|08-19-2007, 06:16 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2007
I dont know how to start this so I guess I will just start rambling till I get everything across.
No one in my life would probably believe if I told them, but Im empathic.
I felt like I had to share my story with someone and what better way to do it then anonymously on an internet forum.
As long as I can remember I have been able to see and almost feel peoples emotions as if it were another facial expression they have no control over.
No I dont see auras or anything. Its almost like an instinct feeling. Most of the time I have to look at their eyes to pick it up. But if their emotions are strong enough I dont even need to look at them.
Also I get a small taste of their general mind set and a simple glance I can usually sum up if I want to associate my self with a person.
I cant read minds, I cant scan memories. I dont see the future or the past. I just feel peoples emotions and can get a good sum of what their personal as a whole is like through eye contact.
I remember going to school when I was young and a kid was obviously lying.(Obvious to me anyway) He was talking about some spousal abuse going on in his house. I called him out on his lie. Of course it back fired on me. Every one got angry at me and felt like I was trying to take attention away from him.
I just didnt understand why no one else could tell that this kid was lying. I mean it was so obvious, that prideful feeling that radiated off him like bad cologne. He was enjoying telling this lie. It angered me. Why did no one else see it. A few years later I was close friends with this girl and we were both at a mutual friends house and this friend was badly depressed but she wore a smile. After me and my friend left I asked why she was so depressed, and my friend told me she wasnt. I insisted she was and that I could feel that she was. She laughed and said "No one can understand the feelings of another" Thats probably when I realized I was the only one(that I knew of) that could feel what others were feeling.
At this point it began bothering me and weighing heavily on me. Moreso then before. I began to study psychology as I entered high school and continued into college. I studied everything from freudian to Jungion psychology niether of which satisfied me but both gave me hints.
It was rough in highschool for me. I always avoided large crowds and had only a few friends. The only people I came across who didnt have a ill will toward me. Im still best friends with a certain one this day. I never understood why I hated large groups or giving speeches till later in college. I hated most jocks and preps in highschool but not for the same reason others did. Being around them sickened me. Some didnt, only about half, but the jocks and the preps had more access to what bothered me so. Even some students who didnt wear social tags gave me the same ill feeling. I will explain it later.
I really didnt start understanding just what was going on with me till I started dating my first girlfriend right after highschool. This is around the time I really started to take notice of what I could do.
Being deeply emotionally involved with someone really intensified the part of me that could sense others feelings.
She was a friend through out highschool( the same girl i mentioned before) and became near best friends for a while. She dated a few guys along the way always asking me advice. She noticed when I warned her about certain guys I was always right about their intentions. She gaffed it of as "guys can see right through other guys."
Well one day after she broke up with a boyfriend her grandmother died shortly after and I was there to console her. I felt her emotions and prodded around for the right thing to say that got the best emotional response that made her feel better.
Someone else happened during that. She began to have feelings toward me. It didnt feel right though. Something just felt off. Well we started dating. I was able to appease her emotionally in everyway I could find. She bragged to our friends that we had a connection. And being able to sense others emotions came in handy in other parts of our relationship but im not going there.
Then that same sickening feeling I got from the jocks and preps and other general jackasses from my high school started to resurface... from her. It tortured me. I didnt understand it. Why her?
Then I realized. She didnt love me. She just wanted to scratch that itch for a boy friend and the physical pleasures it could bring.
We dated for about another 2 months then broke up with her. Every time we were intimate it was a caring feeling for me, but for her it was like she was scratching an itch, getting rid of a need. And I was simply a tool to help that. It wasnt just there, through out our relationship I was just there to make her feel better. She didnt care for me. She was just nice to me to make sure I would be nice to her.
What a disgusting feeling it was. I dont know why it feels so nasty.
Its something I struggled with all of my life. Lust without love makes me feel like im swimming in the sewer full of fecal matter and other obscenities.
Love different, it feels alot better. I wouldnt say its Pure but it does have a very good feeling to it. The love i feel between older couples and even some younger ones was good. However most couples today radiate with that stench of lust, distrust, and self satisfaction. One sided love is common. Usually a guy is getting his jollies off and the girl is madly inlove. It can be vise verca as well.
Oh well I will move on to something else.
Lying.... the emotions conveyed in lies are as varied as the people telling them.
In all my experiances people lie for pride... to make them selves feel better. Usually this safe feeling you get from hiding behind a lie is replaced with guilt.
