To communicate with my dead ex boyfriend.

[lookcloser]

Not sure if I'm posting this in the right form, but had to put it somewhere. My ex boyfriend also a close friend passed away two days back and it has brought some very intense mixed feelings.
We dated during 12th grade and as I recall I just never treated him right, and I'm not saying this cause he is dead but he was the sweetest guy I ever dated, he respected me so much and cared so much about me. But I just had my head up in the clouds and I was not once a good girlfriend to him.

How do I tell him I'm sorry? And feel he has forgiven me? I want to know he is doing fine and is blissful.

And the incident is a HUGE shock, I feel bad for his parents too because even his brother died and the stupidest thing Indian parents do is live for their children and they lost both. And I feel sick in my stomach when I think of the pain he might have gone through and all this seems so unfair. How do I get through this? How can I help parents?

And some people say dying in an accident is unholy? All this is way overwhelming. The article about the accident Three friends die in Hood County plane crash | wfaa.com | Dallas - Fort Worth Local News

[Anagogy]

Originally Posted by lookcloser

Not sure if I'm posting this in the right form, but had to put it somewhere. My ex boyfriend also a close friend passed away two days back and it has brought some very intense mixed feelings.
We dated during 12th grade and as I recall I just never treated him right, and I'm not saying this cause he is dead but he was the sweetest guy I ever dated, he respected me so much and cared so much about me. But I just had my head up in the clouds and I was not once a good girlfriend to him.

How do I tell him I'm sorry? And feel he has forgiven me? I want to know he is doing fine and is blissful.

He already knows. When you think about someone, you activate the vibration that is them. When one is disembodied, one is FAR more conscious of these thought transmissions. On the spirit plane, there is no time or space and thought equals action/communication. I have no doubt your friend is aware of how you feel.

When you die, you reemerge into pure positive energy. All the negative hangups and emotions you felt on Earth, in the human body, are normally just left behind. The negativity we experience occasionally on Earth is a kind of resistance, or friction that arises from our not going with the flow of life. When you die, the vibrational gap between your desires and your expectations closes and you simply release this resistance. This resistance is what stops people from feeling things like joy, love, acceptance, and bliss.

It's very easy to feel those higher emotions when you are minus the body.

Trust me, your friend is just fine.

[Guard]

One of the people that came through was a friend of mine. Female around 16 or so. I had no idea who she was talking about. The medium (Georgia O'Connor) said "she wants to nod the letter H." I said, "I have know idea" my friend said to the medium "Yes you do, stop being stupid" and laughed. Georgia seemed to get the feeling that she died in a crash or something. SHe came through because I helped her with something in her life. She also said that it was someone from school, but other school...not regular school. I have been trying to figure out who this is. It could be someone I didn't know very well. Like only for a short while. She said she wanted to say her name was Heather. All the heathers I know are alive.

Is there anyone on this forum that might help me with this?

[Michael Marsh]

Originally Posted by Guard

One of the people that came through was a friend of mine. Female around 16 or so. I had no idea who she was talking about. The medium (Georgia O'Connor) said "she wants to nod the letter H." I said, "I have know idea" my friend said to the medium "Yes you do, stop being stupid" and laughed. Georgia seemed to get the feeling that she died in a crash or something. SHe came through because I helped her with something in her life. She also said that it was someone from school, but other school...not regular school. I have been trying to figure out who this is. It could be someone I didn't know very well. Like only for a short while. She said she wanted to say her name was Heather. All the heathers I know are alive.

Is there anyone on this forum that might help me with this?

Hi, please remember this friend of yours could have been a friend of a cousin or something; and the degree of help could have been fairly small in your eyes but may have been the only connection she has with you. We don’t get to pick who comes through. What exactly do you want help with to find out who this friend is or something else. BB Mike

[Guard]

Originally Posted by Michael Marsh

Hi, please remember this friend of yours could have been a friend of a cousin or something; and the degree of help could have been fairly small in your eyes but may have been the only connection she has with you. We don’t get to pick who comes through. What exactly do you want help with to find out who this friend is or something else. BB Mike

Yes, I am really trying to figure out who it is. She said that she and I were friends from other school...not regular school.

[kitai]

I just want to say:

I'm sorry to hear about your friends, i for some reason feel inclined to tell you, the fact you were friends speaks volumes and that because of the experiences you both had together you experienced something in life that would make you and them into the person they are meant to be, without the experience they would not have become who they were meant too and nor would you. If you feel your actions were wrong you will learn from this in your life.

Someone once told me that when someone has become or achieved what they are meant to that they will pass away, it's likely that whatever life he chose before coming here due to the experiences he reached his destination quickly and if part of your life is to learn about yourself through this incident then make sure you give it proper consideration.

