|11-24-2011, 02:41 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2009
Empath In Need of Help
I am not sure if this is the right place to post this or really what my question is, but I am pretty lost, so maybe someone will offer a bit of advice and I can start heading in the right direction.
Bit of background to start. I think I am an empath on some level, but pretty much uncontrolled and fairly ignorant (only figured this out about 2 yrs ago). I have had a lifelong issue with chronic pain and muscle tension, and while I have learned to get that mostly under control, being around severely stressed, anxious, or sick people can cause me problems. I have learned some ways of de-stressing and removing that, but I am not good at reading signs early on. I tend to get swallowed up and after the fact trying to recover. I also have a tendency to draw people to me. Everyone comes to me to talk about their problems, which I love helping them with, but its a balancing act to try and stay healthy.
So here is the current issue. My brother (who also suffers from some level of chronic fatigue/pain issues....but I think for different reasons), seems to be falling fast. Bipolar runs in our family, he has always managed to maintain without prescription meds, but he does run a bit on the hyper side. He has had a bad couple of years financially and emotionally, and currently he is at rock bottom. I hadn't been around him much lately, mostly just phone conversations, his 'hyper' side tends to leave me pretty drained.
Well, 2 weeks ago he contacts me needing money before being evicted. I help him out as he has never had this issue before and I know work wise he has had trouble. I meet up with him to give him money and immediately I am worried. Couple more times around him to help him pack and clear house, and I know he is either in full blown mania or he is on drugs.
I would have never thought him to turn to drugs, he has always been very against anything other then weed, but he is obviously a mess right now. He is constantly moving and talking, he is scattered, sleeping less, its not good. I would say its just mental health issues, but his behavior leads me to worry about drugs as well (lying, contradictory events, etc). He is still working (I think), so my goal has been to get him out of his house and financial obligations this month, and then we can either get him in treatment or counseling/meds (once I can get him to admit to something).
I am one of the only people in the family he trusts anymore, so I have been walking a fine line of staying in his confidence so he doesn't disappear completely (I have stopped any financial help once I thought drugs could be an issue). He knows I think something is up, but he won't admit to drugs or mental issues out of his control at this point. I also worry about suicide to a degree, I already lost one brother to this, so I am needless to say stressed.
So ALL that, and here is a couple questions I have.
When I have been around him, I sometimes start shivering and shuddering uncontrollably. At first I chalked it up to working outside in the garage, but I saw him again last night and instantly I started shivering intensely. So much so I could barely talk on the phone with someone my teeth were chattering so bad. The first time it happened it took hours for me to warm up after leaving.
Could this shivering/cold indicate anything in particular? Give me a clue as to what he is dealing with so I can help him?
Secondly, does anyone have any advice in the short term to help me deal with this around him. I want to help him as much as possible, but I am starting to find it really hard to spend long periods of time around him.
Any other thoughts would be appreciated. I am at a bit of a loss right now.
|11-24-2011, 03:35 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2010
You might be an empath , or just know these people have problems . For stress you might try yoga, medatation , breath work , ect. On your brother , you can care for him , but unless he wants help , I dont know if there is much any one could do . You might ask him if he would take some yoga clases with you . desert rat
|11-26-2011, 06:31 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: QLD Australia
I'm sorry, I can't actually offer you any useful advice, I really don't know enough. Just wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you & I hope everything turns out ok, for you & your brother.
My prayers are with you....... Take care
|11-26-2011, 09:22 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2008
Hi emeadow -
I am sorry for what your brother is going through - and I agree with desertrat that until brother wants help, there is not much you can do (Unless you fear suicide, then seek help on his behalf please!)
However, if you are an empath (and most of the human race is) - it sounds like you are absorbing too much disharmonious external energies.
Recommend: Shielding | Metaphysical-Studies.com
This is a shielding (protection) podcast (free). Feel free to adjust it to fit you. This may help with buffering you from others intense or disharmonious energies.
I hope this helps.
|12-01-2011, 12:25 AM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2011
Location: South Africa
Hi Erin. You're probably right about your brother's drug abuse. When people use drugs, they pick up crazy stuff from the etheric and these things do jump like fleas from one person to another, so it may well be what happens with your brother, also because you're related and you love him.