Some people dont feel guilt for it... these are the people that scare me the most. They lie so easily with no remorse.
Some people get a feeling of ecstacy from it. I never understood this. Its like the biggest joy in the world for them to decieve someone. They feel clever. I guess they struggle with their own self confidence and lying makes them feel like they are smart because they tricked someone. Thats my theroy anyway.
The term white lie is more common then people think, little lies to protect feelings or otherwise ease a situation are extremely common. I dont go through a day with out feeling it about 20-30 times. And I tend to be a loner so thats alot =p
You would be surprised how someones emotions can effect others. I believe every one has a small sense of others emotions. They may not recognize it or lie to them selves about it. I wonder if my sense isnt just a hyperactive version of what everyone else has. However your emotions can weigh heavily on others. I tend to believe people who hate giving speeches in front of a class and get nervous tend to have a little better sense of emotions then the next. Sometimes I think to my self "Ignorance is bliss, things would be much easier if I didnt know" I hate giving speeches. You would be surprised how often peoples emotions are linked and become a hive mind as you will or a mob. When you are giving a speech a majority of the class has their emotions focused on you. And for me, its torturous. A slew of emotions almost attack you as you give the speech. Everything from people disagreeing with what your giving a speech on. Thinking you stupid is a particularly painful one. Even jealously.. one of the darkest emotions. Thats why I hate being in groups. So many different emotions negative, some positive. But its a mental overload for me. Its very stressful and If im required to be in a large group of people for any reason I will frequently take breaks to the bathroom or other secluded areas just to get a breather.
Once I get alone and no emotions are beating agaisnt me its like I can just let go of all the emotions I have been sensing. Its like releasing a pent up energy in your chest.
Negative emotions tend to linger longer then possitive ones. I guess this is why people say all humans are naturally evil... I tend to disagree. There are all types of people in this world.
Their are people who feel the need to do good deeds....
People that get sick pleasure out of others misery
People who just want to be left alone.
People who dont care either way.
People who just want to have fun and dont care what happens to others.
People who think their better then everyone else and have some twisted desire to prove it.
I could go on and on....
But negative feelings are always the strongest and most lingering.
Especially jealously. I hate jealously. Its one of the worst emotions. It has all the disgusting feelings of lust and desire but with the sting of pent up anger in the fact you know you cant have what you want. Also knowing that if you take what you want it could hurt others feelings.
The best way to discribe jealously? I would have to say it feels venomous...
While jealously feels like venom coursing through the veins.... hatred is not stranger either... while it doesnt feel as dangerous as jealously.. it feels more dark.
Hatred tends to be a relief from jealously. Hating someone or something actually makes you feel better about the situation. You become more emotionally detected then you were before when you become mad or even angry. Anger helps sever emotional ties. Because emotional ties can hurt more then being mad.
Thats why when someone dies or something goes really wrong people want to blame someone. It feels better to be angry and hate them then having an emotional tie.
You would be surprised where the strongest negative emotions arrive in bursts would be...
|08-19-2007, 06:17 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2007
Yeah driving a car can bring out the worst emotions in people. They are so strong I dont even have to look in their eyes to tell whats going on. I can tell just by looking at the car their in.
Its fairly simple to feel impulses from people in traffic. And knowing when someone is about to cut me off has been beneficial in more than one way. People get so angry and so fed up while driving if someone impedes their progress. Others take out their latent anger and pent up emotions while driving.
I guess I better start wrapping it up.
Becareful of quiet seemingly innocent people. Some of the darkest hatred/jeaously/dispare comes from these people, although some are truely innocent you would be surprised of the darknest people carry in their hearts.
I dont know whether im blessed or cursed. Seeing peoples true colors has become something Im use to. However it has effected me in the fact ive never had a good relationship. All the girls Ive even considered dating had some seriously twisted emotions. Im not saying im innocent and pure. I am very self aware thanks to all this. Even though I can see the horrors of some of peoples feelings I still get jealous and angry. Im not perfect.
I tend to like to be alone or only with one or two people so its managable.
I dont know how I would do if I married. Constantly feeding off one persons emotions gets mentally tiring after a while. I enjoy my alone time, its like I get to recharge.
Its very draining to take in alot of emotions at a time.
Anyways thats all I guess I will say for now, but I will gladly answer any questions that you guys may have.
|08-19-2007, 09:15 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
I've always been sensitive to other people's feelings. I expect it is easier if you are female as people aren't so surprised by it. I'm guessing it is harder if you are a young guy because it goes against the norm. That's not to say guys can't intuit feelings it's just that there is a lot of societal pressure not to show it and shove all those feeling down under macho bravado.
