Energy Drainers? Some advice? Personal stories?

[Simmiah]

Hi!

I have a quick question about this. I've been reading up on it but I would like some personal experiences from others about this.

Short story of mine recently:
I know a girl in my class. Her husband deployed & she had a panick attack. Being a person who likes to be nice & seeing her fear I did offer a bit of support & some amount of compassion. Anyways, I felt used afterwards. I had spent the night at her place since she claimed she couldn't sleep at all without her husband there...so I said sure since I'm doing laundry & you're letting me use your machine (I don't have one at my place).. I said sure.

She called her sister while I was sitting there on the couch with her. I felt used..sort of like I didn't matter as a person? That was the first clue. The second was when she called me after I had left the next day just to ask me about some shoe size problem...which was strange. Like why call for something so small? It was strange to me as though I wasn't a living person to her.

So I avoided her the next week & sort of went back to my normal schedule which is reading a lot of books & working on my spiritual stuff & she acted as though I was acting strangely & I felt guilty which was another clue. The weird part is this person seems so nice. She doesn't seem like a negative person which I had associated with being a energy drainer.

Yet everytime I thought of her over this last week I felt drained. I felt pulled on a LOT. So when the girl called me to keep trying to get me to come over & spend the night again I didn't even pick up my phone. This is not normal for me at all. I felt pulled so I wanted to run away far away from her. I did feel very negative when I thought of her .. & I intuitively felt at her apartment a very permeating sense of emptiness. This is not typical either as normally I pick up something..like residual energies from the person themselves. Is this emptiness a sign? Now .. I had a reading with Erin (thanks Erin!) & interestingly she pointed out something along these lines & I didn't think to ask specifically about this person but anyways I'm asking now. I basically could potentially attract people both negative & positive due to my energy field..something that hadn't occurred to me. & I did mention how I felt drained which has happened periodically around different types of people most of whom I have cut out of my life just because I don't know how else to deal with them.

However this person seemed so nice but.. is the clue that she was so afraid she couldn't handle life on her own? Was the second clue that she treated me as though I was an object for her to be used ...& not a separate living breathing human being?

I've had problems prior to this with strange people needing me before & ..I've felt used like I'm some kind of drug for people. I guess my energy field can be soothing but I don't like feeling drained.

Does anyone else experience this? I don't believe this girl knows what she's doing & she doesn't seem malicious but rather.. ignorant & sort of self centered without realizing it? Does this make sense?

Is the one common denominator of all energy vampires that they feel they cannot sustain themselves? Do they elicit sympathy & then drain you?

I've noticed this particular girl went straight from me to the other sympathetic girl in our class M.. who is a very nice person. However when another girl in our class A offered to let this girl spend the night when her husband first left she sort of ignored it. Interesting? So does she subconsciously go from sympathetic person to sympathetic person without a clue?

& is it possible to even be in contact with someone like this without being drained? Any advice? I don't want to cut her out but I want to be as nice & kind about this as possible. Thanks!

[ethereal]

This article may help:

Myswizard » Attractor Fields, Oppressor Fields and Energy Vampires

[Simmiah]

Thanks for the article ethereal. That helps!

& confirms my intuition that she just doesn't know what she's doing & it is unconscious.

I am asking another question just in general as I am entering the medical field:

When I help at the place I do my clinicals at I don't feel drained afterwards. For example recently I found called on to pray silently over this person's bed. I didn't feel drained by the experience & actually sort of driven & enthralled by the energy that was coming through me.

However with this girl it isn't the case. So, are there times to help & times to not help? Is it rather better to say to a person, "I'll hold your hand & I believe you can do it!" rather than give them sympathy or a piece of your own energy? & is it even okay to give your own energy out even though this is the premise of Reiki & Qi Qong which I've learned about as a child?

Thanks!

[ethereal]

Great questions Simmiah, I don't have too much experience with them, but going by my intuition/personal experience...

There definitely are times to help and not to help. Helping pull lower LOC people up is a draining task, especially when you realize they don't want to be pulled up, they want to pull you down, more like May not be consciously done, but that's what happens. Until they choose to go up with their own free will, it's best to surrender them to God and Divine Will.

