How to deal with empathic abilities?

[LSO]

I just realized I'm an empath. For as long as I can remember, I've described myself as a "social chameleon" because I automatically take on others' attitudes and opinions, but recently this ability has become much stronger. These days, I can actually feel what others are feeling. The closer the person is, the more strongly I can feel their feelings, even if they they're trying to hide them from me.

I can also pick up the feelings of my plants! We have a lot of plants in our house, and I can feel when they need watering or taking care of. For example, when our plants were suffering from a nutrient deficiency, I was overwhelmed by feelings of depression and felt like no one cared about me (even though I had no reason to feel like it). When I gave the plants the nutrients they needed, in ten minutes, I felt like a switch went off in my head and I was suddenly smiling again and was feeling overwhelming happiness and contentment.

I guess my empathic abilities have become stronger because I've been developing my other psychic abilities as well. While I do like my empathic ability and would like to develop it further, I'd also like to know how to deal with it so I won't become overwhelmed:

1) How can I tell if the feelings I'm experiencing are my own or picked from others? Right now, I'm not very good at telling them apart.

2) How can I turn off a connection if I want to? While I don't mind sharing the feelings if the other person is feeling good, I don't want to dwell in their negative feelings.

[MichaelMaxwell]

I know what your going through a little bit. Its rough when you cant stop yourself from empathizing with everybody you run into on the streets. It can really be useful for healing people psychologically though as sometimes people just need to believe someone understands how they are feeling.

1. Maybe all feelings are shared feelings anyway to some degree? I dont really know...
2. I'm not sure how I did it with this one, maybe just use your imagination and imagine yourself as feeling happy when you are confronted with negative people? Or imagine them with like a candy coating around their emotions? I'm not sure but I hope you figure it out. Good luck.

[Maps31]

As frustrating being an empath can be, it is also gratifying. You will need to protect yourself, its not hard. Surround yourself in light and after being in a crowd, taking on someone else's emotions you need to pull the cords that have become attached to you. You can 'feel' them and in your minds eye you can see them. replace them with pure white light.
Christmas shopping CAN be hard but when you feel someone else's gratifying moment (OH! Grandpa will love this!) you will find it not so hard at all.
protect yourself.
and look for that place in you that you can ask it to rest. it is tiring
~peace~
Maps

[Angela]

Try this Ho’oponopono technique.

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by LSO

I just realized I'm an empath. For as long as I can remember, I've described myself as a "social chameleon" because I automatically take on others' attitudes and opinions, but recently this ability has become much stronger. These days, I can actually feel what others are feeling. The closer the person is, the more strongly I can feel their feelings, even if they they're trying to hide them from me.

I can also pick up the feelings of my plants! We have a lot of plants in our house, and I can feel when they need watering or taking care of. For example, when our plants were suffering from a nutrient deficiency, I was overwhelmed by feelings of depression and felt like no one cared about me (even though I had no reason to feel like it). When I gave the plants the nutrients they needed, in ten minutes, I felt like a switch went off in my head and I was suddenly smiling again and was feeling overwhelming happiness and contentment.

I guess my empathic abilities have become stronger because I've been developing my other psychic abilities as well. While I do like my empathic ability and would like to develop it further, I'd also like to know how to deal with it so I won't become overwhelmed:

1) How can I tell if the feelings I'm experiencing are my own or picked from others? Right now, I'm not very good at telling them apart.

2) How can I turn off a connection if I want to? While I don't mind sharing the feelings if the other person is feeling good, I don't want to dwell in their negative feelings.

LSO,

You might find Rose Rosetree's book, Empowered by Empathy, helpful. As an empath, I know I certainly did.

To be honest, I haven't even finished reading the book; the technique that I really wanted and needed--the one I most apply--is the one she shares for turning off empathy (don't worry, that doesn't mean it goes away; it just means you direct it differently than you're used to--more consciously; it also means that you learn what empathy really is, or at least, why it happens, which helps you choose when you want it to happen as you practice what Rose shares). The rest of the techniques are for turning empathy on--on really learning how to use your empathic abilities consciously (which I feel she does really well--Rose knows her stuff), but it's more than just techniques... the section in the front helps you get more of an awareness of the type(s) of empathy you have, and the rest of the book approaches the topic from the perspective that being a skilled empath (which is what you want to become if you're an empath; the unskilled path sucks ) is more of a lifestyle, and gives practical suggestions and ideas for how you can practice that lifestyle in your everyday life and better understand it.