So where do you start and what do you do with it? Well the first thing to realise is that you have a talent for this. A gift if you like. However talent without discipline doesn't get very far. You need to learn how to control and develop it.
What you need to do first is learn how to ground yourself and not pick up emotions when you don't want to. It is very draining to absorb everything from everyone so learning how to switch it off and on at will will protect you and enable you to socialise when you choose. This was a very important part of my training. When I first started learning to do energy healing as soon as I touched a practise client I would absorb all their pain and burst into tears! Not very helpful for the client and not fun for me either. I had to learn how to deal with the painful emotions inside me so I could switch them off and help others. (I did this through EFT and other energy healing. I also think being Reiki attuned helped me learn how to channel energy and ground myself). It wasn't an instant process, but a persistant work on dealing with those uncomfortable feelings.
The next thing you need to do is learn how to develop your strength even further so you can use it to help others. I really enjoyened Sonia Choquette's book "Diary of a Psychic" in that it showed her development of her psychic skills. Yes she had a natural talent in communicating with the spirit world, but she had to learn how to trust and use it. It also showed that using your gifts isn't always the easiest path, but it is the most interesting! Now your skill is different as it is empathy rather than psychic, but I think you would find a lot a parallels in how to develop it. It would be great if you could find a mentor to teach you. You might want to consider putting out a request via LOA that the right mentor comes into your life to assist you with your development.
It can be very painful being privy to the feelings of others, it is also a priviledge and one that you can use to help them. I'm sure with the right development you will find the path that enables you to use it well.
|08-19-2007, 09:38 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2007
Its when ever I look into someones eyes or their emotions are overpoweringly strong that I pick them up. Ive tried to block them out before but its like another sense for me. Its like me trying to stop the pain i feel when putting my hand on a stove. Not all of the emotions are bad, I must admit ive taken pleasure in taking in certain emotions ive come across. Not just pleasure but I love going to the movies with someone and seeing one That i have already seen so I can focus solely on absorbing their excitement surprise and laughter. Its like experiancing the whole movie all over again.
Its brought me pleasure and pain but I guess it balances out.
I just had a really hard time dealing being around people with really strong negative emotions. The worst is when im around people who dont know me, youd be surprised how much they distrust you before they get to know you, I guess its the fear of the unknown.
The strangest thing ive come across though are all the people uncertain with them selves. Theirs not as many closet gay people as people think. Most of them are struggling with their gay impulses others accept them. Some people who are in a gay relationship really arent gay they just want to be treated like the different sex. Im strait and in no way disrespect gay people, its just very ackward feelings that come from them that I'd rather not experiance so I tend to distance my self from them.
Strangely enough, girls enjoy sex more then guys do. Guys have a much deeper seeded desire for it though.
Whats even more surprising is people living lives just so they can fit in with the normal and desperately hate their lives but think its nessicary in the eyes of others.
Ah im rambling again... anyways...
yeah a mentor would be nice i guess, ive lived with it like it is up till now, i guess im happy, just wish I could trust someone in a relationship.
the longer im around someone the more I attune to them and pick them up easier... and I find things out that sometimes scare me.
|08-20-2007, 12:19 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2007
I hear you....... it is as much a blessing as a curse...
1) blessing because it can be the most valuable assest you have to keep you safe, it can be trusted 100 percent of the time,
2) curse because this assest will often go against the crowd*- in other words
all others are trusting the conversation, the body language, the smile , the nuances, but your hair is standing up and your bells are banging loudly*
your head starts to fill up with thoughts that are not your own... you get anxious , you walk away and your present mood has been deeply effected,
and you get to deal with the residue.. for the rest of the day....
generally you want to give people the benefit of the doubt, take people at face value.... but THIS gift keeps you vigilent, it keeps you hyper alert all the time.........(wether you are consious of it or not), you are on a tweeked up mode, guided by an inner unseen compass, no one else sees... if you try to explain it they just think your nuts....
let me share one of the strongest experiences i have had ....
