|09-20-2007, 12:48 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2007
"Obsessing" over a girl
(this has nothing to do with my previous thread, though i imagine going through a history of my posts will reveal that i experience a lot of social anxiety)
There is a girl i really like, who no longer lives in the same town as me, since im at university. And i dont know what to do about it. In some ways i think i just need to hear from someone else what may be the inevitable answer, and i also kinda feel like i need to fully define the situation somewhere. anyway, the story goes:
There is a girl i met about a month before leaving for university. and after knowing them for about a week, it was quite clear (to me) that i liked this girl a lot. But i knew i could not do anything about it really because i was going to university. Still, whenever i was hanging out with her, i would almost always be enjoying it, in spite of what we were doing.
When i left for university, I was pretty sure i would be able to get over it, and after 2 weeks i thought i was, but when i went back home i went out to see a movie with her(and some mutual friends), and it was all back to the same as before i left, enjoyed a terrible movie, sang along to a ridiculous song, good times, and now she is back stuck in my head. I notice myself just smiling randomly when talking to her on MSN, and i did the closest thing to asking her out (as friends) that i have ever done in my life.
Now i just dont know what to do...I could only really see her every weekend at the most...and im also somewhat intimidated by the fact that she seems to be more sociable than i am. but...i just like her so much.
|09-20-2007, 03:55 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Where I am is where I'm at
Sounds like things are going very well between you and her. What I'd suggest is that you continue seeing her as often as you want to and see where things lead. You're enjoying the time you spend with her, so don't worry too much about putting a label on it and whether she can become your girlfriend or not. It may be that you aren't able to see her regularly enough to make this into a romantic or physical relationship, but so long as you're having fun that's so much less important. If you decide that you want to date someone that's closer to home, she can still be a good friend and someone you enjoy chatting with.
Also, don't worry too much about whether you're social enough. That's only going to take away from the fun you're already having. Clearly you're already doing a great job! One thing I've learned is that when you accept others for who they are, they will almost always accept you as well even if you have a few quirks She may even find it charming. Keep your attention on what's going on and the people around you and let things flow naturally.
|09-20-2007, 01:09 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: San Francisco, CA
I say try to progress with the relationship and see where it takes you. Try not to focus on the barriers that you see.
In almost any life endevor you are going to find barriers that can convince you not to do it. The trick is to ignore them and try anyway, chances are you will find solutions, but even if you don't, it is still better to have tried.
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