Rose actually has a new book on empathy out, but I haven't checked it out yet.

She also has a blog category lots of articles on the topic of empathy, and her latest blog post is even about empathy. Edit: not sure why, but the forum isn't showing up those links correctly. You can reach Rose's blog at www (dot) rose-rosetree (dot) com/blog

(And you'll find the category I talked about under "Become a skilled empath" on the left hand side.)

This is sounding strangely like an (unintentional) book review (it's just because I'm writing concisely), but I'm nowhere near what I'd consider to be a skilled empath, and already Rose--just the mindset and perspective she shares (and teaches)--has helped me so much. For me, empathy was/is generally something I do naturally and automatically (usually without knowing I'm doing it, although I have more awareness of when I'm doing it now), but I learned it's not just about energetically "flying in spirit" to experience what it's like to experience the experience of another person (or people). For me, most of it is about the realisation that, for most of my life, my focus has been on others, with little attention given to myself. That was a powerful realisation for me, and I'm learning, as best I can, to focus some--or most--of my awareness on me for once. It truly is a nourishing experience; it literally feels good.

[dhethic]

Empath here, as well.

Anna Conlan has a pair of articles on overactive empathy and (temporarily, mindfully) turning it off.

Is Overactive Empathy Ruining Your Life? » Extra Sensory Perception - Intuitive and Spiritual Development Blog
How to Turn off Overactive Empathy » Extra Sensory Perception - Intuitive and Spiritual Development Blog

She also recommends Empowered by Empathy in her article.

[codenamesmiley]

Originally Posted by Angela

Try this Ho’oponopono technique.

Angela,

I clicked on "Angela Lord Blog" out of curiosity, because you always give good advice. Problem. Malwarebytes pops up and says it stopped malicious addy, and it comes up as a problem page. It appears that there is something malicious attached to your blog page. You may want to look into that.

Blessings,
Rebecca

[rei]

Originally Posted by LSO

1) How can I tell if the feelings I'm experiencing are my own or picked from others? Right now, I'm not very good at telling them apart.

2) How can I turn off a connection if I want to? While I don't mind sharing the feelings if the other person is feeling good, I don't want to dwell in their negative feelings.

that book Bruce mentioned sounds very helpful.
one technique i have used that helps a lot, to varying degrees with both of your questions, is to become aware of the size of my aura. when i first started doing this, my aura was very big. our auras are only supposed to be around 2 feet from us in every direction, and really there is no reason we need to keep them so large. so i found pulling in the boundaries of my aura through visualization/intention has helped quite a bit. if we feel a feeling, and we check and our aura is the size it's meant to be, then the feeling is more likely to be ours. (of course, if a person is standing right next to us, within the bounds of our aura, then there might be confusion anyway.)

you can also try visualizing a mirror in between you and the person whose negativity you don't want to take on. the mirror will simply return what is being sent. it is not done with any malice, but the feeling stops and returns when it hits the mirror. the thing is though, this doesn't work every time. sometimes we are feeling compassion for a person or really in our hearts wanting them to feel better, and in that case we are inviting the emotion to us. so if we very much want them to feel better, it may be harder to turn the volume down on the connection. it may be possible, but i'm not sure the mirror technique works every time in that situation.

congrats, and good luck!

[LSO]

Thank you for your tips and links!

That book by Rose Rosetree seems interesting, I'll definitely add it on my reading list. I also found her blog very interesting - not only the articles about empathy, but her other articles as well.

rei, it's interesting you mentioned the size of aura. Sometimes, when I've visualized my aura, I've noticed it tends to extend very far and sort of merge with other peoples' auras. I can feel our auras merging and forming a big collective aura that surrounds myself and several people. For example, if I'm sitting in a bus, I can feel the collective aura of everyone in that bus.

