Where to Live?

[Phi]

Where to Live?

What factors did you consider when you choose where to live?

My wife and I are from totally different countries (Asia and Denmark). Currently we live in Denmark, but I must confess that we find it totally boring here. Things were a lot more fun when we lived in Asia.

We choose to live in Denmark because of my family. My parents would be quite sad if we didn’t live here, since I have no siblings. I’m therefore the only person who can supply them with grandchildren (one and counting). My wife has lots of siblings that live right next to her parents.

It would be great to move back to Asia, but how can we do that in relation to my family?

And what else should we think about? Jobs, etc. are no problem since we have lots of possibilities in both countries.

[Akashic_Librarian]

I am still livin gwith my parents so i can't really say I have made a choice as such. But I would like to live in America one day, for a time with society, but as I get a family I want to move away to somewhere more reclusive, away from violence and just raise my children in a happy, enviroment.

P.S/

I remember Steve mentioning he wants to start a "Light-worker" Foundation. I think I would joing that if it ever starts. I am a very devoted light-worker...I am actually gonig to do a post about an experience I had today. I will edit a link into this post when i have done it!

[Love]

Would it be possible for your family to move with you to Asia? It's possible that they could learn to like it for the same reasons you do.
Personally, I think, that your parents got to live to their present age as they wished. Shouldn't you be allowed to do the same?

[Dating Specialist]

Well, since your parents still have each other, so if you're really toying with this idea of moving back to Asia, wouldn't it be now then later?

And if they are much older, maybe you could then consider moving back to Denmark? Of course, I guess explaining to them is the hardest thing to do.

Love's suggestion is very good too! So you could take some videos when you're in Asia and show them your life there.

Hope you'll get out of this dilemna soon and lead the life you want, though I can understand how at times we can't have the cake and eat it too.

All the best Phi!

P.S But hey, I thought the concept of parents wanting to stay with their children is an Asian thing?

[Phi]

Thanks for your replies. Both of you have some good points that I haven't thought of myself.

My parents are no longer together, but they both have a lot of friends so maybe that makes up for it?

Parents wanting to stay with their children is not only an Asian thing, but I guess I'm more aware of it after living several years in Asia.

Moving back to Denmark later on will probably be difficult. My wife loves her native country (and so do I) and probably wants to stay there forever. In addition, our children will probably continue to live in Asia and then we surely don't want to leave.

Please continue to add your thoughts. We can really use your inputs for this difficult decision.

[Michelle]

I think it is time for your parents to let you go live your own lives. They are not entitled to grandchildren, or to you rearranging your lives to please them. This is an unfair expectation. Life your life, or you will regret it.

I moved to Switzerland from the US for my studies originally, but cannot imagine ever going back to the States. Switzerland is safe, beautiful, central, wealthy. I have health insurance, people are reasonable and calm, and I can do my job at a very high level. Love it, love it, love it.

[Erki]

Michelle, what language do you speak in Switzerland?

[Michelle]

Well, I am American so my native language is english. Switzerland has four national languages - german, french, italian, and romantsch (similar to latin). The greater majority speak german, with french following behind. Most information (in trains, signs, etc) is given in at least two when not 4 languages. Most people here speak english, too.

I speak fluent German. That comes from living here for 7 years, and my studies. In spring I will move to a town where French is more predominant, so I am looking forward to improving in that area, too.

[Phi]

Originally Posted by Michelle

I think it is time for your parents to let you go live your own lives. They are not entitled to grandchildren, or to you rearranging your lives to please them. This is an unfair expectation. Life your life, or you will regret it.

They certainly don't force us to stay here. It's us who are worried about how they would feel. We don't want to make them sad, but they have never, ever demanded that we stay here.

[SenorKaffee]

They had a life before they had children - I think they will get around when you leave. Just make sure to send them lots of cheesy videos of their grandchildren.

[Michelle]

Originally Posted by Phi

They certainly don't force us to stay here. It's us who are worried about how they would feel. We don't want to make them sad, but they have never, ever demanded that we stay here.

Just be careful. Sadness can also be a way of manipulating someone. I am not saying they are doing this, just that it is a possibility.

[Blaine Moore]

I have never lived outside of the United States, but I moved to Maine because it was near family and I knew that more of my family would be moving up this way over the years following my coming here.

Two of my uncles were already up here, as was my aunt. My mother and my godmother both moved up here a year or two after I did. My brother has moved up here for the past year, but probably will leave again within the next year.

My other brother, my sister, and their families are only a few hours away in Connecticut.

I met my wife here, but her parents and grandparents are up here and her sister is only a few hours away in Massachussetts.

So obviously, the big thing for me was family. That, and I really like Maine and managed to find a fulfilling job up here.