Do guides ever try to foil our plans?

[Lethalmind]

I've tried to kill myself 3 times in the last 2 weeks, and every time some obstacle gets put in the way.

First, I was going to fall through the thin ice and drown or freeze to death, but I freaked out too much and left the ice early. 3 minutes after I left the ice someone drove up to the lake, so even if I had fallen in someone would've been there to take me out of the water.

I made a second attempt today, but the ice was now too thick and there were people fishing on the lake that I was planning on using. Goddamnit, I was really counting on that. I really thought today was my last day. I'd prefer if people thought it was an accident, but I'll basically do anything if I end up desperate enough.

So, now I go to the kitchen to get a garbage bag to put over my head tomorrow and we're out of garbage bags. I could use some other plastic, but I was really counting on those garbage bags because they're bigger.

What the hell.

What if we really want to die? Are they just testing me to see how bad I want it?

[HiImJeremy]

Originally Posted by Lethalmind

I've tried to kill myself 3 times in the last 2 weeks, and every time some obstacle gets put in the way.

First, I was going to fall through the thin ice and drown or freeze to death, but I freaked out too much and left the ice early. 3 minutes after I left the ice someone drove up to the lake, so even if I had fallen in someone would've been there to take me out of the water.

I made a second attempt today, but the ice was now too thick and there were people fishing on the lake that I was planning on using. Goddamnit, I was really counting on that. I really thought today was my last day. I'd prefer if people thought it was an accident, but I'll basically do anything if I end up desperate enough.

So, now I go to the kitchen to get a garbage bag to put over my head tomorrow and we're out of garbage bags. I could use some other plastic, but I was really counting on those garbage bags because they're bigger.

What the hell.

What if we really want to die? Are they just testing me to see how bad I want it?

I'm sorry to hear this, my friend.

I won't ask 'why' for you don't need my pity - but i will counter with a question -

What don't you have to live for?

That being said, in relation to your question about guides - they may or may not play a part. You'd have to ask them. I'm sure they'd be out of a job if they let you go too soon lol.

[Lukas]

This may not fit with your model with reality, but I tell you anyway, since it's my experience.

When you die you have the opportunity to come back into a slightly different parallel reality where you are alive and don't remember the interaction on the other side. All you probably will get is that you feel a bit different and that you survived something barely and wonder how you could get out of it. Many people already have died, probably several times, they just come back because this is such an important lifetime to them.

If you want to quit your life because it doesn't make sense to you, I was there several times, not really doing, but wanting. You came here for a reason, some of them are surprises you have thought out for yourself. If you are now at this desperate point you already are almost through the worst.

If you want to make more sense for where you are talk to me soon.

[Lethalmind]

Originally Posted by HiImJeremy

What don't you have to live for?

That being said, in relation to your question about guides - they may or may not play a part. You'd have to ask them. I'm sure they'd be out of a job if they let you go too soon lol.

God, way too many things. My life is decaying before my eyes. My money is running out, the job I wanted will not sustain me, and on top of that I'm schizophrenic so I have lots of psychological issues going on. I can't see myself at a regular job because I can't stand people and that'll kill me just as quickly. I'm also getting kicked out of my home in 3 months.

I don't want to see where I'm going to be in that time.

I have to work twice as hard as most people just for a bag of ♥♥♥♥, and I'm ready to just drop it completely. Not worth working this hard just to barely keep my head above water. Most of my life is just suffering anyway.

However, I decided last night not to kill myself over the holidays for family's sake. Christmas is my favorite time of the year anyway, so I'll tough it out until the beginning of January. Do some intense meditation until then. Hopefully it'll give me some kind of direction or inner peace. If not, oh well; I can just say I tried that much more.


10% of me wants to stay and 90% wants to intensely die. Maybe it's me who keeps sabotaging myself. I'm so picky with how I want to kill myself and also a little bit fearful at the moment of truth. I've asked them almost every day for the last 2 weeks and they say it's up to me.

I might only be hearing what I want to hear though. I'm not really willing to listen to any other advice than 'Go ahead with it.' That's asking me to just sit here and suffer like this for another 50 years. What's worse is it's only going to get worse.

[Midnite]

Originally Posted by Lethalmind

I have to work twice as hard as most people

Why are you comparing yourself to 'most people'?

I'm not really willing to listen to any other advice than 'Go ahead with it.' .

Not to sound too detached from Life itself but I doubt anybody on this forum is prepared to tell you 'Go ahead with it'. You just so happened to stumble across the Psychic & Paranormal subforum, which is really great because a few people here probably know more about death than they do about life hahaha j/k.