Because you're so sensitive (and some people/empaths are much more than others) you have a very strong reaction to what's going on in his field. It's not really something you need to fear; attachments are most often more uncomfortable than harmful in the short run. Some ways to get rid of these things would include grounding and consciously connecting with the earth's magnetic field (Lying down for a while on the ground, preferably outside if you can, with your arms and legs stretched out; if the sun is out it's even better), and/or take a hot bath with a handful of Epsom salts (make sure to soak for about 20 mins or till you feel calmer). Drink a lot of water - no, without the salts! - as it is a crystal with well known cleansing properties. Sometimes having something like an obsidian crystal close to you helps a lot, specially when you're with the person that affects you.
Unless you're qualified, there's not anything you can do to help your brother besides praying and asking for help from whoever you invoke. For empaths, a strong connection with the Divine is important - you are often aware of problems way beyond your scope of ability to help. Are you familiar with Most Benevolent Outcomes-requests? See the thread here, it's a simple but powerful way to ask assistance from archangelic beings and also to clear your own field. I can vouch for it's efficacy. However, the idea is that you connect strongly with the Divine, so use whichever method/way of talking or connecting works best for you. Blessings!
|12-13-2011, 06:40 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2011
I can tell you that while under assessment for bipolar, the medication I was given made me tremble a little and my teeth involuntarily chatter. Which is the same effect I would get off certain types of 'street' drugs I stupidly tried many years ago. Maybe this is what you're picking up on.
|12-13-2011, 07:39 PM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2011
Wow! It's possible you're picking up on his mania and feelings of instability. Have you spoken to him about how he feels? When I had clinicals in the psych ward I use to get overwhelmed, feel shaky, and just really unstable whenever around people experiencing mania.
Last edited by Prinie; 12-13-2011 at 07:42 PM.
|12-14-2011, 07:10 PM||#10 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2008
If you think he is on drugs you are most likely right. I am not sure what you can do about it though, we found out my little brother was on drugs this year (herion) and he passed away two weeks ago. We did everything to make sure he was not doing them anymore, kept him with us all the time, had him working at the family business but it did not work. He was not a bad guy, just had a problem. Drugs are dangerous and I hope your brother is not on them
|12-14-2011, 08:52 PM||#11 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Talequah, OK
my friend, I went through the same thing as your brother in 1999. exhibited the same symptoms. I was never on drugs until given bi-polar drugs when the Divine intervened down the road. the main thing i think you "feel" from your loved one is fear. he is scared. not sure who to trust, not sure where to turn. if you can just maintain contact with him, let him know you love him and are by his side as much as possible. take care of yourself though. we are here for ya
|12-16-2011, 05:15 AM||#12 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Self-Healing Chronic Pain & Your Questions
This post is interesting to me. I am definitely empathic.
I also am nearing the end of healing chronic pain in my own body. It has been an intensive inner and outer healing process! Cutting gluten/white sugar/most caffeine from my diet has really, really, really helped me and others. I tried it for a week and felt great, then ate some bread, and my body was debilitated overnight! I cut the gluten and sugar out again, and felt my body begin to recover within two days.
The other thing is working with trigger points. There is a book called the Trigger Point Therapy Workbook, written by a man who used to tune pianos and who found himself slowly losing muscle movement and living in great pain. He discovered it was connected to the trigger points and began healing himself with massage. This has been very effective for me.
The third thing was looking at my rest and relaxation habits, because I had a tendency to overwork without breaks, which my body needs. Of course, my pain was also connected to repetitive stress injury from my job as a typist, so there may be some differences for you.
I do not know if anything that worked for me will help you, but I remember how awful that pain feels, and so I wanted to let you know about these simple, but very effective, things in case it would benefit you, too.
Ah, and the fourth thing was letting go of a lot of deep-held painful emotions. One day during meditation, a very strong emotion came up. My body had been feeling great, but as soon as that emotion entered, it seized up, and all the physical pain was reactivated and seemed to glow more brightly for a spell, then released after I released the emotion. I was amazed to watch that correlation happen, because I had read in Louise Hay about the connection between physical and emotional pain.
So on to what you really asked about…
I hear that the shivering may be you plugging into his sense of "gripping fear" and "separation from warmth"
I see you building a crystalline shield around yourself every day until you feel free from your brother's influence. It is like a multi-faceted, clear crystal, that allows in loving light and filters out everything else so you can live in freedom. You'll still be able to serve but won't take on ♥♥♥♥ that is not yours, to put it politely.
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