My Dad died

[MmeIntentional]

I found out last night that my dad had died last week Wednesday from a heart attack. The funny thing is that he had cancer but I knew that he was not going to die from that for some bizzare reason.

I won't be able to attend the funeral but never intended to go as it's in another country ... never kept in contact with me much and cut me of more or less from April....Anyways I can 't say that 'm upset of anything, He was not the best dad to put it nicely. I've been trought soooo much crap over the last 5 months not knowing if he was a live or dead.

I this may sound selfish but I am totally relieved that he had passed as it was the not knowing that was worse and was killing me inside.

It's still early days and I my just be feeling numb but I didn't have this feeling when my mother died, so I know I'll be just fine. The only problem now is that his family bros, sisters will be alreadt fighting about money

Aso all in all I don't see his death as a bad thing but he is still my dad at the end of day. Oddly I feel at peace

[ellie]

Yeah I understand where you are coming from. I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you feel.

Sometimes, you just don't have to give your emotion up to those who don't deserve it.

Only thing I will say, is that I am sorry that you didn't have a great relationship with your father, must of been hard for you.

[MmeIntentional]

Originally Posted by ellie

Yeah I understand where you are coming from. I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you feel.

Sometimes, you just don't have to give your emotion up to those who don't deserve it.

Only thing I will say, is that I am sorry that you didn't have a great relationship with your father, must of been hard for you.

Thanks Ellie

The strange thing is I did have a very good relationship with him dispite the sexual abuse when I was a child, he was a heavy drinker...the dysfunked family thing, him calling the police to put me on the streets while I was having a nervous breakdown 7 years ago. Also finding out taht I got only half of what money my bother and sister got. I have totally forgiven him and told him that. He was so gald to hear this from me but you know I still would say that my dad is a c***. That's why I'm not bothered but still manage to shead the odd tear

Some people say that I'm crazy but I can tell you what hate does I
Infact I feel that I have already morned the death of him many years ago. So I feel the worst is over apart him his family ... I have a bro and sis but my sis cut my dad of last year as he was using his cancer to play silly games and my bro doesn't want to know.