I also realized I need to pay a bit more careful attention to my chakras. I tend to keep my chakras, especially the third eye and heart chakra, wide open. Not a very good idea... sometimes, when I've intentionally opened those chakras to see what happens, all sorts of creepy stuff has happened, such as synchronizing my feelings with someone near me (usually my husband, since I've often done it at home) so that we both feel the same things and heighten each others' feelings so much we both get caught in the feelings and have a hard time dealing with them.

Guess I'll have to learn to keep my chakras and aura a little bit more private.

Originally Posted by Bruce Achterberg

for most of my life, my focus has been on others, with little attention given to myself. That was a powerful realisation for me, and I'm learning, as best I can, to focus some--or most--of my awareness on me for once. It truly is a nourishing experience; it literally feels good.

You know, that could have been straight out of my keyboard! A couple of years ago, I realized the exact same thing and have consciously worked on, well... not forgetting myself.

BTW, this discussion reminded me of a way I've sometimes dealt with huge crows of people. I hate it when I'm surrounded with a bunch of people who bump into me and push me around (I'm physically small, so it definitely doesn't help) but I don't want to push them in turn. In these situations, I visualize a strong burst of yellow light coming out of my solar plexus and forming a protective shield of yellow light around me. I've noticed it keeps people at a distance - they automatically make way for me! Maybe I could do something like that with the empathic stuff as well...

[codenamesmiley]

The yellow solar plexus chakra extended, serves to protect your emotions during times of overactive empathy. If you want strength, go to the base chakra.

Blessings,
Rebecca

[themaster]

How can I turn off a connection if I want to?

Yes, I agree it's my understanding ESP comes through chakra's.. you should learn control of the one or ones activated so you could turn them off or down if you don't want the ability

How can I tell if the feelings I'm experiencing are my own or picked from others?

The same is true.. take your time.. be easy about it.. but the chakra's will probably help give you more control than anything

[LSO]

Originally Posted by codenamesmiley

The yellow solar plexus chakra extended, serves to protect your emotions during times of overactive empathy. If you want strength, go to the base chakra.

Thank you for your tips! Now, when I googled about it, this tip about extending your solar plexus and creating a protective shield of yellow light around you seems to be a very common one. According to her blog posts, Erin has also apparently used it! It's no surprise, as this technique seems to work wonders.

Originally Posted by Angela

Try this Ho’oponopono technique.

I just tried that technique, and wow, does it work!

It also seems to work with some lighter visualization. I developed a lighter version of that technique when my husband was sick and was feeling down. His feelings of course crept on me, too. When I left our house to shop for groceries and felt a slight relief of getting away from his energy, I decided to cut our connection for a while. I didn't do a full-blown meditation while walking, though, so I did the following:

While walking, I became conscious of my aura and identified the cord that was connecting my aura with that of my husband. When I was positive I had found the cord connecting myself to my husband, I did the following:

1. Identify and feel the cord.
2. Visualizing virtual scissors, I pressed them against the cord (no cutting yet) and visualized the following:
3. "I love you." I waited for the echo of these words and thoughts to come back to me.
4. When I received them, I did the same with "I forgive you, [hubby's name]." and waited for the echo to come back to me.
5. After this, I said "I let you go", and waited for the echo to come back to me.
6. When I received the echo, I cut the cord with the scissors I visualized.

I felt such a relief after doing this! I did it with the intention of love, and with the intention of developing the connection with him later.

Boy, did I feel relieved! I felt like a huge burden of my aura falling behind. When I came back home and sat next to my hubby, it was so incredible to not feel his negative feelings! This time, I was actually able to cheer him up a little.

The funny thing was, however, when I came back home, he told me he "lost some sort of a connection" with me. That he suddenly felt I wasn't present like I used to be. I explained the situation to him and he felt astonished, but also very happy, because my energy felt a lot more refreshing to him than he expected.

[mrsko]

Thanks for this thread, I have read it with interest & have ordered the book Empowered by Empathy, hopefully I am able to understand empathy a bit more.