Karma and abuse

[tjkk]

After reading through some of the threads I am trying to understand more about the relationship between karma and abuse. I read in one post that a woman was abused because she had abused others in a previous lifetime. As someone that has dealt with being in an abusive relationship, and still working on forgiveness and letting go, I would hate to think that I had done this to someone else at some point.

So...does abuse happen in response to us abusing others in a previous life? How can we find out if this is true, and what we have done is previous lives? How can we ask for forgiveness for actions in a previous life, and how can we forgive the abuser in this life (without having to communicate with them). I'm also curious about how this idea relates to children that have been abused. I find it difficult to think that children are being abused as a result of karma.

Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated, thanks!

[nothuman]

Hi. Sometimes I think karma can be used by as a bit of a dumping ground for all the stuff that happens that the mind can't compute.
I am sure in reaching to the human experience we have our own agendas to work through but I would doubt that a karmic stocktake isn't about to happwn for most of us in this life.
Best thing is as you become conscious of behavioural patterns of abuse etc you are then in a position to change them. I was abused as a child but at this point I certainly don't view myself as a victim any longer and I have never raised a finger to my kids. Life does provide opportunities of change.

[desertrat]

The thing to do is find out what is there in past lives and let it go. Wether it is hurt , fear , beliefs , ect. desert rat

[Erin Pavlina]

If you hurt others, your karma is to learn kindness, not to be hurt.

[bluestar]

Originally Posted by tjkk

After reading through some of the threads I am trying to understand more about the relationship between karma and abuse. I read in one post that a woman was abused because she had abused others in a previous lifetime. As someone that has dealt with being in an abusive relationship, and still working on forgiveness and letting go, I would hate to think that I had done this to someone else at some point.

So...does abuse happen in response to us abusing others in a previous life? How can we find out if this is true, and what we have done is previous lives? How can we ask for forgiveness for actions in a previous life, and how can we forgive the abuser in this life (without having to communicate with them). I'm also curious about how this idea relates to children that have been abused. I find it difficult to think that children are being abused as a result of karma.

Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated, thanks!

If reincarnation is a fact (it might be -I keep an open mind about that possibility) -then it won't be as simple as that.
I realize a Soul is a Soul, whether it be in a child's body or an adult's body...but my gut feeling CANNOT compute that abuse and torture, etc happens to those Souls who have inflicted it on others.
There has to be some other mechanism at work. I think we are inclined to over simplify the mysteries of the universe to fit our man-made philosophies, however old and revered!

[TuningIn]

Abuse is a matter of opinion. I'm not being religious at all, but think about the life of "Jesus". He was abused nearly in all respects, yet at the same time, he was given respect by all, even his enemies at certain times, when he captivated their carnal minds with his words of spiritual significance, or his miracles, yet they still all turned against him, and crucified him.

Abuse of any sort, is never viewed by me personally as anything personal. I tend to always view people's hostility towards me, as their way of dealing with their fear, in that I know them, and they for a moment see it. They do not know why they are so hostile towards me at times, but I laugh quietly to myself during the times that they turn and say, "Help me please" often sharing with me, the very core problem that they have in dealing with life.

Those who are in the light, are hated by those in the darkness, for the light hurts their eyes, yet, those in the dark yearn to see. It is a love/hate relationship, and yet, it's really about the ablity to perceive, and the inability.

[tjkk]

Thank you for all of your replies, I do appreciate it.

nothuman you're right in that there is a learning experience in all of this, it has definitely brought a new perspective and elevated consciousness about how my behaviour impacts others.

Erin, it is almost relieving to hear that our karma is to learn kindness. However it still makes me wonder about why people get abused.

TuningIn...I am very reluctant to think that abuse is not personal. I understand your point about abusers committing acts of violence (emotionally, physically, sexually, etc.) because of their own issues, however when it is inflicted on another person it becomes personal. Particularly when it has a lasting and devastating impact on another person. Your point leaves out the psychological impact of abuse, the cycle of abuse, and why it is so difficult for people to get out of such situations. While it is easy to walk away from someone who makes a mean remark and understand it originates in their own insecurities...the same logic does not help with healing from rape, physical violence, depression, destroyed self-esteem, etc.

In addition to my own experience, and after watching so many educated, intelligent, loving and kind women go through this, we are always left with the same question: why? and why me?

[Erin Pavlina]

People get abused because the abuser has an issue or problem and the abused allows it to happen.

[Midnite]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

People get abused because the abuser has an issue or problem and the abused allows it to happen.

I am in complete unison with this.

Originally Posted by tjkk

I'm also curious about how this idea relates to children that have been abused. I find it difficult to think that children are being abused as a result of karma.

Why? Is it too farfetched to believe that those who have abused a child in a previous life will have the afflicting circumstance mirrored upon their childhood in a future life?

We live in an existence bound by a Duality and nobody on this planet is truly innocent. We have a wonderful way of romanticizing life, and often overlook the most ugly of circumstances if that means the continuation of our idealistic dream.