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View Poll Results: What do you consider yourself?
Gay 11 12.36%
Lesbian 3 3.37%
Bi (female) 3 3.37%
Bi (male) 4 4.49%
Straight 60 67.42%
Not sure 5 5.62%
No answer/I don't identify with my orientation 3 3.37%
Voters: 89. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-04-2007, 12:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Gay, bi, or straight?

The subject of making a poll came up in my other thread. This seems to be a good forum for this type of discussion.

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Old 09-04-2007, 01:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I voted lesbian, although I could argue for either that or bi. I consider myself sort of between the two labels, as I strongly prefer women.
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Old 09-04-2007, 01:44 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I really resist labels - it's all about love. Whether or not I can love someone deeply has nothing to do with what sexual equipment they have. Does that make me bi? What if I fall in love with someone transgendered? Is there a label for that? In the moment, there are no labels.
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Old 09-04-2007, 02:04 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I'd say that this poll is about sexual attraction rather than love, and to me they're quite separate things, you can have one without the other.

Although I must say I also dislike labels. I mean, I like men, but Angelina Jolie is also pretty hot, so who knows?
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Old 09-04-2007, 02:50 PM   #5 (permalink)
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You're right, it should be less black-and-white. I can't change it but I guess 'No answer' could mean 'I don't identify with my orientation'.
Brutha: I have made the change for you.

I generally prefer to think of my orientation as an experience I'm having rather than a part of my identity, but during the 'coming out' process I went with the crowd and announced that I was 'gay', just because, well, it is pretty black-and-white with me and I didn't want to be in denial of it. I think it tends to be a little more that way with males than with females, for whatever reason, which is why I made the poll gender specific. I momentarily forgot that this is a 'highly conscious' group that can't be pigeon-holed.

Oh well. Feel free to discuss it intelligently rather than using the poll. I'm just curious who has had the experiences I'm having.

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Old 09-04-2007, 04:45 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Being a woman who is at least very attracted to men, I don't worry too much about the stigma or labels. I've been with some phenomenal, beautiful women, but relations with men tend to be very empowering. I can just admire a woman's beauty and find her very sexy and want to touch her, but a man's desire, and being able to control that, is incredibly sexy. So I guess straight? Not "bi-curious," because I know how I feel, but it's either bi or straight. I don't worry about it.

ETA: PLEASE! I'm the only person who is not sure about which label?
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Old 09-04-2007, 05:16 PM   #7 (permalink)
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There must be degrees, Maeve. Because I have no inclination to do anything sexual with a woman at all, though I can certainly appreciate how beautiful women are. I just like men when it comes to sex. But I know a lot of people who look at it the way you do and also a lot of people who are just flat out homosexual and the opposite sex does nothing whatsoever for them.
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Old 09-04-2007, 06:34 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I agree, Aspiring. Slamhot says the same thing about men, that he can find them beautiful, but gets squicked out when I try to talk about man on man love.

My brother's bi, but most certainly prefers men. His fiance is totally gay. Just depends.
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Old 09-04-2007, 09:13 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I am somewere inbetween hetero and bi. Never really tried it out with a woman so I do not really 100% know the truth. So I tend to have a hard time really answer this sort of polls. One main thing is that I have a relationship with a man that I love and that I want to marry so why should I test myself now? So I live in the void for now!

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Old 09-05-2007, 01:24 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I still appreciate the male body, but I am not interested in male attention; it's sometimes flattering, but more often an inconvenience.

I voted for lesbian not because I'm incapable of sleeping with men (think back to the olden days when people had no choice in getting married and who they get married to; people are capable of just about everything if they don't have any other choice), but because when I imagine being with someone for the rest of my life, I can only imagine being with a woman.

May be that will change, and that's partly why people hate labels. For the moment, I strongly doubt it.
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Old 09-06-2007, 08:43 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I'm only attracted to guys who weigh over 220lbs and less than 280lbs or so. Its been that way since I was about ten.