I hope you are ok, the worst thing you could do is blame yourself for things in the past, i am sure you have changed a lot since then even by simply realising and reflecting on things.

[GhostGoat]

My girlfriend of 11 years passed away just before X-Mas 2008 (she was also my best friend). She has visited me in my dreams a number of times since then. Sometimes when I dream about her, it is just my subconcious dreaming about her, but when she really visits me in my dreams, it is such a powerful emotional experience that I often wake up soon afterward.

I had some guilty feelings in regards to things I didn't do for her, but we have never discussed those in my dreams....I get the feeling that all is forgiven. And I've never asked her any details of the afterlife. When I see her I am always very shocked and joyful, it just feels so good to be with her again for those all-too-short visits.

I can't remember exactly how long it was after she passed away that she first visited me in my dreams...it seems like it may have been at least a couple of weeks, possibly longer. I have read up on this phenomena a little and apparently others have experienced visits from their deceased loved ones in their dreams too. I hope that your bf visits you in your dreams soon.

Take care, and be sure to pray for him. Even if he wasn't religious, or you aren't religious, it is supposed to help the dead in ways that we can't understand.

[lookcloser]

Originally Posted by GhostGoat

My girlfriend of 11 years passed away just before X-Mas 2008 (she was also my best friend). She has visited me in my dreams a number of times since then. Sometimes when I dream about her, it is just my subconcious dreaming about her, but when she really visits me in my dreams, it is such a powerful emotional experience that I often wake up soon afterward.

I had some guilty feelings in regards to things I didn't do for her, but we have never discussed those in my dreams....I get the feeling that all is forgiven. And I've never asked her any details of the afterlife. When I see her I am always very shocked and joyful, it just feels so good to be with her again for those all-too-short visits.

I can't remember exactly how long it was after she passed away that she first visited me in my dreams...it seems like it may have been at least a couple of weeks, possibly longer. I have read up on this phenomena a little and apparently others have experienced visits from their deceased loved ones in their dreams too. I hope that your bf visits you in your dreams soon.

Take care, and be sure to pray for him. Even if he wasn't religious, or you aren't religious, it is supposed to help the dead in ways that we can't understand.

Thank you so much for the post. I really want to talk to him just once more.

[codenamesmiley]

Originally Posted by Guard

One of the people that came through was a friend of mine. Female around 16 or so. I had no idea who she was talking about. The medium (Georgia O'Connor) said "she wants to nod the letter H." I said, "I have know idea" my friend said to the medium "Yes you do, stop being stupid" and laughed. Georgia seemed to get the feeling that she died in a crash or something. SHe came through because I helped her with something in her life. She also said that it was someone from school, but other school...not regular school. I have been trying to figure out who this is. It could be someone I didn't know very well. Like only for a short while. She said she wanted to say her name was Heather. All the heathers I know are alive.

Is there anyone on this forum that might help me with this?

In my experience, if you get information that don't ring a bell for you immediately....if you have to search and search for that one thing that may resonate with what a medium has told you, chances are you got a bad read or a not so good medium.

I would stop torturing myself trying to figure it out. It was obviously not a true spiritual message that is personally for you. (even if it came from a good medium)

Be Blessed,
Rebecca

[codenamesmiley]

Lookcloser,

Sit with a white candle lit and write him a heartfelt letter. Have a fireproof dish of a sort handy. After you finish the letter..burn it. This will put the intent and energy out and doing it this way, helps you do something physically toward the intention so that you don't feel like you did not do enough. When the candle burns out, bury it's remains along with the ashes of the letter. Say a prayer for your loved one.

Sending white healing light of love and comfort toward you, at this time.

Be Blessed,
Rebecca

[lookcloser]

Originally Posted by codenamesmiley

Lookcloser,

Sit with a white candle lit and write him a heartfelt letter. Have a fireproof dish of a sort handy. After you finish the letter..burn it. This will put the intent and energy out and doing it this way, helps you do something physically toward the intention so that you don't feel like you did not do enough. When the candle burns out, bury it's remains along with the ashes of the letter. Say a prayer for your loved one.

Sending white healing light of love and comfort toward you, at this time.

Be Blessed,
Rebecca

Looking for an advice like this. Thanks a lot

[khuffman06]

Originally Posted by lookcloser

Not sure if I'm posting this in the right form, but had to put it somewhere. My ex boyfriend also a close friend passed away two days back and it has brought some very intense mixed feelings.
We dated during 12th grade and as I recall I just never treated him right, and I'm not saying this cause he is dead but he was the sweetest guy I ever dated, he respected me so much and cared so much about me. But I just had my head up in the clouds and I was not once a good girlfriend to him.