To answer your question; yes spirit guides like to meddle with things. And if I was your spirit guide you would find yourself magically tied to your bed when you woke up one morning!

Any chance you want to live for one more year? A lot of surprises in store for next year, being the Year of the Dragon and all.

[Lethalmind]

Originally Posted by Midnite

Any chance you want to live for one more year? A lot of surprises in store for next year, being the Year of the Dragon and all.

Not a pickled chance in hell.

I'm having a hard time wanting to be here one more month let alone another year.

And how do you know?

[Minerva]

Just curious Midnite, but I thought spirit guides don't want to meddle due to the concept of free will. It is his choice to commit suicide or not. The spirit guides would not intervene with that choice??

[Silwer]

I wanted to kill myself once in my life, I ended up in a psychiatric hospital and had one of the best times in my life (seriously) someone will always have a worse life then you and still keep on living, when you are past the worst you might even look back at this time and think that maybe it wasn't so big after all. No matter what happens, life is always good as long as you're alive... especially after you've fallen soo low you have nothing to loose.
just take deep breaths and you'll realize that you are free. :3

I could also ask you this, what is it that you are so afraid of that you want to end it here?

I guess cuz you said you might live another 50 years that you are still quite young, guess what... my life was hell maybe only 2 years ago (actually that was the worst time the whole period of awfulness lasted for maybe 4 or five and i'm 21) now it is completely awesome. You can never predict the future and by ending your life you will never find out if it will ever get better or not.

This is what came to my mind when I read your post, but in the end the decision of what to do is yours.

But if you believe in reincarnation/karma and such you might not get away so easily. If you failed this far, maybe you are not meant to die just yet...

I also agree with Midnite, next year is probably going to be something awesome :3

[desertrat]

If you are looking at this from the point of view of your guides , why would they want you to kill your self ? If it is there job to protect you , and they dont , then they have failed . I think a lot of us have been to that point at one time , its either a bag , some pills or a .45 . Most of us think things through and decide not to , as for me I found reasons to live . What ever your problems are you can work them out . desert rat

[thematrix]

can i just add something here but before i do let me tell you all im no psychic but have been told i am a very strong psychic i have heard thing and seen things i cant explain but that aside lets get our feet back onto planet earth as far as spirit guides ok they protect you all your life cool i agree as far as killing yourself i dont agree what gives someone the right to take their life and destroy it when someone or thing or energy has gave you that life to use wisely

2nd i always say this to people who are feeling down trapped low self harm killing themselves i say this "THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD YOU CANNOT FIX" by that i mean anything can be sorted out no matter what it is give any exaple of a situation that you think you have to kill yourself over and i bet there is a way of fixing it without death ok but its easy to say ok ill kill myself or ill run away or ill cause this or that ... wrong answer FIX IT that way its alot easier to live your life you was given hope this help you out a bit im not trying to put you down just trying to let you see things a different way

psychic from the Greek psychikos—"of the mind, mental") is a person who professes an ability to perceive information hidden from the normal senses

[HiImJeremy]

Originally Posted by Minerva

I thought spirit guides don't want to meddle due to the concept of free will. It is his choice to commit suicide or not. The spirit guides would not intervene with that choice??

This is a good question. I think free will is tricky. Look at how T.V, Magazines, Music, Politics and Movies are influencing your free will every day. We come across this idea that somehow our lives aren't influenced or controlled at all when, if we step back a bit and look closer - we're being influenced ALL the time.

In the way of 'guides' you could be right there. I have witnessed just with myself - having my higherself influence my thoughts and actions. It's a subtle sensation. I think we overestimate our ability to choose what we do with our lives. That being said - they could be trying to subtly influence this gentlemans thoughts and actions. He said himself, there's 10% of him that still wants to live which means there's still something there for him to cling on to.

[Midnite]

Originally Posted by Lethalmind

And how do you know?

I have been hearing messages about 2012 since I was 15 years old, well before all this Mayan crap came aboard. A lot of spiritual unlocking, whole new perspectives, lost abilities re-ignited, etc, etc, etc. I was also born in the year of the Dragon, so this kind of thing only comes around every 12 years or so.

It's kind of like you want to leave just before all the fun begins.

Originally Posted by Minerva

Just curious Midnite, but I thought spirit guides don't want to meddle due to the concept of free will. It is his choice to commit suicide or not. The spirit guides would not intervene with that choice??

haha tell that to my spirit guides. They push and pull me into directions so hard and so fast, there are entire blocks of my life that I felt I didn't have a single shred of control whatsoever. As Jeremy is saying as well, there are so many physical and environmental influences that alter our decisions, all the way to extensive product marketing campaigns telling us how to best part with our money, what is stopping the spiritual from joining the list? Everything else seems to be more than happy telling us what to do.