I was at a gathering once, there were alot of people, and alot of laughter... I love laughter!! it attracts me , because i attribute laughter to happy.. good
I casually stroll over , this man has snowed the crowd by his jokes, he has blinded the entire crowd to their own radar, and he is cunningly and spitefully
using his wife as a platform to do his act, his jokes were good, the best "attack the wife" jokes i had ever heard, I looked at her, she was rolling her eyes, as if yeah yeah... yeah yeah.. a grin, on her face but not inside of her
I got litterally sick.. the minute i stood there I felt everything she was feeling it hit me like a tital wave.... i almost started to cry because of the pain that woman was feeling..... she was TERRIFIED of this man
later I walked up to him in private and said If I ever hear you laugh at this womans expense again i will have you charged with verbal abuse......and dont you dare insult my gift by telling me that she was playing along with you, that she is ok with your routine because she is NOT
I hugged her when i left and said ..... dont worry he has been exposed he is going to find a new object as a platform of his jokes
here is the thing, he was dark to the core......... it was not about him being an entertainer, that he was just a ham in front of people .... he was dark
he won't change, not because he doesnt want to but because that type of person can't....... absolute curelty and enjoying every minute of it
I'll trust this discernment or empathy or whatever it called....... 100 percent of the time
|08-20-2007, 12:23 PM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2007
Also as far as the "fear" , always remember that the "gift" is your protection, you are not defensless , the gift is your strength ....your ability to discern grows, so does the strength
does that make sense?
Last edited by Old Soul; 08-20-2007 at 12:29 PM.
|08-20-2007, 03:41 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2007
Wow yeah you hit it on the head a few times.
The hardest part is knowing no one will believe you while the other guy is truely being a total jack ass and no one knows it. No one would believe me.
I have a friend though who trusts my judgements on people. He always goes to me for advice on people and girls. I dont know if he thinks I have a gift or not but hes a very skeptical person and probably wouldnt believe me If I told him
About the residue you fight with for the rest of the day.
Although I have the ability to dump the emotional residue from situations.
Sometimes I can do it while in the crowd sometimes I need to be alone to concentrate enough.
I just pretty much build it up in my chest and let it go like a sigh of relief. Im not exactly sure how I do it but I think it developed from dealing with too many negative thoughts toward me at once one day and it was weighing me down and making sluggish. I went into my bathroom at work where it was quiet and just tried to fight it off but it was of no use.
I seen alot of japanese things of tai chi and flow of the body so I just imagined all the negative feelings and channeled them into my chest and just let them go. I would go insane if I had to deal with all that all day. People take notice that I frequently will leave a group and come back. They think I have a bathroom issue or something, what ever makes them happy and justify it I guess.
All though I dont really believe in chakra or flowing energy of the body I do use the method, I believe its a mental thing more than anything else.
I can feel emotions of people dreaming but I cant feel emotions of people im dreaming about, the range on my sense is I have to beable to at least clearly see their face especially their eyes for a very accurate reading. Strong emotional outbursts I can feel for a bit further away without looking. If im too far away the emotional outbursts kinda fade in the crowd and I cant discern who it is.
Not knowing who the emotions come from is probably one of the harder things to deal with. It happens especially in crowds. I dont know why it bothers me but it does alot. Especially if the emotion is focused toward me.
Its hard to go out with my current group of friends because a certain holds alot of hate and jealously toward me because of something that happened a few years ago that he did to him self. And its very strong and its hard to block out. They range from everything from wanting to punch me in the face to wanting to tell a dirty joke about me. Outwardly though he seems nice and everyone likes him, but hes horribly dark in the inside and singles me out alot for the brunt of his jokes and hes ALWAYS on alert for me to slip up and say something he can attack. Its difficult being around him because im always on the defensive, but strangely i have some need to appease his emotions and make him happy toward me. Is it stockholmes? who knows....
But anyway its nice to know im not the only one and if you have aim or something I would love to talk one day, you seem to go through the same stuff I do and I would love to discuss it further.
|08-21-2007, 04:17 AM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2007
Sometimes I feel like someone is watching over my back.
I sense curious and prodding emotions from right behind me or next to me but no one is there.
Recently they have been happening more frequently. And ive been trying harder to latch onto the source and when I do its like it runs away franticly.
At first if I wondered if it was ghosts or something but I dont think so. It feels like an extended mind. And when I notice it it retracts back to its source which is far far from my range of sense.
It launches back away and recoils in the same general direction, south of my house. I try harder and harder but I cant sense it for more then a few hundred yards away and it fades out of my reach.
Is someone using far sight or clairvoyance to spy on me or something? Ive always trusted my own empathic abilities but this is something far beyond my understanding.
