What do men want in a relationship?

[Lallymac]

Brutha: This is a split off from What Women Want please don't go off topic in a thread, but open a new one if you want to ask a new and different question from the one discussed in the topic.

We hear a lot about what women want. What do men want in a relationship?

Lallymac

[Matthew Shea]

Speaking for myself, we want our women to be the sexual agressors from time to time. Being the initiator all the time gets old after a while.

[MmeIntentional]

Originally Posted by Matthew Shea

Speaking for myself, we want our women to be the sexual agressors from time to time. Being the initiator all the time gets old after a while.

Ha don't make make laugh! Maybe I'm too agressive (told many a time) but men don't seem to like it and get freaked out by it all BUT still come back for more.

In one case I had a man pinned up against the wall and all he could say was ....I want to go home.
We did have a laugh about it the next day.

I don't really think men know what they want because when they get it they don't want it anymore. However I would love to hear what they DO want in a relationship. So come you guys do tell

[Matthew Shea]

Well, I just did, but obviously you don't believe me. Perhaps the guys you're familiar with just are too full of themselves to be comfortable with an agressive woman. I tend to appreciate them. Takes a bit of pressure off as far as I'm concerned.

[akbarhome]

Honesty and sex.

[Angela]

I always figured men want to feel appreciated and trusted in a relationship. Are those things priorities for you guys?

[MmeIntentional]

Originally Posted by Matthew Shea

Well, I just did, but obviously you don't believe me. Perhaps the guys you're familiar with just are too full of themselves to be comfortable with an agressive woman. I tend to appreciate them. Takes a bit of pressure off as far as I'm concerned.

Ok Ok may be it's it's me I'm a tomboy at heart but don't look it. So when it comes doen to the crunch I have to take 100% control otherwise I get shy and stupid However saying that I do want a man (in bedroom) to be be fully in control and very rough. I just love it

Anyways apart from the sex bit what do you want?

akbarhome: At least you said it ...the magic word honesty. It does wonders for me each time good or bad

[NotesMaeve]

Originally Posted by Lallymac

We hear a lot about what women want. What do men want in a relationship?

Yay for you starting this thread!

Originally Posted by Matthew Shea

Speaking for myself, we want our women to be the sexual agressors from time to time. Being the initiator all the time gets old after a while.

See, I think for a lot of women, that's unclear. Want us to rip your clothes off? Be flirtatious? Say something? Physically carry you to the bedroom? (Ain't happening.)

Although, I am going to act under MY definition of aggression and see if it works. Will report back.

Originally Posted by akbarhome

Honesty and sex.

You complex devils, you.

[Christian223]

Well, i think i want someone who is sincerely attracted to my character traits, someone who admires me and what i do, someone with who i can be playfull, someone i can trust and relax just beign myself, someone i can admire what she does as how she is, someone who helps me grow, someone who wants to grow, someone very femenine and intelligent, someone who doesnt talk too much (), someone with high sex drive.

Thats what I think i want. I have been thinking really hard on what do i really want... thats different i guess, because its more related to who i really am, in part im afraid that ill end up beign with someone who is an exact match for who i am, because one of the most important things for me is self respect, not blind self respect, i dont want to be a jerk and get a girlfriend who likes jerks, i want to be the best who i can be and get a girlfriend who likes that, a great man... i want no less than that, otherwise i wont respect myself...

[joelyle]

Her actions will be consistent with what she says she wants; She knows what she wants and knows how to get it. She understands that she is more than her body and her mind, that she is a spiritual being and that beauty has much to do with her view of herself. Yes, there must be that initial attraction. She realizes that she is much more than her roles (mother/daughter/employee). She is playful, capable of intimacy (this goes beyond the physical), she is able to be vulnerable/open/welcomes risk, she can be KNOWN). Challenging, diplomatic, intelligent and mature (in touch with reality). She is in a state of constent change (as I am).

[Angela]

Boy, you guys are demanding!! Couldn't we just be rich and have large breasts?

[NotesMaeve]

I really like the answers, Christian and Joe. They're very complete and well thought-out.

[joelyle]

yeah..that's all I really want !
Can we travel the world and make endless love...if so, yeah, let's do that; otherwise she gotta be a smarty and have some substance...

[Matthew Shea]

Originally Posted by Angela

Boy, you guys are demanding!! Couldn't we just be rich and have large breasts?

A guy can forgive a LOT for those.

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

See, I think for a lot of women, that's unclear. Want us to rip your clothes off? Be flirtatious? Say something? Physically carry you to the bedroom? (Ain't happening.)