[hazelfern]

Originally Posted by Lethalmind

However, I decided last night not to kill myself over the holidays for family's sake. Christmas is my favorite time of the year anyway, so I'll tough it out until the beginning of January. Do some intense meditation until then. Hopefully it'll give me some kind of direction or inner peace. If not, oh well; I can just say I tried that much more.

10% of me wants to stay and 90% wants to intensely die. Maybe it's me who keeps sabotaging myself. I'm so picky with how I want to kill myself and also a little bit fearful at the moment of truth. I've asked them almost every day for the last 2 weeks and they say it's up to me.

I might only be hearing what I want to hear though. I'm not really willing to listen to any other advice than 'Go ahead with it.' That's asking me to just sit here and suffer like this for another 50 years. What's worse is it's only going to get worse.

First, the fact that you are here, posting, asking for advice, tells me that part of you hasn't accepted that you want to die. If you had accepted that decision fully I suspect you would be quietly making plans and not looking for approval or a way to talk yourself out of your decision.

Next, the fact that you have family that you don't want to hurt by your death tells me that you have people who you care about and who probably care about you. They may also need you around, even if it's just to be around you. When you die, will you cause them pain similar to what you are going through right now? Do you want to cause that much pain for someone else that you care about?

And as for asking you to stay around and suffer for the next 50 years, then yes, that could make death seem preferable. Instead, how about asking you to stay around for one more day. Just look at how to get through today and let tomorrow take care of itself. And when tomorrow gets here you can focus on just getting through one more day. Sometimes just getting through one day at a time can make it easier to face the challenges ahead of you.

I also feel that you are not as alone as you think you are and that there are many people who would give you a hand, if you are willing to ask. In the end, either way that you choose will be your decision, I just hope you allow yourself to find the people who can and will help you to get through this time.

And you are not alone in the pain you feel or having to struggle to get through life. Life can be hard and seem like it's not worth it. You can see others who seem to float through life while you struggle to just climb up the first step. It isn't fair but that's how life is sometimes. And sometimes the pain can be a constant background noise for years and you can still find a way to make it through to better things.

I wish you luck and I hope you find answers that lead you to stay with life. It feels like you have wonderful things to do if you can just make it through this current challenge.

[Aingeal]

Originally Posted by Lethalmind

I've tried to kill myself 3 times in the last 2 weeks, and every time some obstacle gets put in the way.

First, I was going to fall through the thin ice and drown or freeze to death, but I freaked out too much and left the ice early. 3 minutes after I left the ice someone drove up to the lake, so even if I had fallen in someone would've been there to take me out of the water.

I made a second attempt today, but the ice was now too thick and there were people fishing on the lake that I was planning on using. Goddamnit, I was really counting on that. I really thought today was my last day. I'd prefer if people thought it was an accident, but I'll basically do anything if I end up desperate enough.

So, now I go to the kitchen to get a garbage bag to put over my head tomorrow and we're out of garbage bags. I could use some other plastic, but I was really counting on those garbage bags because they're bigger.

What the hell.

What if we really want to die? Are they just testing me to see how bad I want it?

Lethalmind,

I just want to say how sorry I am, to hear that you would rather take your own life than live in this one......

I'm so sad for you, {that isn't pity by the way} that you feel death is your best option. I can’t imagine feeling that empty & alone.

I think the fact that you care enough about your family, to give them the holidays & Xmas, means that you are a loving considerate person at heart.

It seems to me that you must be close with your family, so I am sure they would be devastated if something were to happen to you.

I don't think enough people that end their own lives, really give a lot of thought to what their friends and family will go through. “ The pain, hurt & especially the guilt.” A lot of family members & friends can't get past the feeling that it's somehow their fault, they did something wrong, or if they had done something differently, they could have somehow saved the victim.
It’s sad :-( When really if a person feels that there's not enough good things in their life to live for, they are going to attempt to take their own life no matter what...... They may or may not succeed.