As for giving people energy...I think it can be done purposefully, but I advise to let things be and if it happens it happens, if it doesn't no need to force it. There are many factors that go into whether someone will heal/respond to other people's energies, including karmic propensities, free will, etc. This higher energy, or Shakti-field, or Kundalini energy, or also called the Holy Spirit or Grace -- is very intelligent and aware, and knows what needs to be done. While I believe it sometimes can be guided with free will, it's best to let it do its job.

This is also somewhat confusing because there are many different energy systems (i.e. prana, chi, sexual energy, etc.) running through the body. I think Qi Gong (and perhaps Reiki) may be working on a different energy system, so all of this might not even apply

Usually if you end up touching someone, especially with the lower right hand (center of energy transmission, as described in various mudras), you end up passing some Kundalini/Shakti energy without necessarily draining you. This has also been called "Shaktipat", transmission of Divine energy. This energy is basically radiating from you at all times anyway, so it's not like you're willfully transferring your own energy away (like perhaps what you may have been doing earlier).

Hope this answers some of your questions! I still have some questions about it myself, so I'm glad to be discussing it

[ethereal]

Oh wow, wish I read these pages before I posted, this answers most of your questions:

Kundalini-teacher.com. Lessons.Prana and Shakti.

Kundalini-teacher.com. Lessons. Human Energy.

And this isn't directly related but seems like great reading:

Kundalini-teacher.com. Lessons.Projections.

Not sure how much of it is completely true (I self-calibrate her b/w 400 and 500), but she seems to know her stuff.

She also says her web pages are "Shakti-charged" -- can you feel it?

[Holistic Star]

I think the clue is that this is a repeating pattern for you and not a one-off. Often when there is patterns in our life we play all the parts at some point. So sometimes you are the one being needed and drained and other times you are needy and draining (you might find the second scenario harder to spot, but I'm sure if you look you will find some examples).

This is an issue I have dealt with a lot in my life and I now notice the warning signs that I am being suckered into someone else's drama much sooner. As soon as I do I tell myself very firmly that this is their issue and I will only help if they ask me to. I've had a great need to fix things for others and I realised that it has often been to distract myself from what needs fixing in my own life.

It is hard to break the cycles and I'm not sure that avoiding people ultimately solves the issue "what you resist, persists". Finding a way to be caring and set boundaries about what you will and won't do for others is the long term solution. It's a journey and you won't get it right every time, but you will get there

[starlet]

My friends and I no longer rant and rave to each other. We no longer go to each other with our problems, we have learned better. Chain of pain and all that. Its amazing the damage we did to each other for years. We have a pact - the second one of us is feeling needy, we leave.

[JMan]

Originally Posted by starlet

My friends and I no longer rant and rave to each other. We no longer go to each other with our problems, we have learned better. Chain of pain and all that. Its amazing the damage we did to each other for years. We have a pact - the second one of us is feeling needy, we leave.

Do you know of any sites/discussions on this topic specifically? The effects of complaining and energy drain? I need to pass this on.

[starlet]

Originally Posted by JMan

Do you know of any sites/discussions on this topic specifically? The effects of complaining and energy drain? I need to pass this on.

Nope, just personal observation. I always wondered why being around negative people made em so exhausted, so I instead started getting away from such people and noticed my energy increasing. Just logic and reasoning.

[jojo]

Great topic! I am similar in that I pick up on people's energies and for the most part I don't have people in my life who drain my energy anymore and the engery I give out to others I give freely because I know how to allow it to flow through me, rather than being caught up within me (almost like a divine well I guess; that actually sounds a bit strange to me!).

The exception was last year, when I allowed someone in to my life who actively drained me repeatedly...to the point where I was getting ill all the time (throwing up in the mornings etc). It was really hard going because in the past (and now) I would have cut this person from my life immediately (their vibrations were very low and I could feel a dark black sticky shadow around them most of the time...although as I become more involved with this person, I realised a lot of it had to do with drugs and the control the substances were having over this person's spirit). Two things I learnt:

1. I didn't run away...well, actually I couldn't. Each time I tried to pull away, I put myself back in the situation. It was like I couldn't leave until I had learnt what I needed to learn from the situation (which now thankfully has been done, as I now feel a lightness within me).