Sure. All that! Just don't hurt me!

Seriously, though, maybe certain guys, maybe even most guys don't appreciate that, but there are a lot of us who are comfortable enough to give up control from time to time. Not always, just sometimes. I'm not talking about anything wierd, either. Do what you'd normally do, but be super confident and take control. I think that one sign of true confidence in yourself and trust in your partner is the ability to let the other person take control sometimes. Hopefully that clears it up.

From a non-sexual, long-term relationship point of view, I like a woman who will be straightforward (I'm terrible at getting hints, sorry but it's true) and confident. Don't be a controlling, micro-managing type, but do be confident. If you've got something on your mind, don't pussyfoot around the issue, worried about my response. Just come out with it and let's discuss. I don't expect you to back down if I don't react well, either, but the ability to compromise and come up with creative solutions is certainly helpful. Self discipline, especially around food, is good and being comfortable enough in your own skin to be OK with the fact that our interests will tend to vary is definitely a plus. In other words, I still like time for me on occasion, as much as I like spending time together. Also, getting back to the confidence thing, don't be threatened by other women. I'm going to look just as nearly every straight guy does, perhaps frequently, but that has NO bearing on us.

P.S. One more thing: if I make a comment on something in general, it MOST CERTAINLY is NOT a subtle hint that there's a problem with you and I'm trying to hint that you need to fix it. This is a confidence thing again. If I talk about all those so-and-so's doing this, that and the other thing, it doesn't mean I'm referring to you just because you might do one of the things I'm talking about. If I talk about people getting fat from eat McDonalds, don't worry just because you have it on occasion. If you're normally good about such things, rest assured I'm not talking about you in particular.

[openeyes]

Originally Posted by Angela

Boy, you guys are demanding!! Couldn't we just be rich and have large breasts?

That could be a fine start. I'd be a great house husband

As for relationships, if I can't trust a woman, I can't love her. It'd be nice to be with someone I can share a lot with, being able to open up about my views on things without fear of weirding her out, and sharing my feelings without being seen as too soft.

I enjoy women who will actually go for what they want, that are willing to get on top on occasion and bring a lot of passion to things. She'd need to have her own life and not be dependent on me for emotional fulfillment. Jealousy also would never work.

[Lola]

Hot diggity - I'm starting to feel like the perfect woman! Well, still working on the rich part...

Let me know if any of you thoughtful, insightful, genuine men ever find yourselves in North Texas!

[Shamou]

Intelligent, talented, sophisticated, discerning, stylish, feminine, independent, ambitious, proud and passionate...
.

[joelyle]

I will go anywhere for the right reasons...

Originally Posted by Lola

Let me know if any of you thoughtful, insightful, genuine men ever find yourselves in North Texas!

Keep it real, y'all

[SmellyOrc]

What do men want in a relationship?

A hot girl, and passionate kisses is all I need. Oh, and love too, if it's not too much to ask :P

[Iksander]

Loyalty, elegant and passionate sexuality, affectionate, intelligent, and beautiful.

Women are so enchanting, I want one that can reciprocate, I want a woman that will not settle for anything less than the best in me and won't be afraid to get me back in line when I am not.

A woman that is simple, willing to see the world with me and enjoys material comforts as much as the rigor of traveling.

That would be my companion. Otherwise she's got to be hot, horny, and available

[Plato]

I'm unconvinced by monogamy. It is the fast lane to hell.

I don't want a monogamous relationship with any woman. My girls have to be happy to share me and they must be able to find ways to amuse themselves when I'm not with them. I will not be any woman's exclusive lover.

Note: I am not a "playa", I respect and love women on both a sexual and spiritual level.

[bloggingmix]

A relationship with imperfections is the ideal relationship I want to have. I'm not looking for a perfect woman for I, myself isn't perfect.

[Isis Kali]

I'm skeptical, mostly because I just had a breakup. The man lied to me in order to go for someone pretty skanky who would give them easy sex. We had the whole package of physical attraction, mutual admiration, very similar interests and personalities, etc.

As many men as I've heard who say that they want sweet, sensitive stuff, the reality is way different.

What I've seen in most: Men want what's easy. They don't like a challenge. The easier woman will win. They want their needs met. They want sex with the least amount of effort, bottom line. They will try to speak the pretty in order to make what they want less simple-sounding, but that's it in a nutshell.

Things like PUA movement are popular because the deep, loving experience that many women are searching for is reduced to numbers, rules, and other logical, gaming tactics by men in order to deceive. This leads to one side being satisfied, and the other left in the dust. But, hey, these men appreciate what the women have (hidden under their clothing), and they all adore women.

