is perfect for me - and I for her.



This is a very personal blog post I wrote a few months back which for some reason I just felt like sharing. Any thoughts (from men or women)?

An interesting question to this would be something I learnt from Tony Robbins; so what kind of man would you need to become for your perfect woman to fall head over heels for you?

It's a great PD technique to help you grow too.

[Scott]

Originally Posted by Eggzachery

Listening to someone talk about "The Perfect Mate" is always amusing. When women do it, they're usually joking with their friends. When men do it, they're usually waxing poetic, laying out a laundry list of expectations.

Sadly, most people don't seem to understand that it's not about finding the right person, it's about becoming the right person. Why? Because even if you do find the "perfect woman," if you haven't been working to improve yourself, she'll just see another slob who doesn't stand a chance.

Eggzachery, I've already given my response to this concern:

Originally Posted by Scott

Actually, a part of me hopes that she is "more perfect" than I am (in some aspects) so that she can help me grow in those areas; similarly, I will strive to be as "perfect" as possible in my strong areas so that I can help her grow. This is where that first item comes in - complement my strengths and pinpoint my weaknesses.

I am well aware that a relationship is a two-way street and have already stated several times that I am looking for a woman who will be able to form a relationship in which we grow together. The word "perfect" is subjective - perfect for me, not for the world.

[Jill]

Sorry, Scott. I'm already taken.

[Trina]

Originally Posted by Jill

Sorry, Scott. I'm already taken.

LMAO! I came to this thread to say the SAME THING!! You beat me to it!!

[ABlix]

how about love as a tree and hug like a bird but never ever take a snake of its record to peal its amuse to the oil of the piglet in the tao of pooh must we share an internet future to the lagoon of a book i think we need to get off our butts and do nothing

[ABlix]

Originally Posted by Jill

Sorry, Scott. I'm already taken.

But are you taken by a child or an adult?

[Love]

I like it. I think it's a good vision. And I know there are women out there like this. Good luck attracting her, Scott.

[Jill]

Originally Posted by ABlix

But are you taken by a child or an adult?

Both. Husband of 23 years and 3 kids aged 13, 18, 19.