2. This person/situation was more about me than it was about them. I needed to work through some stuff and this person gave me the opportunity.

Point 2 was especially an eye opener because as I mentioned earlier, in the past and now, I would walk away from a situation like this. But, about half way through last year, I realised this person was in my life for a reason and until I worked through my stuff they weren't going anywhere.

I think it is very important to listen to you intuition. To me it is about being aware of your own energies and your own feelings. As you said, some situations don't drain you, yet they should. Yet, other situations which might seem quite small leave you feeling completely empty.

When giving out energy it is important to allow it to flow through you without the attachment to it. If you feel they are 'hooking' in to you, it is time to get out of the situation (regardless of how simple the situation may seem on the outside) and take the time to view it objectively and then if you feel you are up to it, go back.

You might also benifit from protecting yourself before interacting with people - light light etc...I think Erin might talk about this in one of her blogs.

Many smiles!

[Simmiah]

Ethereal:

Great links! Very helpful actually.

This quote was very true of what the 'answers' I was getting from prayer & whatnot.

"Do not broadcast love and light at other people, because judging them as being in need of it, is a negative projection. It is a pedestal, an attitude of superiority. Patronizing. It is not the same as seeing "thou art God". Namaste."

I realize now that suffering isn't negative & the person doesn't necessarily need my help. Sure I can support..which is different because nothing is coming out of me towards them. I identified with what she called Shakti energy because I've had a few times where the energy rose of its own volition inside of myself ..but not necessarily towards the person but as a response. & I think that is because it is wiser than I am. It sees something I don't see so it responds. However with this girl it wasn't so..only once when she was panicking initially when her husband was calling her to tell her he was leaving.

Holistic Star:
I agree with you for the most part. We all do need & drain at times & in the past I was definitely more like this...however, haha, I never got any help. Which I think was great!

I have an established pattern of 'helping' which I thought I had broken but apparently not so. It's old I'm sure actually.. & in this life it started with my mom 'needing' me to be the parent & take care of her emotions because she was 'always suffering'. So, it is a bad habit for me & my karma from what I understand. I've obviously been not doing what the higher good is calling for otherwise this situation would've been a good thing!

Jojo:
Actually in my reading Erin told me my guides were telling me to protect myself. Erin suggested the white light. Haha. I didn't know really that I should've been. I've always thought I'm good so I'm protected. I don't think it works that way. I thought abuot it some more & I thought.. "would I not get car insurance just because I'm a good driver?"...& I realized the answer was no. lol.

I do wish there were articles on this stuff lol...because I think it is pretty common especially from all the posts responding to this. I was confused because there was so little I was finding other than the energy vampire stuff which seemed to harsh to me.

Update:
I went to class this morning & this was after I spent all weekend by myself & taking care of my energy & dismantling any feeling of being pulled or yanked on. & my energy shot up. I slept less than I did last week (I had been needing 10 hours where I sometimes only need 7..so it was a big change). That was enough for me to know something strange was going on.

When I went to class the girl was really drained & she had been sick all weekend which I thought was strangely coincidental. She also complained about taking benadryl & getting dizzy & needing to call me but somehow coincidentally her phone wasn't dialing out phone calls. She kept saying how she thought she couldn't take care of her daughter because she was dizzy...& saying she was afraid of cooking & driving.. which I find odd because ..well I was sick for one week with a horrible stomach bug where I didn't have the strength to do anything for a day..& I didn't call anyone. So...I find it strange that she was complaining about something so minor.

I think maybe someone higher up is trying to tell me something with all the 'coincidental' lack of phone calls because I did need a break from hre. I did feel like she was trying to get me to pity her again this morning which I responded with not much of any feeling...not perfect but I think I was setting up a boundary. I've always had trouble setting up boundaries with people like this.

It seems that she's not negative all the time though because she pepped up later though I am not sure because she gave up her pity act or because she felt better because I was around? I'm not sure. Anyways, I am still not sure if I want to avoid her ... she still wants to persist in hanging around me but I don't know if I want to. I haven't decided if the boundary I have to set is polite avoidance but that may have to be the boundary I set up.

I had loaned her some stuff so I'm sorta trying to be polite & wait patiently to get some stuff back. Anyways! Thanks everyone for your posts. They were helpful!