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09-08-2007, 02:58 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5
 |  I need some advice...or motivation
I will get right to it. I am an eighteen year old freshman at college. I have been going out with a girl for almost two years now. She is two years younger than me. The entire time we have gone out I have felt like there was something missing. I feel like I am not in love with her. I care about her and all but I do not feel like the ultimate connection is there. I wish it were though because she would do anything for me and I do not want to hurt her. She always talks about how I am all that she has...and that seeing me is all she looks forward to. Our maturity level is very different but I always tell myself things will get better...and I do that with every other problem in our relationship. We do not fight...but we do not talk that much...which is my fault for the most part because I do not call her enough. I do not want to hurt her...but I do not want to let it keep going on knowing that im not happy...I just need some options...but I doubt there is an easy way around this.
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09-08-2007, 03:29 AM
| #2 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
You don't love that girl...and you are not happy with her... however, right now you are leading her on thinking that there is a future in that relationship... so, you are not doing her a service... You will have to find it in your heart to set her free so that she can start looking elsewhere for what she needs and deserves... It will not be easy to do... but sooner or later, it will have to be done... so, may as well do it now... The very best of luck to you... . | |
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09-08-2007, 03:51 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 5
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I want her to be happy and I have thought about what you said before. I do not want to lead her on...I just wish that I could love her...but she does deserve more than I can give her...its going to be hard...but its best for both of us.
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09-09-2007, 04:22 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 37
| Man, I've been there
When I graduated I was in a relationship that lasted 5 years. All along the way I questioned whether or not this was right for me. She also claimed that I was all she had so the thought of leaving would be a hit on my concious. The truth is the longer you wait, the worse it is going to be. If she is two years younger than you that will give her about two years of high school left but if you wait until she graduates, you've added to her pain by robbing her of her of the opportunity of expierencing a normal high school life. The one thing that I concluded is that at 18, I should've been in a serious relationship. The best thing to do is to be honest with yourself and really understand what you want. Then understand what you need to do in order to get what you want. If being in a relationship is hurting your progress than you know what you need to do. Do it and be prepared to live with your decision.
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09-09-2007, 05:00 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 312
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A question: will she be happy knowing that you dont love her, even when you stay with her?... what will happen when years go by and you tell her "i never loved you, i just didnt want to hurt your feelings"?. Its a tough situation, one that i allways feared and tried to avoid, thats why i want to wait for that girl that is all i dreamed, ill accept no less than that, so that i can truly say to her "i have allways loved you", thats what she would want, i would be simply honest to her. Hurting yourself is not that bad, hurting someone who loves you, thats scary. |
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09-11-2007, 11:29 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,016
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Honesty is good clear language........... you know how you feel and you need to comunicate this with her......... it is not fair to her or yourself not to it is deceitful to carry on in a relationship , where you know that your feelings are not the same as what she may think , that is why you need to clear that up |
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