A Newbie with no direction.

[Littlemissme]

Hi guys! My name is Annie and I have no idea if I'm in the right place Really hoping some one can give me some insight.

I have a boyfriend of nearly 2 years, Matthew. This is all kind of related to him I guess. Brace yourselves, it's fairly long. Sorry.

I'm not sure I've ever seen a spirit. I can remember seeing odd things as a child but to my 25 year old self maybe they were dreams. Anyway, when I first starting going out with my boyfriend and staying at his place (a pub that his grandfather Alf owned, he died 5years ago) everything seemed fine. About 4 months into our relationship, I started getting a horrible feeling of being watched in his bedroom. I can't describe it other than generally feeling uncomfortable. I would tell my boyfriend and he would brush it off. At that point I started thinking I was crazy; if he can't sense anything then surely I must be mad. Weeks went by and the feeling would get stronger. I would lie in bed with him and would feel this, I don't know, 'dark shadow' standing over me. Sometimes I'd feel it if I looked towards the door of his bedroom, like it was staring at me. There were times when I'd scrunch my eyes shut, scared of what I'd see if I looked. This went on for ages, every night, and the more it happened, the more I'd pick up on. I started feeling like this thing was male, very.. dominant, very powerful, like respect had to be given. But Matt was so insistent, I just couldn't figure out what was going on.

Then randomly, one day I woke up and just KNEW I was feeling my boyfriends grandfather, I'd never met him and to this day I cant explain why I thought it. But it was enough for me to call my boyfriend home from work, sit him down and say 'I know you probably think I'm crazy, but I am telling you now, there is something here, I'm feeling SOMETHING and I think it's your grandfather'. At this point the game was up and he told me he already knew and saw him all the time but denied it so's not to scare me. After we talked openly about it he then informed me that his grandfathers ashes were in a room in the building, waiting to be scattered at his favourite beach and that that was why he was still hanging around, because he wasn't at peace or where he felt he belonged. I then told him about the corner of the room I'd feel him staring, and Matt was speechless! He started telling me about an argument him and his grandfather had one night, where my boyfriend had stormed out of the building and come up the back steps and went straight to bed. A while later he heard the door opening and knew it was Alf checking on him so pretended to sleep. And while he pretended to sleep, Alf stood staring at him, in that exact spot, for about 5mins before retiring to his own room.

After this revelation, I knew that was what I was feeling; this powerful, business man who was angry but wanted to look over his grandson. It all just felt like it fitted together. Id still feel it on a regular basis, but was slightly comforted by the fact I wasn't the only one who knew he was there. I wasn't crazy any more, I was just... slightly sensitive I guess.

Alf also owned cottages (just off the beach he wanted to be scattered at) which are still in the family and my boyfriend would holiday there a lot as a child. The first time I entered the property I was OK. Then it must have been about the 3rd visit, that I went up the stairs to the bathroom and stopped in my tracks, feeling like someone was standing in the bedroom doorway infront, watching me. I ran in the toilet and shut the door behind me. Feeling very very sick. I felt the hair on my neck, arms and legs stand up and had this gut sickly feeling and an overwhelming urge to cry. This was different to what I felt at the pub. I know I described Alf as a dark shadow but I guess I meant 'thick' in comparison to this, this felt DARK, evil dark. Just, bad!!! A bad, dark, evil male presence. I walked downstairs and asked Matt if there were any spirits in the cottage and he told me he wasn't going to talk about while we were there and I should speak to his mum when we got home. So I did! I told her which bedroom door I felt it by and what I actually felt to a T. She looked shocked and told me that when Matt was a child, that was his bedroom and he'd refuse to sleep there because of 'the nasty man at the door' and if he fell asleep in her room, she'd put him in his bed and he'd wake up with nightmares of 'the nasty man at the door'. I was fairly freaked out by now.

I've never had any sensitivity that I know of but it seemed like I was starting to pick up on things I never even knew were possible. But I weirdly felt OK with it because I knew it was nothing Matt hadn't already seen and dealt with. One day we were filming our kitten playing in the living room and looking back we counted at least 16 'orbs', ones that even the cat would watch fly across the room. Matt would say it was Alf, but I would debate with him that when I saw them, I would feel like there was more than one person. Again, I can't describe what that feeling actually is, but I just 'knew'.

Here's where my situation really changes. Last week, we took Alf's ashes to the cottages and scattered them on the beach. Matt told me that as he opened his hand to let the ashes go, he felt Alf go too. He broke down and could barely get his words out because he was so upset that he'd gone, but also said he felt happy and at peace that his grandfather could at long last rest where he wanted to be.

