hey - need a reading or advice on recurring dream. Help. drives me insane.

[nikodemija]

I'm writing because I'm getting obsessed and can't take off one person from my head. I have a long-term boyfriend for 5 years since i was 18 years old, but this spring we experienced some sort of crisis and I got depressed and went back home to have some long holidays apart. I met a guy, i was really attracted to, could not explain why or how it happened but the attraction was really massive, and i met him on couple of occasions, and on last time i met him i slept with him ,we both living in the same town, in london and i told him that he will not be able to see me again, because of my boyfriend. My behaviour was really weird, because it was my initiative i wanted to sleep with him( i never do that, like never) and now i have these recurring dreams about him how we are together, having fun, having romantic times, though not dreaming anything of erotic sort. So it drives me mad, because it seems i almost forget the guy, and kick him out of my head and surprise surprise next day i get the dream how we are enjoying each other company. So i really don't know is it a symbol of my guilt by unconcious, but i should dream something unpleasant in that situation i think, is it that i fell in love in wrong circumstances? But though i dont think that the guy i'm dreaming cares about me, because at none of the occasions he tried to contact me. Or it says that i have a wrong partner for life? Or what can it be and should i try to contact that guy myself? I would like to do it, but it just does not feel very right because of my boyfriend.

Thank you for your help.
Any advices/explanations/ideas how to calm myself down/get control and continue with my life?

[Taytertot]

Your infatuated, it seems to me its just a massive physical attraction. If you leave your boyfriend, and this guy turns out badly, your left with nothing. I would say stick with the boyfriend, and while you cant deny the attraction with this other guy, keep in mind it may only be temporary

[ALLisWELL]

hello nikodemija-
This may or may not be helpful, but I see that you are very distraught. Close your eyes and take as many long, slow deep breaths as you can. When you breath in, picture a calm, white light going all through the center of your body (like a skewer), feel it as it extends beyond the top of your head in one direction, and from beneath your torso in the other. Ok, when you are calm, and can truly feel calm, and collected, and able to organize your thoughts... ponder this: All of what you see is YOU. All of what you feel is YOU. Your reality is only a mirror- the experiences you have, the perceptions you form of everything, the emotions you feel, the things you admire or dispise in others- all of it is there to reflect back what you are at this point in time.

When there is something that attracts you to another, it is some aspect of yourself to which you are attracted, even if it is a negative belief you are working through. Our relationships with others of any degree only show us how we create our own suffering or unhappiness. For example, a person who is working in this life to overcome a fear of rejection (among other things) may find himself in relationships in which he becomes subservient in some way, subordinating his needs to the other half because he feels he must to avoid rejection. This will attract relationships with people who tend to be selfish or less-accomodating to him. Over time, a resentment will build because he has not let himself be himself for fear of rejection by the other, taking note of how he is putting in but not getting back. This pattern turns and turns again, until one day he realizes this fear of rejection and claims his own power, giving thanks to the experiences that had shown him his shadows. We develop our realities, not the other way around. As we define and redefine ourselves, so our world changes. The dream world is the same experience, only under the govern of a different set of laws. You see the same reflection of yourself, only in a less organized, less sensible manner. Dreams are about perception and emotion. Although the symbols are highly significant, focus on how you feel in the dream first, and then relate that to the symbols. I am not an expert on anything of which I write, including dreams, but a starting point may be to simply define what you like about this person. I know you said the attraction was strong, and that it also lacked reason in ways, but when you are calm and collected you may find certain truths. When you can define the attraction, you can understand yourself, and when you can understand yourself, you can understand your needs, and when you can understand your needs, you can discover your purpose, and when you discover your purpose, it all falls into place I think I can help further, but perhaps for now, just digest what I've said. I can't say whether or not you should pursue this person, but I do believe that the emotional responses we experience are the compass of life, and that joy is the desired direction. However, it is much more complicated than it sounds, because emotions are a very tricky language that don't always mean what they say if you translate them logically. Best of luck.