Social anxiety question

[Joe826]

I find that when I'm in a situation where there is a bunch of people with their attention and praise directly on me, I begin to get anxious and logically, can't see any reason why their attention should be on me. Like, what makes me more worthy of the attention than them?

Is there an answer to this question or is it the wrong question to begin with? I seem stuck with it.

Thanks

[Velvet]

Originally Posted by Joe826

Like, what makes me more worthy of the attention than them?

Nothing--but it makes them feel good to praise you. Let them have that pleasure, and know that we'll all get a turn to be in that position.

Praise and blame--don't take either too personally.

[Love]

I agree with Velvet--people feel good when they're praising someone else. That's how I learned to accept it. Before, I would always say something to negate that praise--and then I understood that what people wanted most was not for me to be modest, but to accept the praise they had freely given.

[DeathStorm]

Deserve or not deserve... who knows?

But sometimes the praise simply reflects the mere truth about you.

Think about a person you hold in high esteem, or maybe someone you'd constantly address as "Oh, boy! You're so cool!" and really mean it.

He's got your attention, so, even from your point of view, he "deserves" your attention, right?

[m18pak]

Think really hard to yourself:

"You are not real. You are in my mind. You don't exist. You are not real. etc etc..."

This works. Trust me.

[Christian223]

Hi Joe, you should try EFT on that belief, that you dont deserve attention, try the link at my sig, i had a similar problem that yours and EFT helped me to get rid of it, good luck.

[jkmuller]

I honestly think this a matter of experience. The more often you have the experience of people directing their attention at you, the more comfortable you will get. Eventually, you might even come to enjoy it. It might take awhile to get to that point for some people.

Your question of why someone should pay attention to you seems strange. There are many reasons, good bad and neutral, why someone would give you their attention. It seems to be not a question of your worth, but rather what has brought you into their attention.

[vir_maha]

I think praise changes from time to time, for example you did some good and get a praise for that and the same time you did some bad and you would simply deprieved from it.

[4Mind4Life]

I have some suggestions: I recommend dosing up fish oil (the stuff literally cured my anxiety) and has helped me think positively, do some neurofeedback in the alpha range (maybe 10 hz), and consciously make a promise to yourself to think positive no matter what.

All this means is that you have some anxiety........whoopity D dew. It can be overcome, I have ZERO doubt about that!

Good luck!

[Jim11]

When people praise you just say a simple THANK YOU and leave it at that. Try not to analyze it.

Keep in mind that many people enjoy giving praise and WANT you to just accept it.

Praise: "You did a great job with that project. you're really smart"

response option 1:
"oh, it was nothing... anyone could have done the same. It's just because I've already done that kind of work, etc"

response option 2:
"THANK YOU."

choose the latter.

[Jennihul]

I still get a little freaked if I am explaining something or talking about something and everyone in the room suddenly puts their attention on me. There is also an exchange of energy from person to person and you may be feeling some of the judgements people always make, even unconsciously.

Everyone says to try toastmasters as it will help you get used to the strangeness of it. It's probably totally unrelated to any issues of "deserving" or not deserving.

Jennifer