Since coming back to the pub I've been feeling weird again. I feel like there's something here. I can't say if it's male or female. I feel like my senses have been totally messed up but I desperately feel there's still something here, there's something still watching me, still giving me goosebumps and is now, firmly placed in the living room. I feel like the living room itself has lost it's colour. It feel's cold and shaded I guess. So I confronted Matt about it tonight. But he feels nothing. He's saying he isn't trying to protect me this time, he just genuinely doesn't see or feel anything and he's insistent that Alf has well and truly gone! So, I even went so far as to film 3mins of the livingroom earlier. The first 2 were of the area the kitten was playing in before, where we saw all the orbs, but I got nothing. Then I turned it towards the tv, where I feel the 'shade' the most (which is weird in itself because the tv is below the street window) and within about 18 seconds, this orb shoots up from the floor. I felt so sick I actually cried. I cried because of the way it made me feel and the added fear that I was the only one who knew it was here. Now matt is feeling helpless because he can see the orb clear as day on the video, but cant sense anything. What's happening to me? or him? I feel unbelievably alone and crazy right now and have no idea what to think. Sorry for my ramblings and apologies in advance if you can't help and I've wasted your time making you read all that. I just feel lost. Scared and lost with the fear that only some kind of 'spirit' knows what's happening to me.

Thanks for your time guys, any feedback would be greatly appreciated!!
Annie x

I should also add, the pub building has been here for over 150 years. However, the flat myself and my boyfriend live in was only added about 15-20years ago, it's like an extension on top of the original pub kitchen and the doorway and entrance is part of the original upstairs building.

Also, this is probably coinsidence, but the building is only about 20mins away from the house I grew up in, so I saw the building from the outside a couple of times when I'd go past it on a bus when I was a kid, but between the age of about 6-12 I'd have a reaccuring nightmare of being chased inside it with my cousin. Obviously now I live here I know the inside decor, look etc was different in my dream. But it would be one that would wake me up in tears and fear. I didnt really think anything of it until a few weeks ago when my mother mentioned the nightmares I used to have.

[Albalida]

It sounds to me like you have a horde of astral squatters where you live. If they're not affecting you positively, then you don't have to have them around. There are many ways to cleanse the space of influences, and strengthen your own spiritual energy so that they can't prey on you. It really depends on what you're most comfortable with doing about it, since it's looks like you're least comfortable with being watched and influenced in your own home(? Close enough to it,) without your permission, in not-nice ways.

[nama adrift]

welcome! i cant really help you with your situation, but i can say you are def not alone! i have my own issues with fear regarding the paranormal that i am working on moving through. i keep telling myself that the more you understand the less there is to fear.

as far as the being watched feeling, i used to get that all the time growing up. it was really creepy, and it didn't usually feel like something nice watching me. also, perhaps you are tapping into a part of yourself you haven't before and that is why you are so sensitive? perhaps you should revisit and reanalyze the things you saw as a child?

so this is a bit random, but have you ever considered that perhaps what you are feeling isn't a who, but maybe left over energy? if you live over a pub that has been in operation for over 150 years, people are bound to have left an imprint of some sort on the place. have you looked into its history? any sinister figures or deaths? gl w/ it, wish i could be more help.

[desertrat]

Welcome to the forum , I would say do some smudging , and maby get the place blessed , ect . If the bad guys dont move out find some where else to live . New age book stores close to you should have the sage for smudging . Smudge stick - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia desert rat

[Littlemissme]

Thanks so much for your replies guys. Im so confused about it all. Why did I start picking up on things when I started dating my boyfriend and why can I still feel things when he cant? I don't know if this is me doing it or whether it's him. Am I an empath or something? or being haunted? I'm freaking out! lol

It's not just the feeling of being watched, I can just feel something anyway. But there's a difference in how my body/mind reacts to each. I feel uncomfortable in the living room the majority of the time and have this weird way of being drawn to the tv area. But not drawn in a good way. A feeling that something is there and I shouldn't look. Then when I feel like I'm being watched, I get this stomach dropping sickness.

I've tried researching the pub but can't find anything before Alf owned it. All I know from family stories is that it was called The Commercial and Alf bought it in the late 70's. Postal Code is CF37 1SY if anyone wants to give it a shot!

Is there a psychic or something on here that can pick up on anything from my story? Who can maybe tell me what, if anything, is happening to me?

[desertrat]

Some people are more senstive than others. There could be a bunch of ghosts around me and I would never know it . On the pub , I would think there would be records of past owners . A ghost or neg. einity could be from any where tho. You might see if you can get some paranormal investigateors to check out the pub . When I could afford cable t.v. I liked to watch a program called most haunted . If they still do that you might get them do a t.v. show on your pub. More info on smudging New Age - 5 Tips for Smudging Your Home desert rat