My boyfriend has passed on but left many secrets behind, how to seek closure?

[uhnoyouare]

My boyfriend of two years passed away from a bad case of double pneumonia this past week. During the funeral/wake I was introduced to his ex at first not knowing who he was by face but only by name. During his life my bf said he never spoke with his ex anymore. Once the ex and I started talking I learn that this isn't true...they were actually very much communicating again. We end up contacting each other later via phone and we share even more information realizing that he had been unfaithful to us both and untruthful yet we began piecing together half truths. As you can imagine this is very much emotionally charged...but during our convo his phone starts to flash and mute/unhurt his voice. He places the phone down on a table and starts the speaker phone yet the phone is still flashing and muting itself , even opening up other function like text and pictures...As you can imagine we were thinking he doesn't want this convo to happen, finally the phones disconnect and we are unable to call one another back.
I feel as though this could have been my ( our ) boyfriend trying to keep us from knowing one another. And also not revealing things he hid from each of us...
I am distraught and in dire need of some type of closure. I of course can't talk to my boyfriend in his Earthly form...but I constantly try to speak to him and wonder if he can answer me....if he can sense that I wish to get a sign from him of whether our relationship was real for him or not. If he can tell me why he was unfaithful and dishonest?
I've been used to grieving and close losses and I usually handle them in a fairly well manner. But his loss and these unanswered questions have caused me a great deal of pain...and hurt and I'm not sure I'll ever find the closure I want.

[Midniteshowers]

I can only imagine your feelings of hurt and betrayal, and I want to say that I am so sorry that you have to experience it. As I was reading your post, I, too thought that perhaps the phone was messing up because your bf did not want you to know the truth, and perhaps it is best left not knowing what really happened, that having fond memories of him rather than unanswerable questions is the best things right now to allow your heart to heal. If you do want to contact him, try asking him a few questions right before falling asleep, and keep a notebook and pen nearby so that when you wake up, you can write down any thoughts and dreams that you had and try and decipher the messages hidden within the dreams. Sometimes the deceased can communicate with us that way. Trying to move on with our lives is very difficult when we lose a loved one, especially when we find out that that person wasn't who they really portrayed themselves to be. The phone messing up shows that your BF dosent want you to be hurt by his mistakes, so I am sure that he cared and loved you. All that i can say is that we are all human, and therefor we all make mistakes, try to hold onto the fact that he did indeed love you, and try to remember all the good times that you shared. It seems imposable now, but, in time you will start to feel better and be able to move on. I wish you the best, Manda

[Alstar]

Really try and make an effort to hear him when you ask him questions. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for spirits who have recently died trying to contact the people they left behind. They can be screaming in our ears and we wouldn't know it. The best you can do is try and be receptive to what he's saying, and as recommended above the best way to contact him is through a dream.

[uhnoyouare]

I usually never remember my dreams strangely. Is there any way I can perhaps stimulate my mind and memory so that a dream will indeed be recallable?

When a person focuses on listening to a spirit is there any special manner in which to do so or am I simply to listen to them as best I can?

[Alstar]

For dream recall there are many methods to choose from. I guess if you've never done it before then just try using your intent and your drive. I'm assuming you've never taken up lucid dreaming or astral projection before. If you don't mind persisting for a while, you can learn this skill to enter the astral and talk to your boyfriend directly.

For listening to spirits, I don't know, I'm not psychic, and I can only hear my guide/s, not average spirits. I mostly recommended trying to listen so that your boyfriend wouldn't feel frustrated when trying to contact you, and also his messages can get through clearer (but maybe not on an entirely conscious level) the more emotionally and energetically receptive you are. It is possible for a non-psychic to hear spirits, but this is only a small window of opportunity as you are falling asleep/waking up. It requires precise timing.

[uhnoyouare]

Thanks to those who have responded for all of your help. I appreciate the information it gives me a little bit of hope that we can communicate again. I just hope I can say the right things.

[bluestar]

You know, sometimes our Earthly personalities end up doing things for reasons that seem best....but they are not necessarily agreed with by our Souls. Love is one of those things. Love in the personality can include many "white lies" and many secrets, and half-truths. But love in the Soul is purer. He may have loved you very deeply in his Soul, but got tangled to a certain extent by the things of everyday life.
Just send him your love. He will see things so very differently now. Love will melt all barriers. Love is the truth. He will feel your love and it will be a blessing for him.

And I'm very sorry for your loss

[uhnoyouare]

I'm very much saddened by these events and I appreciate the condolences. My spirit is aching and I want to go be with him. I speak to him and have taken the earlier advice offered and tried to focus on thinking of his love and trying to listen to him. Last night I got no sleep I kept waking up throughout the night. I wonder if he was trying to communicate with me? I couldn't really remember anything but wrote down what I could. It was all very fragmented and made no real sense.

Is there a better way to express my love and forgiveness so his spirit can be relieved? A spiritualist told me he is still present and is walking among us. So he is much closer right now since he hasn't passed on yet.

[Midniteshowers]

Trying to communicate with the deceased takes alot of patience. before bed, try to clear your mind, light a candle, put on some light music, and let your body relax. If you want, try writing him a letter. take about a half to a full hour of laying in bed, with your candle, music and thoughts. Remember, he is probably with you in the room, but you just cant see him anymore. The bits and pieces that you get out of your dreams every night are like a puzzle; The more pieces that you are able to remember every morning and write down, the easier the puzzle will start to take shape. Also, the better quality of sleep you get every night, the better the chances of being able to communicate.