Does anyone know what this could be?

[bluestar]

I was about 9 years old when I first became aware of it. Prior to that, there had been no dark shadows in my life. I had a good happy childhood with balanced kind and decent parents, friends, playing in the woods, normal at school, etc.
Then something started to happen. I became aware of a "place" which was nothing like this world, which was so horrible, it was on a level no one would be wise to go to. It freaked me out. It wasn't a dream, but a conscious awareness.
Exact images of this "place" were not possible to see, but I could feel the atmosphere, and it was utterly alien.
I tried sometimes to communicate this feeling/place/whatever it was to my parents or other adults(it felt like a location, rather than an emotion or fear) -but it was impossible to describe, and I couldn't communicate it adequately. No one knew what I was talking about.
I did anything possible to try and dispel this and fight it if I started getting the sense of it from time to time. I would watch comedy movies, make jokes, race around on my bike....etc But once the sense of it started there was very little I could do to get away from it until it faded naturally. During that time I was not depressed or low spirited, so I don't believe it was any form of depression.
Since then there have been a number of times in my life that "place" has come back to me....some of the times are hardly worth mention, but other times might be relevant.
Once, when I was thinking deeply about ancient Mexico....
Another time when I was contemplating the Third Reich, and the inhumanities committed.
Another time just as I was about to go under anesthetic.
What could this "place" be???

I don't know if anyone else has had anything even remotely similar, or if anyone can even understand what I mean....?

[Silwer]

....past life memory? .... (total guess)

[Irisha]

It resonates with me in the following way.

I also have some feeling, or sensation which I have from time to time, and which I cannot describe adequately!..
You call it a 'place', I would rather call it a 'feeling'. When it starts it develops very quickly and remains without changes till I manage to 'hold' it. There are no words for it!.. I can just try to remotely describe it as 'something which is swollen' inside - not my body, but inside my mind, -and at the same time, though it is growing it remains the same in size!.. And it can be 'touched' and 'felt' physically though it belongs to the sphere of consciousness and not to my physical body. It has like some harder 'shell' around it. In this sense it can be called a 'place', but for me it's rather a 'feeling'. Though I can speek about it in terms of 'volume'. It's so weird! It happens spontaneously, and sometimes it's strong, sometimes not.
(MrG who knows about all my thoughts and feelings is aware about this sensation as well, he says he likes it, and he calls it a channel - just to give it a name. He can help me 'hold ' it longer).

I also remember how it started !
I was a small child, maybe 3 y.o., and somebody threw a ball made of a hard plastic on the wooden floor, and the sound made by the rolling ball triggered this 'feeling'.
Then when I was at the railway station I saw a train for the first time, which was working using the energy of steam, and the sound made by its moving parts (the wheels) also triggered this 'feeling'.
So, it was connected with the new and unusual sound and movement.
Now it just happens spontaneously.
I can also say that it is 'nothing like this world', doesn't belong to this world, and I may be 'doing' some strange things in my imagination at the moment!.. Like for ex., standing on very, very long and thin legs like those of a mosquito, but much longer, and trying to pull them out of some very, very swampy substance.. - I don't know how to call it!

This feeling also fades naturally, but I like to prolong it.

I believe it's some parallel world. Or my recollection about it.

What else resonates?
The Indeans... Since childhood the name 'Peru' has meant something special to me!

And with Nazis... - I had a hallucination (or what was it?) - only once in my life, I never had smth like that before or after!
I was 6 y.o. and was staying at home in bed as I was having a cold. On this day my father was with me, not my mother as it usually was. He entered my room, and said that he would go to the store. I was lying in bed. Suddenly the door opened, and my granny (who lived far away, thousands km from that place) entered the room. She was staying in the middle of the room, very excited, crying and begging me to put on my clothes quickly, and leave the place immediately, because, she said , the fascists would be there very soon. I was scared so much! I started to put on my clothes, the stockings, that special thing for stockings the girls wore at that time - it was with many buttons - and then I saw with horror that two people had entered the room. They were fascists, they had casques with horns on their heads . I cried, and closed my eyes with hands, and tried to hide myself under the blanket and under the pillow. I felt such a horror that I couldn't move... Some time had passed. I opened my eyes and tried to see through fingers. There was nobody in the room. I sat in the bed. My face was wet with tears, and I had my clothes on - it was not a dream, I was dressed.
I told nobody about that as I knew my parents would have been frighten about what had happened to me.
Why and what was it? It had never taken place again. I never had any hallucinations any more in my life.

[insanezenmistress]

Irisha... none of my business but... you will ahve to start psychic surgery-ing little programming like this ""(MrG who knows about all my thoughts and feelings is aware about this sensation as well, he says he likes it, and he calls it a channel - just to give it a name. He can help me 'hold ' it longer)."""

no worries, go on and rip those little suckers out by the roots. Stings? sure it does.....

[bluestar]

Irisha, your feelings/sensations/experiences are not the same as mine were, but they have something in common....they are almost indescribable, and hard to explain.
I also had someone very close to me psychically in the past, and whenever my odd sense of "That Place" ( a 'dark' dangerous place)came, he knew of it in a telepathic way, I felt his recognition of what I was feeling and he used to project love to me immediately which was lovely and helpful.

[desertrat]

I wounder if you are picking up on another astral dimention . Like radio waves , we live on 99.9 f.m. and you get a little bit of 100.1 f.m. Just my quick thoughts . desert rat

[Irisha]

Yes, Desertrat, I think it's something like to be tuned to another wave. And it's like with noise - I mean - in my case : without any sense, doesn't convey any information. Just a 'feeling'...
But this 'feeling' is not a dangerous place in my case. I like when it happens because it's so weird! I did't understand what you meant and why it ought to 'sting', Insanezenmistress.
Bluestar, can you try to describe this 'place' in more detail? I know, it's hard, but maybe it's possible to do it with the help of comparisons or somehow indirectly? how it starts? is it every time the same or there are changes?