Best "projects" to lose virginity for a 22 year old virgin

[Healfdeane]

In a way, I see this as the first car scenario. The man wants his first car to be... say... a Bugatti Veyron. However your budget is more on the level of a used Audi (still nice but nothing like a Veyron). So, you have to decide if you want to wait a while and work hard to get something approaching a Veyron (sorry, you're just not going to get an actual Veyron...not without considerable money) or go to a used dealership and find that Audi (and I don't mean a nice A or R series I mean like a 4000/5000 series).

Another angle, if you don't like the alcohol route, is money. Lot's of it. I'm not talking about paying for sex, but if you have a nice money clip with several hundreds and you are willing to spend them for 5 star restaurants, hotels, movie theaters, etc., you will most likely find someone willing to go along for the ride. After all, as most economics professors will tell you "There's no such thing as a free lunch." How many very wealthy people can have sex almost on command simply because they are wealthy? They are not soliciting sex acts for money from prostitutes, but they are as you say "getting laid".

Now as irresponsible as this advise has been, I feel I should give a disclaimer: (and I know I'm going to be very unpopular with this notion) trying to "get laid" just to tick something off a list is a bit shortsighted. I believe many of todays social and emotional problems have at least one root in this sort of behavior. So, work on your life, find your ONE "life partner", (I hate using that term) and then "lay" that person until you're old enough for things to stop working.

[Truefire]

Originally Posted by Scorpio

Check out www.datinggroundwork . com. There are some good articles there specifically for inexperienced guys. Not scammy or anything.

Great site right there. Incidentally, it is written by the same guy who created Succeed Socially/How to be cooler, another site that is key for beginners, I think. He gives a pretty good run-down of the pros and cons of the "community" too. Thanks for the link.

[Jon Tweddle]

Hi HipHipHooray

The most important thing is not to put too much pressure on yourself. But you have atleast got to make an effort to put yourself in the position where you will meet new people, "if you dont buy the ticket, you'll not win the lottery" or something like that.
Try taking up a sport like a martial arts, I did kick boxing for a few years and it was great for meeting new people, and loads of girls do it aswell. Infact I met my first girlfriend through it. This will also help towards your goal of losing some weight and it will make you feel great about yourself, and really build up your confidence. Most classes these days are designed towards fitness and not getting seven bells of ♥♥♥♥♥ kicked out of you! Also I found alot of girls like the idea of you been able to handle yourself, I think it makes them feel more secure (I hope this isn't sounding too sexist, I'm just speaking from experience).
And don't expect the first time to be with a supermodel! This very rarely happens. But the more you do it= the more confidence you will get=the more chance you will have of chatting up a great looking woman.
Good luck
Jon

[songwriter]

mmm... well there's the old way... knowing some guy that has a girlfriend or a female friend and maybe not her because she is engaged but a friend of your friends' friend... etc. And creating a meeting a night out with the people you know and the new one.
That could happen to me soon.

[DoubleBarrel]

There's also Dating Advice: Men's Dating Magazine

Great stuff there!

[The Cloud]

Why is losing your virginity such a high priority? It sounds like a very arbitrary goal to me. It's not going to give you more self-esteem or make you happier, so what's the point? Just for the sake of new experience? Undoubtedly it will change you in some way, but that way may just be to realize how stupid you were for being so hung up on it in the first place. I simply see this as an attempt for you to prove to the world that you are acceptable, which I believe is utterly pointless since the only place you can truly find confidence is belief in yourself rather than the belief of others.

By the way, I'm 22 and have never even kissed a girl. Not because I've tried to avoid it, but because I have never found an opportunity to do so in a way that would be meaningful. I'm a bit overweight, but nothing that would justify my exception to the norm, and I'm fairly muscular and not ugly. It used to bother me a whole lot that, despite no obvious shortcomings I had never had a girl really like me, but now I've realized that it isn't that important and that it will happen when it happens and not before.

[Spartan]

I agree with The Cloud. You seriously need to get your priorities sorted. How is getting laid going to make any difference in your life? How is it going to solve any of the problems you have? It will likely just make you feel used, cheap and even more depressed. Plus if you do find a girl you really like in the future, don't you think you will regret losing your virginity to some drunken tart?

This may sound harsh, but it sounds to me like your life sucks. In fact you should be clinically depressed, and if you aren't then there must be something wrong with you!? No wonder all you can think about is getting laid! You need to sort your life out - one step at a time. It won't be easy, but it will get easier with each step you take. Start by getting a job, or at least do some voluntary work to give you experience in social situations. Also, I would recommend joining a local gym; try to exercise as much as you can. Exercise has many benefits - mental and physical (since they are really the same thing).

[jshine2]

I don't think that being overweight is a problem. You might want to get clothes that present your best features.

If you have social phobia, consider where you do the best already and capitalize on it. I realized that I'm pretty sloppy at approaching strangers who are standing up or walking, but I'm really good at sitting at tables where the women i like are seated, and engaging them in conversation, getting numbers and moving the girl I like from the group to quiet parts of the room. Since all I care about is meeting women to date, I completely eliminated approaching standing/walking female strangers from my repertoire.

A lot of the dating advice I read likes to set up a bunch of false dichotomies. ("Either you're a nice guy who finishes last or you're a jerk who gets laid"). Don't be swayed by this kind of advice. When you notice a sticking point in your game, open up solutions in as many possibilities as you can, and try the ones you like the most in the field.

I took and still take a strategic approach to changing my life in this area. I write down hypothetical pick up situations in my wordprocessor, and edit them until I like them. Then I go out into the field and make them happen.

[forynav]

wow lot of judgements in the last couple or so posts.

I used to be pretty darn frustrated when I couldn't get some and even though I had a healthy social circle and great family, I still felt a little empty.

Ever consider that this person is feeling that way?

Sex is important. In fact, most problems of this world would go away if ppl got laid regularly.

[mattpd]

Great goal!

Sex is important like eating and drinking.

I think something happens to your brain if you go more than 3 months or where you just don't think straight. Its not healthy.

Good luck man, get out there and do some volume, thats it meet more women, and get more social.

Sex is healthy, and fun and enjoyable, and its good for you.

Not much in the world as fun as sex, and its free, and when you are doing it with someone you really like its even better.

Early 20s there is nothing wrong with being a virgin, thats pretty normal so don't beat yourself up, and dont give yourself bad labels like having social phobia, thats unhelpful.

Matt