No confidence: my heart says "yes" but my mind says "no"

[arpee]

What do I do in a situation like this? There is this person that I really want to talk to and I feel the impulse to talk to this person. I can feel the emotion strongly, but then my mind comes up with these worst case scenarios and then I get scared to say anything. "What if it sounds too gay?", "No one knows I'm gay so I have to be careful of what I say around others", "What if I seem like a weirdo because we haven't talked in a long while". I take my mind off the thought, and I focus on the positive but my mind keeps being scared of what the consequences, while my heart says "go do it!".

I would be so happy, if I could learn to trust my heart/emotions more than my mind/thoughts. It would be so nice if I only expected the best.

I know I shouldn't care about others responses, and I truly don't. I don't care, except for this situation...

To make it even worse, this person made a new Facebook and I said "Universe, if there is still a connection there between me and this person, I want them to add ME", and even though we didn't talk in a long while, what do you know? He adds me. He even messaged me asking how I been and that we need to hang it because it's not the same without me. However, we had that conversation a while ago and it's been a while since we talked again.

What do you think of this?

[Yazkin]

Listen to your gut, then follow the others that agree (mind or heart). There is nothing too complicated about this.

And you play Gaia? I do too

[mallie]

Hi Arpee,

You are in a classic battle between your ego and your intuition and it looks like your ego is winning. This is not good because obviously your intuition (which speaks thru your feelings is saying go for it).

Also, not only are you getting signs that this is right - men find it VERY refreshing when a woman approaches them. I am a very assertive person and if I see a guy I want to meet or feel strongly about I will either meet them or tell them how I feel. I have never had it back fire WHEN it is my intuition speaking thru me - if it is the ego guiding then you might not have as much luck. But I say go for it - your guidance seems to be telling you to go for it as well!

Also, read my new thread and it will help you as well. Here is the link. Are you giving up your good ideas? The battle between your ego and your intuition

[arpee]

The only thing is that I'm gay so I worry about what I say around other guys. It makes things harder.

[mallie]

Hi arpee

What I said applies whether you are gay, bi, heterosexual or polyamorous. Your intution is going to be the best thing to listen to in matters of the heart. When you speak from your heart (and not from your ego) and you are acting on what your intuition tells you to do - you really can't go wrong. Your intuition/feelings will guide you as to what to say and when to say it.

You can also call upon the romance angels to help you in this situation and to guide you and give you courage to speak up and go for it. All you have to do is either write out what you want to say to the angels and say it every day or just speak to them like you would a friend and tell them you want some help, wisdom and courage if this person is the right person for you. You will then receive not only some strong urges and nudges, but you will find that the angels will start to arrange it so that you will bump into this person more often and at just the right time!

[arpee]

Yes, thanks for your advice. I just got finished telling the angels about the situation. I was talking to two, one was my guardian and the other is Eros the Greek God of Romance and Passionate Love. I'm sure they heard my request and I hope to see some changes.

And I anticipate, us meeting up.

Remember, I asked the universe a while ago that if there is a deep connection between me and him, then he would ask to be MY friend on Facebook, even though me and him didn't talk in forever, and he did. So I took it as a sign i anticipate more good things happening.

[Le Roi]

Tell your mind to shut the hell up this time and go with your heart.

That's of course much easier said than done.

Ask yourself:
What is the worst that could happen? Could I live with it?

What is the best, most amazing thing that could happen? How wonderful would that be?

Am I willing to give up the best possible case scenarios in case the worst does happen?

If the answer is no, then you know what to do.
If the answer is yes, then it's time to work on reducing the worst case scenarios to something that you can live with. That may include addressing limiting beliefs that surrounds being gay and having other people find out your are gay and attracted to them. It's doesn't have to be the end of the world if you like someone, tell them, and have them tell you they don't like you. If it feels that way though, it's definitely something that you can change through inner work.

Thus, to answer your question, totally go for it. Connect with this guy, talk to him. If you like him, and he doesn't like you, great! You've found out, and you can free yourself to move on to someone else that may be a good match to you instead of forever being stuck and wondering about this guy.

[arpee]

Le Roi, you just made me realize something. The worst case scenario is that he reacts badly and tell everyone if he finds out I'm gay. Even if that is the case, it would actually help me come out to people. So, the best case scenario is what I want, but the consequences of the worse case scenario is also a part of what I want - to come out to others. So it works out either way. I didn't realize that until now. I think I am ready to come out! I'm going to do a bit more affirmations but I feel like I'm getting closer.

[arpee]

I really wish that I already could see the outcome though. Like psychic advice or something.

[little missy]

You should be proud of the person you are!!!!
Don't let other peoples opinions get in the way.
He contacted you through Facebook, that is a 'sign from above' that contact should be made
Be confident don't let your mind mess with your heart, trust in yourself.

Originally Posted by arpee

Le Roi, you just made me realize something. The worst case scenario is that he reacts badly and tell everyone if he finds out I'm gay. Even if that is the case, it would actually help me come out to people. So, the best case scenario is what I want, but the consequences of the worse case scenario is also a part of what I want - to come out to others. So it works out either way. I didn't realize that until now. I think I am ready to come out! I'm going to do a bit more affirmations but I feel like I'm getting closer.

[Le Roi]

Originally Posted by arpee

Le Roi, you just made me realize something. The worst case scenario is that he reacts badly and tell everyone if he finds out I'm gay. Even if that is the case, it would actually help me come out to people. So, the best case scenario is what I want, but the consequences of the worse case scenario is also a part of what I want - to come out to others. So it works out either way. I didn't realize that until now. I think I am ready to come out! I'm going to do a bit more affirmations but I feel like I'm getting closer.

That's awesome, that you've realized that your worst case scenario would actually be an improvement over your current situation!

You can also ask yourself what is the worst case scenario if everyone finds out about you being gay, and what is the best case scenario as well.

Wouldn't it be much easier for closet gays and other gays to find you and create connections with you if you lived openly as a gay person?