|05-21-2009, 06:25 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2009
I'm very upset with myself today; I let the past horrors of some things I've experienced, and something horrible that happened to me by someone else's doing that led to a very violent awakening inside of me, affect me to the point of ruining my day, and it's only just started.
My life right now is very much still out of my control. It's hard for me even to take a walk and feel comfortable, or like I am not going to pass out or fall down. I have a lot of sadness inside of me over the loss of my father, who passed away many years ago when I was a child, but it's still fresh and hurting inside of me, along with many other things. I really feel like I have failed at life and there is little hope for much of anything in the future for me.
I just turned 27 and am not sure how I feel about this. Ive lost some of my twenties to some very dark depression, and have spent the past two years trying to heal myself but it's been hard and people will always be there to try and drag you down. I don't make that much money and am trying to not let it affect me, and it mostly has not, but it hasn't really been easy, either.
I've had a lot of my finances mismanaged by family members whom I believed were investing properly and it turns out were either not or spending it for themselves, and withholding some from me. I tried to bargain with one of my sisters with this, but she barely budged, and by the time I finally had gotten something from her, I was completely worn down and lost a lot of my control, and spent time in rehab for about a month. Another family member took me home with her and I've been living where I am for the past two years, working most of the time, but despondent internally, with really little or no joy, and feel like I am worn at the end of the line. I just feel like there's nothing.
|05-22-2009, 02:16 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: I'm a traveler everywhere and nowhere.. currently in Denver.. where else?
If you look for depression.. you’re going to find it..
You know deep down that life is not nothing..
You need to really do your best to pick up a optimist attitude.. (this is a suggestion) you should take control of your reality through experiments that will prove themselves via loa..
The easiest way to transition to see life as fun and joyful.. is besides maybe using/understanding LOA is to follow your highest excitement in any moment.. if you can do that every hour, every minute.. believe me life will not be glum it will just get better and better..
Today my grandma died..
Do I feel glum?
Nope.. I feel fine.. doing my best not to get dragged down by beliefs/definitions/fears about death.. I know the truth.. my grandma is a much better place.. assuming she's not already back here in another form on top of which technically she is still alive since time is illusion..
I tend to think we (family) should celebrate my grandma's leaving.. she is in such a better place now
but yah know like most people on the planet.. my family mostly believes death is a bad thing..
Last edited by themaster; 05-22-2009 at 02:21 AM.
|05-22-2009, 02:55 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2007
Oklahoma. Grasp at the little lights that you have. You say you feel like there is nothing yet there must be, and you must sense that for here you are on this forum sharing your despair.
We only change our lives when we feel the srtongest of emotions - anxiety, depression, disgust, hate, despair. So what you are feeling right now is a huge GIFT. Many people live in the much worse state of intertia, complacency, boredom and this just compels then to stick with the stautus quo and not move up to the next level of development.
You however are majorly moved. You feel depressed, betrayed, poor, exhausted, despondent. you know what? That is FANTASTIC! You are in the greater position to really make a change, a positive one.
So I've copy/pasted your text and inserted some things that come to mind when I read them. I'm sure it will help you... I've wrote mine in CAPS, not to shout but to make it easier to see.
You are at a crossroads. You have had years of darkness. There is light and you do know it as you have posted here. Whether you take the initiative and use this opportunity to make some lasting changes is purely down to you.
I would recommend reading lost of uplifting material, staying away from all negative influences (magazines, newspapers, tv, bad food etc). Work on your true purpose and look for love and light in everything that you do and everyone that you see.
There is a new moon on Sunday and this is a perfect time to "start again". Use the power of the influence to write down some changes "wishes" that you want to occur and you should feel the differences immediately.
yOU CAN LOVE AND YOU ARE LOVED, JUST LOOK AND YOU WILL FIND.
|05-23-2009, 02:23 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2009
Thank you for your insight---it definitely helped a bit! Inspirational literature does help a lot, I tried seeking some out today---it's hard work to free yourself of depression, but I have made some progress with it, you're right---the power of change could work out? I hope--things could smooth out in time with work
|Thread||Thread Starter||Forum||Replies||Last Post|
|forver feeling sleepy/tired||mydau||Health & Fitness||5||04-15-2009 03:27 PM|
|I'm Tired! Shouldn't You . . .?||C.F. Jackson||Personal Effectiveness||6||07-10-2008 06:08 PM|
|Huge problem with feeling tired, lack of concentration etc||Smarky||Health & Fitness||27||06-12-2008 11:32 AM|
|Always feeling Tired||crazlunatic||Health & Fitness||31||10-18-2007 05:31 AM|
|Feeling tired and lazy and &!@#$%||officelurker||Personal Effectiveness||19||01-23-2007 03:39 PM|
All times are GMT. The time now is 08:42 AM.