I did however find something out last night...... {I went to a world renowned psychic/medium’s live show}. I learnt that if you commit suicide and it wasn’t in the master plan, in other words “you weren’t supposed too” if/when you reincarnate you most probably will again eventually try to commit suicide in another life. “That reality is even more depressing”

Last night I watched a woman get a reading, and connect with her teenage daughter who had passed. It was so emotional and extremely moving.
The mum felt somehow that she was responsible for what the daughter had done. That she could have prevented it. Her daughter reassured her that it was her decision, and nothing her Mum could’ve done would have changed the outcome. She told her not to feel any blame & she was sorry for everything her family had been going through. I'm sure that was of great relief to her mother. I think now that her mum will be able to start to get on with her life again & finally be happy one day.

Please don’t feel that I am judging you or trying to guilt you into not ending your life. That is definitely not my intention.
I just wanted you to see things from a different perspective.

I feel everything happens for a reason, there was a reason for me to be at the live show and be sitting next to the lady that had the reading. There was a reason for me to come on this site today, and the first post I see was yours.

I’m not a psychic, nor can I tell you that good things are going to happen for you soon, but I really believe that the hard times can’t last forever & if you can just manage to hold on and get through just one day at a time the good times will come.

I really hope that you reconsider what you want to do, but if not, I hope that if you do eventually succeed, you finally find the peace you so desperately seek.

My deepest regards...........

[aussiegirl]

Lethalmind, I empathise with the wish to be free of the mental torture, anguish and turmoil that goes with a life where there is lots of mental suffering, as I am going through that now and I know that behind it all, is just a wish to be free of the mental pain.

However, may I put it two you two ways, actually three:-

1) As the Buddhists say, stop resisting the suffering, stop saying and beating yourself up for feeling so bad, and say, yeah, life is s*it and it may be s*it for a while, but I have a choice to go on, even with the pain, because life didn't come with a guarantee of no suffering.

Others may not like you, because they want you to put on a happy face, but feel the feeling and go on with life, anyway. It's called "opposite to emotion" action. Just try it. Do something for someone else that feels the complete opposite of how you are feeling, even just a small thing that doesn't cost anything, like giving someone a smile, or a flower or a kind gesture. It will feel like lifting emotional lead, but it's great in that it kind of builds up "emotional muscle" after a time and does wonders for your soul and self-esteem and you don't know who you may "touch" in your life that makes you just being alive on this planet worthwhile! Remember, as it was said above, it is only today we have to get through.

2) Is it possible, that your medication is not working, or needs adjustment and you really need better or additional medical help? (Don't forget Lifeline - the U.S. equivalent, is there 24/7 as with all the billions of people on this planet you are not the only one feeling this way, despite feeling like you are!). Consider even joining some kind of support group in your community for people with your illness(-es). Connection with people who are real life, real time, 3D, not just a computer, and who are non-judgemental, is important. This time of the year is one of the toughest for people.

3) O.K., you feel like you want to die, but look at it another way - look at death in a metaphorical way. When you hit rock bottom, I think that perhaps you are right that yes, a part of you has to die, and that is a part of you that is looking at things this way and have been for so long that it is entrenched, that is going to require such a radical shift, that you will feel like you have died, just like there is a new season of growth after fall (Autumn). So I think deep down, you know that you DO want to live, but that means that a huge part of you is going to have to die, in order for you to live and look at things and come up with your OWN solutions, because only YOU know what is best for you.

So what part of you is the part that you want to shed, like a snake shedding the dead skin - You may think it is strange, but the part of you that wants to die actually shows self-love, because you don't want to suffer anymore, just like you would not want anything or anyone to suffer, and that can only be a good thing. What am I saying? Yep, CHANGE of any kind (of thinking, or doing, etc) is like death. The old pattern of thought or doing things must die and THAT has got to be painful, even if in your case, you are struggling with changing your thoughts so that you want to live again.

Lastly, let me leave you with this thought and again, I should know, really hard to do, but if you think of your best friend or someone who you really loved and cared about and they felt exactly like you did in that you can imagine they are suffering as much as you are, would you really tell them to end their life?

Lethalmind, the take home message is that just as you would not want your loved ones to suffer, take that love and give it to yourself in spades. Look after and nourish yourself in other ways. It is hard, because you feel like you want to beat yourself up, but you wouldn't beat anyone else up, like the Buddha, you would be compassionate to others suffering, so give that to yourself. So please, have some self-compassion and self-love.

[desertrat]

Lethalmind do the medatation to get to what ever is trapped making you feel bad , if you kill your self you will only haft to come back and do this all over again . I will post more if asked . desert rat

[Minerva]

Thanks Jeremy and Midnite for your explanation! I understand now

[DarkTears]

Lethalmind............ are u still around?

[desertrat]

It is my hope that leathlmind is getting help some where and did not use the bag , or jump into the icy water . desert rat