How do I tell him I'm sorry? And feel he has forgiven me? I want to know he is doing fine and is blissful.

And the incident is a HUGE shock, I feel bad for his parents too because even his brother died and the stupidest thing Indian parents do is live for their children and they lost both. And I feel sick in my stomach when I think of the pain he might have gone through and all this seems so unfair. How do I get through this? How can I help parents?

And some people say dying in an accident is unholy? All this is way overwhelming. The article about the accident Three friends die in Hood County plane crash | wfaa.com | Dallas - Fort Worth Local News

The same thing happened to me.

I was 15/16 when I dated my ex, "F" for 10 months. We were best friends for a few months before, we'd always say "I love you" before we got off the phone and we'd kiss before we got out of each other's vehicle. Then one day we figured out we did this things because we actually loved each other, so we started dating.

He was the most amazing boyfriend I could've ever asked for. We had an amazing relationship full of laughter and love, he took care of me and he made me happy. The problem was my now husband "A". I'd always had a thing for him, and of course he didn't want anything to do with me until I had a new boyfriend that I thought the world of. He convinced me to break up with him and start dating him. So, against my better judgment, I did. This broke "F"'s heart, and our relationship was never the same after that.

Whenever "A" and I would fight, I'd run to "F", and he would make it alright. I stayed at his house many nights after fighting with "A" and he never judged me, just held me close until I fell asleep. I'll never forget all the loving things he did for me. He was always my protector, he saved me so many times. He was my back up, and I never realized how grateful I was for him until he was gone.

On March 4, 2010, I was on Facebook, and saw many posts saying "F"s wife and son were in people's prayers. Earlier that morning I'd heard of a fatal crash further down the State Route I live on, but thought nothing of it, people always wrecked on this road.

At 1:00, I found out one of the fatalities was "F", and my world crashed. He and a co-worker, also his good friend, had been driving home from work, over an hour away, after working night shift. "F", we assume, fell asleep at the wheel, killing him, and his friend, injuring 3 others in an oncoming vehicle after hitting head on. My life has been shattered for months.

I talk to him each night before I go to sleep, and I hope he can hear me. I pray for him all the time. About 4 months after the accident, I had a dream that I called his cell phone to speak to him, and he answered, on "Heaven's phone". As absurd as it sounds, I know I spoke to him from Heaven. All I can remember is saying "I'm sorry" and "I love you so much, I'm so sorry for everything". And he kept saying, "I know, and I love you too. It's okay now, I'm not mad, I forgive you". I know that it was him, because when I dream, I can't imitate someone else's voice. It was his voice coming through, loud and clear. I woke up with an intense sense of clarity, and I felt as though he'd really forgiven me.

Last night, I had a dream about him, and we were 15 & 18 again. He had the same haircut, the same smile, the same smell. Everything was right and he was okay. I don't remember us saying anything but "I love you, I'm so happy with you" back and forth. When I woke up, all I could do was cry. It had felt so real.

I've tried desperately to connect with his wife, with whom I was close friends in high school, but she's already moved on to a new boyfriend, and it breaks my heart. How can she be ready to have a new relationship, (they were married for a year and 7 months when he passed) when the rest of us can't even talk about him without crying? We're all assuming it's because she's lonely and greiving, but she talks about marrying this new man. I hope for the child's sake, she does marry him.

My only real solace has come with his cousins and close family. I was always close with them during our relationship and after, but now we're like family. They treat me as if I married into their family, and that I'm finally taking my rightful place. They feel the way I do, and we help each other.

I miss him so much that it hurts on a daily basis. I realize now I was an immature 15/16 year old girl that treated him badly. He deserved to be treated like a God, and maybe it took his death for me to see that. I've always loved him, and always hoped that maybe, later on in life, we'd get back together if our marriages failed. Now, I feel shallow for feeling that way, and that thought has been ripped away from me. That can never happen. He can never save me again. The realization is that I'm on my own now, though I really have been since he and his wife began dating. But I always thought, you know, if something happens to me, I'll call him, and we'll put aside our differences and he'll come help me.

I could've and should've treated him better, but I didn't know. I miss him so much.

Sorry for the book.

[royster]

It always brings me joy to see the insightful people on this forum, and those who have the courage to share. Many good suggestions.

Lookcloser, perhaps you might consider writing the letter CodeNameSmiley suggested HERE. There is no question in my mind you've already communicated with your friend, but sometimes validation comes with a public sharing. I applaud your feelings and concerns, and wish for you many blessings and insights from the experience. We all learn in such an environment.

And my heartfelt gratitude to those of you who offer such wonderful, caring advice...sharing your own insights for the benefit of all.