Plato, I think, is saying the truth of what many men like. Easy access and the ability to walk away, with the feeling that they're not to blame for anything that they leave behind.

And, hey, my views may be just a bit dry at the moment. Just sayin'...

[munish]

Interestingly enough, these are the same qualities I find most attractive in women — i.e. women who enjoy challenges; who are quirky and unusual; who have a high risk tolerance; who want to serve the greater good; and who can appreciate creativity, Catholicism, and kleptomania.-Steve Pavlina.

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2007/04/sex-energy/

[munish]

Originally Posted by Isis Kali

I'm skeptical, mostly because I just had a breakup. The man lied to me in order to go for someone pretty skanky who would give them easy sex. We had the whole package of physical attraction, mutual admiration, very similar interests and personalities, etc.

As many men as I've heard who say that they want sweet, sensitive stuff, the reality is way different.

What I've seen in most: Men want what's easy. They don't like a challenge. The easier woman will win. They want their needs met. They want sex with the least amount of effort, bottom line. They will try to speak the pretty in order to make what they want less simple-sounding, but that's it in a nutshell.

But, hey, these men appreciate what the women have (hidden under their clothing), and they all adore women.

Plato, I think, is saying the truth of what many men like. Easy access and the ability to walk away, with the feeling that they're not to blame for anything that they leave behind.

And, hey, my views may be just a bit dry at the moment. Just sayin'...

In every field, in every activity, you are indulging and emphasizing yourself, your importance, your prestige, your security. Therefore, there is only one source of self-forgetfulness, which is sex, and that is why the woman or the man becomes all-important to you, and why you must possess. So, you build a society which enforces that possession, guarantees you that possession; and naturally sex becomes the all-important problem .-Anonymous.

[JimOfferman]

What I want - besides the obligatory physical attraction thing - is someone who is as honest, loving and committed to making the relationship work as I am. I need her to be straight forward, direct and open in communicating her wants and needs to me - I don't do those guessing games very well. I also need her to have her own life. I want her to fit me into her life (and vice versa), but I don't want to be her life. Of course, she's also interesting, spontaneous (when needed) and funny.

Most of all, she has to be just right for me

[Plato]

The Way of The Superior Man, by David Deida explains all.

[Addict]

Originally Posted by MmeIntentional

In one case I had a man pinned up against the wall and all he could say was ....I want to go home.

Jeez. I am reminded of a quote from PCU: "Ok, now it's true, the majority of students today are so cravenly PC, they wouldn't know a good time if it was sitting on their face..."

A while ago I read "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." I always assumed it was some new-agey dating book, but it actually has amazingly accurate descriptions of the needs of both men and women (and it's written by a man). I learned a lot about communicating with women and I think it has really helped my relationship. I would recommend it to anyone struggling with communication or confused by the opposite sex.

In my opinion, men typically want some pretty standard things from a women:

• Acceptance
• Appreciation
• Honesty
• Trust
• Straightforwardness (we can't read minds)
• Independence (on both parts)
• Affection

[openeyes]

Originally Posted by Isis Kali

Plato, I think, is saying the truth of what many men like. Easy access and the ability to walk away, with the feeling that they're not to blame for anything that they leave behind.

I can't speak for Plato, but that didn't seem to be what he was saying with this: "I am not a "playa", I respect and love women on both a sexual and spiritual level."

Polyamory has been discussed on a number of threads already. My current view is that I may be willing to try monogamy if I could maintain my close interactions with friends. In general I'd rather be single with lots of close affectionate friends than be expected to focus all my care and attention on only one person.

I enjoy women who are clear about what they want and are comfortable with going for it. Virtually all the women I've dated either made the first move or gave signals that I picked up on so I could move things along. A woman who has yet to embrace her sexuality and still plays hard to get likely wouldn't be a good fit for me.

[Akashic_Librarian]

I want a girl who doesn't cry if I make a fat joke...we have to hear it from you, and its a two way street.

I want a present sometimes, its no fun having to buy things for you ALL the time.

Hypocrisy will not be tolerated.

"for the love of god your hair looks FINE."

"I promise you, you won't get fat if you order the chips"

...size does matter, and you know it, stop lying to protect our feelings!

If you laugh at it...I swear to god, you won't see it again...

Ermm yeah, those are my thoughts on a what...well its kinda of more like a musing really...it doesn't make much sense but you see the points I am trying to make...I am sure there is a term for it, its some advanced literary device I think....OH well...

[edit: I know these don't apply to all women, mostly just the shallow, teenage chavs I have to live with...*sighs*]