Neighbor :(

[Chet]

I recently moved to a new apartment and I have this crazy neighbor - literally - crazy!
She tries the door to my place at least 50 times a day, if I goof up and don't lock it she just walks in. She does not knock.
Now mostly she just wants to give me something ... candy,cookie,fruit - and won't take no thanks for an answer. She also seems to have a problem about what day it is ... she always asks if its the 1st or the 4th or whatever day - so far she has not been wrong with the day - don't know how she could be, she keeps a big calendar with the days carefully marked off.
Anyway the 'try the door' thing is driving me nuts. Everytime I hear the door I jump a bit, and of course I just know one of these days I'll forget to lock it and I'll be in the shower or something
Any ideas?

Edit: She added a new trick, when I answer door to let in friend she pushes in behind them

[Brutha]

Film the sequence the next time. Afterwards tell her that you will put it on youtube to embarase her if she doesn't stop.

[Chet]

Cute, but I doubt she has any idea what youtube is.

[Matthew Shea]

If she's truly mentally ill, which sounds like it's the case, you're going to have to think way outside the box. Appealing to an emotion would probably be the most effective thing. If she's afraid of spiders, put some fake ones on the front door. Sounds mean, I know, but what's worse, scaring her a little or having a mentally ill woman show up unannounced in your bathroom while you're in there showering? Besides, you get the idea. Make the place uninviting for her. Possibly get a door handle that automatically locks whenever the door is closed (don't ever forget your key, though).

[Erki]

Have a little conversation with her. Ask why does she do it. Ask her not to do it again.

[Chet]

Sigh. Mental illness is correct for sure. Talking won't help, she can't remember my name from one day to the next. I suppose changing the lock might help my own peace a bit, but I have never seen an auto lock here. Guess I got some shopping to do.
Fears, ya. If I knew of one I would certainly try it, even if it does sound mean.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I found this, but since it doesn't list prices I fear it's probably expensive. Don't know if they ship to your location either?

[artic123]

How about informing your landlord and also calling Social Services so she can be evaluated.

Good luck

s

[Chet]

Ah well thanks but I am not living in the US. Social Services doesn't exist here and thanks for looking about the locks but shipping would take forever, maybe I get lucky at a local hardware store.

btw since this is not the US, I should say that chance are pretty high that she owns her place (apartments are owned here).

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Ah, I was pretty sure I remembered you were not in the US, but I would wager someone at a hardware store would be able to point you in the right direction. Good luck. I can imagine how frustrating this is. For now, just train yourself to lock your door the moment you get inside. I have to do that in my home anyway because I live in a rather shady area.

[Matthew Shea]

At my work, there are several doors that open freely from the inside, but require a key on the outside at all times. I imagine it shouldn't be terribly difficult to find such a thing. Perhaps a locksmith or a place that sells commercial locks would be helpful.

Regarding the mental illness issue, if she's living alone, a stranger would be very hard pressed anywhere in the world to have anything done. Say you were able to get someone to evaluate her and they diagnosed her and prescribed a medication to help her deal with the problem. Then she returns home and, like nearly all mentally ill people with no one to force them do, immediately stops taking the medicine and you're back to square one. It's a losing battle. Much better to adapt and deal with it and be as kind as possible when interacting with her. Besides, it won't last forever.

[Chet]

Don't know what my landlord will say about me changing the locks but I'll give it a try. (doesn't do much for the following other visitors in )

I am told she has a husband, but I have never seen or heard anybody else coming/going from there.

Anyway its almost getting funny ... when I go out/ come in I make a rush to:

a) get out - lock door - get down a flight of stairs before she hears me
b) unlock door get in fast and relock - before she hears me

like a thief in my own place

Now if I am creating this reality I think I need a sanity check!

[joelyle]

Give her chores to do...vacuum, wash the dishes, mop, etc.

[Lola]

How old is she?

[Enlightenment]

This, too, is happening to me. Except not to the same extent. You need your privacy so I suggest talking to your landlord about this person. In the meantime, put a note on your door, saying, 'Do not enter, or I will contact the police' That's pretty straight forward, I'd say.

[Brutha]

If she asks what day it is, don't answer her. Simply throw her out.

[Chet]

I coated the door handle with jelly. Cleaned it off a couple hours later. That stopped it for about a day.

My bf went and jerked open the door while she was at it to startle her, told her to stop etc.
He said she looked like she was going to cry ... but she was back at it in an hour.

sigh

[Old Soul]

have you talked withe owner /landlord of the complex?

I would do this, get a run down of her "mental" health, find out what you are dealing with first.... perhaps you can work with her illness, so you can nuetralise the situation... instead of agrivate it..... if she is childlike and you certain things to keep her away, in her mind this might be interpreted as fun and game ... so it is best to find out her mental disabilities first

[Chet]

There is no owner/landord sort of thing here - its more like condos people own the apartments. So, there isn't anyone really to talk to ... maybe if I ever saw the mysterious husband I have been told exists but have never seen or heard.
I tried all the 'be nice' stuff first.

[Ree]

As a last resort you may consider calling law enforcement. What she's doing is actually trespassing. That might trigger an evaluation of her mental status, or maybe at least get her husband's attention. I personally would hate for it to come to that, but ...... if that was my only choice, I think I would do it to regain my privacy and my peace of mind. She's a problem, but she's not really YOUR problem.

[Chet]

Yes, that would certainly be a last resort for me. Among other things I think the police here would find it amusing.
People tend to settle things for themselves, police are almost never called.

Actually my next option it hire a couple of really big guys to stand behind me and look tough and go calling on her.