I got in contact with my Guides!!!! But still confused D:

[theuprising]

Pretty crazy. For some background, one day when I was thinking about my "purpose" in life, it dawned on me and I couldn't control my laughter. It was obvious the whole time, my core desire was to heal and love others, to be like an angel, to be, like I told my friend once, a beacon of light in the dark.

Well as time passed I knocked off this state of realization, due to doubts. There were other things in this world other than loving others and I was missing out if I solely homed in on that. Enlightenment is the love of all things after all. Who was going to take care of me through all this? etc. etc. And it came to a point where I didn't really know what my true purpose was any more.

So I hear your guides have overarching wisdom on things due to being present throughout your life, like why you were born. Mental imagery doesn't work, so I bring out a pen and paper and ask for the guide with my best interest in mind to come forth. I ask him/her "what is my purpose in life", and I get words that seem like their are forming "become" but not quite.

The whole time I'm trying to decipher the meanings but to no avail, and at one point my pen just drew a long oval coming from a source, and if that were to tip me off to anything personally, it would be a beacon. I scoffed it off at first like my other assumptions, but then looked directly to the left of it and it clearly said "becon". I didn't recognize it because it was mispelled. I then notice its written all over my paper, there was even a sentence that was written: "becon a ligh".

But I just can't "feel" this purpose anymore, it seems to me that helping people is only 1 part of the game of life. And once I realized that enjoyment is subjective, literally anything can be enjoyable. But I guess its like alan watts said: "perception is selection", so it is destined to be my personal taste to have that kind of purpose. But its just hard to tap into it, because it no longer seems to be my core desire... ugh help! :P