Weird, huh?
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Old 09-06-2007, 09:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I tend to connect to guys more easily on every level. I admire their strength, toughness and willingness to take risks, to seek out and try new things, having no qualms about breaking convention or doing things no one else is doing. A woman that can seriously challenge an elite male in these areas is rare, but incredibly attractive.

I can develop intense physical attraction to a guy almost instantly, while it usually takes a bit of contact to develop very strong feelings for a woman. Interestingly, once the feelings have gotten very strong, in the past it has been more difficult to fully let go of an attachment to a woman. Somehow they seem chemically more addictive, while my contact with men simply feels empowering.

If STDs were no concern and there were nearly as many bi/gay men at hand as bi/hetero women, I'd primarily be involved with guys. As it is, I enjoy the vast abundance of kind, lovely women seeking out intriguing men in the area.
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Old 09-07-2007, 01:10 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Namaste View Post
Although I must say I also dislike labels. I mean, I like men, but Angelina Jolie is also pretty hot, so who knows?
LOL. I know a ton of girls who'd be lesbian for Angelina Jolie.
A bunch of gay guys who would be straight for her.

My bi friend's boyfriend said he'd cheat on her only with Angelina Jolie. And she responded, "Don't worry man. I'd cheat on you too for Angie." And they bonded over it!

Oh and more related to the post, I can greatly admire women (like Angelina Jolie) for their strength, beauty, etc., but I'm never romantically attracted to them. I do believe sexuality is like a scale and nobody's completely totally gay or straight.

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Old 09-07-2007, 04:45 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Dan.Linehan View Post
I'm only attracted to guys who weigh over 220lbs and less than 280lbs or so. Its been that way since I was about ten.

Weird, huh?
No, that's not weird at all. It makes an enormous difference.
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Old 09-07-2007, 07:40 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Funny I don't find Angelina at all attractive...I like other types of girls to look at at this moment...

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Old 09-07-2007, 10:24 AM   #16 (permalink)
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I can understand Jolie's appeal... kinda... but I have to stretch myself a little to see it. Just as I can see why she's sexy, I'm also intensely aware of the fact that I'm decidedly not attracted to her.

That more or less sums up my view of guys as sexual creatures. If I push the limits of my ability to see the world as others do... yes. I can glimpse the sexual appeal of particular guys. But such a stretch makes it all the more clear to me how very not-me it is.
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Old 09-08-2007, 09:12 PM   #17 (permalink)
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What a coincidence that someone decided to start this poll just as I am facing a crisis in this area of my life!

I guess I would have to answer bi...

I'm a girl and I've always been attracted to men, my whole freaking life... But a few weeks ago I've been noticing that I've also been attracted to women... And it's driving me crazy, I never thought I would see myself checking girls out just like I do when I see a cute guy... I've kissed girls, but it's been more than a year ago and I didn't think it was a big deal....

It's being a tough time for me... I've actually been crying myself to sleep every night because of this, and waking up crying again... I just feel so guilty and ashamed...And scared!

Is is possible that it's just a phase? I'm 21 already, I thought this crisis only happened when you're a teen...

This is my very first post here, I didn't even write a hello message on the New Members' Thread... It's just that when I saw this poll/thread I just felt an urge to post and ask for guidance, since there are people here who seem to understand what I'm talking about... If I was supposed to post this somewhere else, I'm sorry!!!

So... Can anyone help me understand this??

Thanks for reading,
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Old 09-08-2007, 09:32 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sakaguchi View Post
What a coincidence that someone decided to start this poll just as I am facing a crisis in this area of my life!
Take a breath.

You're still human. You're not defined by your sexual interests. Who you are hasn't changed because you're interested in something else.

It's similar to saying that I love to go hiking, but one day I feel like swimming. It's different, it's unexpected, but it doesn't change who I am: it's just a chance to evolve into someone who likes hiking AND swimming.

