lucid nightmare

[Strawberry]

I actually had this dream two years ago and haven't spoken about it because it freaked me out so much. This was my second lucid dream ever, when I first began learning how to do it.

It started out as a normal dream. In it I was back in middle school. Everyone knew the answers to the questions and I didn't. This was a time in my life that I first began to realize that I, too, was smart and just didn't give it much thought. I already get that the dream itself was speaking to my own insecurities about my intellectual ability. I am very good at interpreting my own dreams. I don't much buy into the idea that anyone else can do that for me.

But I do need help on what happened after I became lucid. Once I woke up in my dream I didn't change the dreamscape, even though I was aware that I could change things in my dream if I so desired. Instead, I decided to look for someone from this particular time/ place in my life; an old schoolfriend. (Why I didn't ask for this person to materialize in front of me, I suppose was due to lack of experience or complete conscious thinking/control).

I went around asking where this person was, not really knowing why I cared to see them, maybe just out of curiosity. Maybe part of me believes that I can actually reach out to that person in dreams and I wanted to see what that would be like. (And maybe having that person materialize in front of me would destroy the illusion/ notion that this is possible.) In any case, no one knew where he was. Finally, I was told by someone that I'd find what I was looking for in a room that I was shown.

The room was dark and I tried to turn on a light but the room stayed dark. I saw a "person" lying down in the middle of the room, on a bed (or maybe coffin?). I went up to him/her and woke them up. Slowly they rose but because there was no light I saw no face or other discernible features. Their clothes and body appeared to eerily absorb light rather than reflect it. I knew that in lucid dreams I could ask for clarity, so I directly asked this person to show his/her face. When they did, the only thing that showed were eyes, they emitted a bright light as well as intense emotions like fear rage, and loneliness among other things. The feeling that I immediately got was that I should wake up or this thing would take me over.

I can't quite grasp what I saw. Was it a part of me or from outside of me? I have always been on the fence about supernatural phenomena, but it scared the crap out of me so much that I still think about it so long after the fact. And because it was a lucid dream it was just as vivid as reality and made that much more of an impression on me. I have experienced lucid dreaming since this, but it has been by chance, not choice. I have consciously tried not to lucid dream for fear of having a similar experience, despite all of the reported benefits. Ironically, one of those benefits is conquering fears, supposedly because of the realization that we are safe within our dreams and can fully control them. But I did not, and could not control this and did not have that realization.

Lucid dreaming is something that I have always wanted to do. I am still curious about it and have conflicted feelings about it. I want to know how far my mind can take me, but at the same time I DON'T want to experience that again.

Anyone have any similar experiences, advice, or insight about what would have caused this to happen? Thank you to all who post.

[Midwinter Mist]

It definitely sounds like a strange dream and I'm trying to get my head around it, all the while reminding myself that dreams are just strange to begin with...

I'm first trying to bridge the fact that the person was fairly difficult to find and also hiding in the darkness, if you'd like. People couldn't locate this person as if he were 'lost'. The emotions you saw and felt in their eyes also fits with their surroundings and perhaps absorbing light could represent bringing others down with one's problems, thus absorbing the light from others, all the while taking whatever light they could through a need to light that darkness consuming them.

But, hey, what does this have to do with that person? Do you know of any connection? Did this friend ever have troubles, perhaps hidden at the time and based in school? Did you ever have problems with them?

Having said all of that, maybe there is a meaning but far from the obvious. For instance, in a lot of my up-to-date nightmares, I actually try to harm and kill the people I love most in this world. I still remember one of these nightmares where I was forcing scrunched up paper down my sister's throat and it was, typically, a lifelike dream. Just writing about it makes me feel sick. In the dream, quite obviously, I was trying to choke and suffocate her and she was crying with fear. I actually wish I didn't bring it up. Nevertheless, I'd never, ever, want to cause her harm, so the nightmare was both mentally damaging and so very, very strange to me. I just couldn't figure it out and I'm still not entirely sure what was behind it, though to some extent I do wonder if the dream was either an outlet of anger (one that was used on her as I have agoraphobia and don't see other people often, thus I take a lot out in the home) or a sign that I was in some way 'silencing' her in life.

One thing with lucid dreaming, though, is that it tends to hold the answers right with the questions, which you probably know. With enough awareness within the dream, we could so very easily ask what such things mean, digging deep inside for the knowledge. The only sad thing, other than the need for that awareness, is the possibility of having to face these unwanted scenarios again in order to get those answers.

[Bizarre Jester]

That sounds like an unpleasent dream. Maybe you were still uncomfortable with the idea of lucid dreaming which is why it didn't turn out so great. You probably weren't fully lucid either. What you need to do is realize that it is just that, a dream, which means that there is no reason not to give another shot at it. Once your subconsious understands that there is nothing to be afraid of, you won't have nightmares anymore. As you probably know, many people get involved with lucid dreaming to cure their nightmares.

[MichaelAnthonyVet]

From my understanding of lucid dreaming (I've read a few books and used to be really good at it) if you had a nightmare, then it probably wasn't an actual lucid dream. Having a lucid dream means becoming totally aware during a dream. Sounds like you were only partially aware, if you were fully awake in the dream you'd know that nothing could hurt or scare you.

I would keep practicing with the lucid dreaming, a lot is possible with it. Check out Stephene Laberge.