Its always the same person, they are intensely curious almost like their studying me. Once or twice it was a different person. Theres two of them. One feels more offical like he is just checking see what im doing, but the more frequent one feels like she intensely curious.
The more frequent one is defintely feminine and the one who showed up once or twice was masculine. I dont sense any ill will from them more like their just watching me.
Am I being scryed?
|08-26-2007, 11:40 PM||#10 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2007
One thing I have noticed, is that I don't see much of a difference between my emotions and the emotional pollution of others. If you can watch the emotions others induce in you, you can just as easily watch the ones you induce in yourself through selfish thoughts or whatever other avenues they may arise.
I find that sometimes feeling certain emotions can actually trigger an intense emotional reaction within me. I'll suddenly become resentful toward whatever it is I am feeling. I consider that a step above being totally unaware, because even though I know it's not my emotion, I'm still turning it into a problem by letting it affect how I interact with my perceptions.
What has worked for me is instead of giving any form of ownership to emotions as they arise (Mine vs. Others'), I simply observe it however it is. Observe any action that arises out of it. Observe my justifications that arise out of it.
|09-02-2007, 06:35 AM||#11 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2007
I read your posts and became very interested. Are those people that you feel are watching you someone you have met or seen? Do you think it could be someone in your family? Or, do you think it may be a spirit guide? Maybe you should try to communicate with them to see what they want.
|09-14-2007, 01:53 AM||#12 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: new south wales Australia
I know exactly what you mean, when I was a child I used to use lying as a tool to get what I wanted, I was so damn good at it that my father who was in sales at the time for a major fork lift company told me that I should go into sales when I left school because he'd never seen a salesman who could come close to the sincerety that I possesed while lying" lol". As I got into my late teens that was all behind me, but I still could always tell when someone was lying because it seemed to me that it was just so obvious. I could look at anyone and tell their basic intent behind any statement, ulterior or whatever. I assumed at the time that it was because I had such experience with clouding peoples perceptions and it was just something I had picked up. I have known for years now that it was actually my ability to read other peoples emotions and in effect project or mirror whatever emotion I needed back at them. Its very interesting to see more than the average person does in this world, but it also can be very isolating since so much of the day to day rhythm of people is full of ulterior motives. But I would'nt have it any other way.
Last edited by Billy; 09-14-2007 at 09:40 AM.
|09-21-2007, 01:09 PM||#13 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Holistic star and other contributors make a lot of sense. To discern you have an ability is great. Yet like a budding athlete, you will benefit from finding people and other resources who will help you develop these talents.
My suggestion is: learn to sense what you can do as a gift. People who aren't like you may not understand, but its ultimately up to you to reinforce your own confidence. That will act as a solid foundation for the coming learning process.
|09-23-2007, 10:22 AM||#14 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: new south wales Australia
|09-26-2007, 06:05 PM||#15 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2007
signum I know what you're talking about. I think its called clairsentience. I know because I have it too. Its just like yours, but at a lower level.
Groups are the worst for me. It reminds of that scene from the Matrix 3, where Neo is getting bombarded by rays of energy.
I do the mental draining thing too... removing negative energy from my body and it works but only for a short time.
I did a google search yesterday and came across this link, take a look. Clairsentience I've just gotten into researching all of these myself after years of suffering.
Those energies that you're feeling that go away when you notice them... they maybe your spirit guides in a different dimension. Just a thought, maybe you should look into it.
Last edited by Bene; 09-26-2007 at 11:10 PM.
|09-26-2007, 10:29 PM||#16 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2007
I Know it exactly what you are saying. There are times I can feel people's emotions. Sometimes I can't due to overly tired or just plain stress out!
I like to say I 'm not trying to derail from this topic. A year ago, I dreamed
about a little girl that had black ratty hair, and dirty. This child had the most beautiful piercing blue eyes! There were people around her and everybody ignored her. I couldn't help her I felt helpless.
About 3 months after I had that dream. I had a little girl move into the neighborhood And guess what she was the one I dreamed about.
I was so shocked and freaked out! I looked into her eyes and felt everything
that was happening to her. She introduced herself a "nessie" Her real name was janessa. I got know her very well and her mother and as time went on
her mother was addicted to meth. Men were coming out like there was no tommorrow! One night I went over there knocked on the door. Janessa was sitting in the front living room floor with ratted hair and people were ignoring her. I knew it was her from my Dreams I started to get angry and started crying I thought to myself I can help her I called the police and now she is in
better hands with her Grandmother.
I know I did the right thing.
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