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I've kissed girls, but it's been more than a year ago and I didn't think it was a big deal....

Is is possible that it's just a phase? I'm 21 already, I thought this crisis only happened when you're a teen...
It's not. It's experimentation, and there is no reason to stop experimenting sexually if everyone else involved is consenting. Creepy as it might sound, there's no reason, except disinterest or, you know, health issues, to stop if you're 90.

It might go away quietly, and it might not. Don't think of it as a threat; it's an opportunity. For you. Meet some girls, find out if they're interested, and see if you like it. If you do, then accept it; if you don't, then the phase will pass.

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This is my very first post here, I didn't even write a hello message on the New Members' Thread... It's just that when I saw this poll/thread I just felt an urge to post and ask for guidance, since there are people here who seem to understand what I'm talking about... If I was supposed to post this somewhere else, I'm sorry!!!
You didn't do anything wrong. You post where you want to.

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So... Can anyone help me understand this??
I'll let someone who's actually a female bisexual explain it to you. According to the poll, there are some here.
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Old 09-08-2007, 09:33 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
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What a coincidence that someone decided to start this poll just as I am facing a crisis in this area of my life!
Hello and welcome aboard Sakaguchi...

I suggest that you start another thread to discuss your dilemma... since discussing it here would necessitate a hijack of this thread...

The very best of luck to you...
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Old 09-08-2007, 09:35 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I'm a bromosexual -- I'm into things that fizz.
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Old 09-08-2007, 09:36 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Hello and welcome aboard Sakaguchi...

I suggest that you start another thread to discuss your dilemma... since discussing it here would necessitate a hijack of this thread...

The very best of luck to you...
.
I think it's okay to hijack the thread for this. It's probably a touch disconcerting to a new member to have to jump threads. But it's up to a moderator.
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Old 09-08-2007, 09:41 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
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I'm a bromosexual -- I'm into things that fizz.
"Plop Plop Fizz Fizz oh what a relief it is..." -- Alka Seltzer
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Old 09-09-2007, 04:42 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Well, I started the thread and I say you can talk about anything remotely related. The important thing is that people see the poll and either cast their vote or explain themselves in the discussion.

Sakaguchi, yes. This is just a phase. Eventually, you'll either stop thinking about girls or you'll accept that you are not confined to a single gender and maybe even consider it an advantage (I wish my sexuality weren't so narrow). Shame doesn't have to last forever.
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Old 09-09-2007, 04:46 AM   #24 (permalink)
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"Plop Plop Fizz Fizz oh what a relief it is..." -- Alka Seltzer
.
Don't sing that song to me unless you're ready to back it up with some action!! (I also like "Tiny Bubbles").
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Old 09-09-2007, 05:02 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Oh my God!

You realize how much of an age difference there is between you, right?

Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. We're all open minded here at stevepavlina.com!
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Old 09-09-2007, 05:43 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Oh my God!

You realize how much of an age difference there is between you, right?

Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. We're all open minded here at stevepavlina.com!
They're both married, too. Heterosexually.
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Old 09-09-2007, 05:59 AM   #27 (permalink)
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They're both married, too. Heterosexually.
Yea... but they can't send me to jail for what I'm thinking...

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Old 09-09-2007, 06:14 AM   #28 (permalink)
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I actually have no idea how old Angela is, I just assumed she was twenty-something because I know an Angela who is twenty-something.
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Old 09-09-2007, 07:17 AM   #29 (permalink)
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She's a lady; we're not supposed to ask! We're really derailing now, but people in this forum throw off my age estimates very easily because most of us act older than we are. I keep feeling as if I should adjust down, and then I twitch and remember how little age actually matters, especially when the proof of that is in front of me.

I'll stop hijacking the thread now.
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Old 09-09-2007, 07:24 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Well, I'm pretty sure Angela is in her early-to-middle forties and not married.

Just pay attention on what people post.
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