uncanny ability causing me turmoil!

[danman85]

So I've discovered that if I completely clear my head around other people, and truly listen to what they are saying, I can hear the way they structure their sentences and word choice, use tone inflections, and observe their body language to discover what they are really thinking/trying to say/imply. I can also tell if they're not being truthful, trying to manipulate someone else, being deceitful, ect. I can also tell if something truly inspires them by the particular words and body language. I can tell if someone is approaching me just because they want something, or if they are interested in finding out more about me, and other motives and things of the like. I would consider this to be a very physical form of empathy, and I am very thankful for it. On the other hand, it brings me me a lot of stress when I see someone doing and saying things that are intentionally hurtful to others, or if they're just being completely stubborn....or if they're just being a jerk because they want to be. It's to the point now where I'm actually annoyed or grim for a long time after an encounter with another. The stress doesn't come from the situation, the stress comes because I am a very vocally frank person. I say exactly what I'm thinking, and don't ever really care who does or does not want to hear it. Sometimes when I'm picking up on things like these, I want to say something like "that's not true, that completely contradicts what you said or did 3 days ago" or "you're just trying to get away from me, why don't you just go now." I don't ever say anything because it's thoughts that come to me somewhat intuitively, and for me to bring up deep personal issues that are affecting someone else is very intrusive, and can be quite offensive -- even if they are offending me. Can anyone help me with this? I'm really confused as to whether I am absorbing others' negative energy at the drop of a hat, or if I am just annoying myself because I'm holding back what I want to say. All in all, it just really bothers me because I find myself holding back, because I feel like what I say will be EXTREMELY offensive on an inner personal level to others. Why have a gift like this, and what to do with it?

[Sam988]

Cool. Can you please tell me something, is Obama truthful overall or not?? Do you trust him?

[danman85]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that is hilarious! But I will answer.

I think Obama is a good man. I think his wife is much more powerful than a first lady, and if he is elected to presidency, a lot of presidential decisions could be formed from that union. I also get the feeling that he is honest, but he has a plan up his sleeve that he has not revealed yet. Not one of evil, just something big he plans to do that he's not telling ANYONE about.

:isclaimer:: this is merely speculation, I am not claiming this to be of prophetic vision. That's just what I pick up of him when I see him on television. So it's completely un-fact based.....But I do like him a lot!

[danman85]

oh yeah, and a lot of what politicians say in public is completely contrived and thought of beforehand, we all know that

[pianoperformer]

I'm similar, though maybe not to that extent, and it is quite frustrating, when you can tell for example that someone is lying to you, or hiding their true emotions about something.

I'm not sure what to do about it yet, though. You'd think, that if used correctly, it could be a rather effective way to break through to the truth of the matter.

[amixa]

yes i too would like to understand how to deal with this.
the way that i have come to at least try and deal with this is to have compassion for the person whether or not i can tell why they are acting the way they are. this can be hard.. but i think it takes practice like anything else in life. i do especially hate when i can tell that some people don't want to talk to me.. or things like that.. it definitely humbles me but sometimes its like.. enough already! it is nice to know when people are lying though..
i don't know if this is because i'm an empath or if its because i'm very good at observing things. or both?

i know that reading the four agreements helped, in that one of the four is that things that people do is never really personal. everything they do is out of their life experience and their own issues. it is hard to remember this sometimes though.. and it still sucks and you're not wrong for feeling bad after having contact with them.

also to practice finding happiness and the root of happiness and wishing other people the same: even people who made you feel like crap. (i got this from the book 'places that scare you' by pema chodron)

i don't know to what extent you believe in things but imagining your heart chakra energy and imagine it getting stronger. if you can place your hand over it. this is especially helpful if you're around someone and you feel their energy is draining.
just things i try out.

[Niamh]

Similar thing happens to me too. And yes, it's very stressful. The emotions that go with it affect me a lil' bit too much; sometimes I have to "run away" from people. If there's a major shift of emotion in someone (for example, if someone gets bad news, or if someone is turned off my a comment because of prejudice) I receive a huge blow to the heart. Those little things that let you know when someone has an ulterior motive really annoy me too!! It's hard to keep quiet. Sometimes I just want to scream, "Just say what you mean!" or say "Just tell me what you want...you don't have to go through all of this."

My mom is always telling me I'm too sensitive. Its not like I can help it. I just wanna blow up when people make me feel like this. I know it's not their fault though.. they're entitled to have feelings after all.

I really have no idea what to do about it... and it doesn't get easier. If anything, it gets harder.

Just thought I'd post & tell you that you're not alone. I hope someone answers with some good advice. For the sake of us all.

*blessings & hugs*

[AWOL]

I can see what's really troubling someone. Not their intentions or anything. And I have to refrain myself from saying anything really revealing, cuz that would hurt them too much. I either tell them in private, or if it's small, I say it. Their talking about how they don't like their ex cuz they're on a pity date. Depending on their look, I can tell if their truthful or not. Sometimes I can use type to do the same. Weird.

Anyway, call them out. If it offends you, it offends you. We as human beings have the right to call someone out. Just no ovbious violence, and as soft as you can while still sounding firm.

[tinkerbell]

I've been feeling the same way. I don't respond to words as much as I respond to a person's vibration. This is very new to me and I consider this a gift. I think when we really try and clear our minds and open up to our intuition this can happen.

I guess you will find your own way; the way that feels right for you.

tinkerbell

[danman85]

Thanks for the replies. Someone actually did something that I found really offensive to me right after I made this post, and I told them, and they apologized. But I said it very quietly and privately. I think I might just want to approach things too bombastically....which in turn gets people insulted, only because of how it's brought up, I'll try and work on it. I am finding, however, that consciously acknowledging it lets me feel a little compassion, and then it's easier to just let whatever is bothering me roll away...I dunno yet, I'll just keep working on it. I want to help, not offend.

[amixa]

Originally Posted by Niamh

My mom is always telling me I'm too sensitive. Its not like I can help it.

there is no such thing as being too sensitive. that comment is a product of western society in that you have to be 'strong and independant'.
its very natural to feel things, and to just tell someone they are too sensitive can be damaging to the receiver. do not dismiss your sensitivity or try and hold it down. acknowledge it, realize that it is a gift and use it to benefit you.
if this is something your mother tells you often introduce her to a book called HSP: hyper sensitive person. something along the lines as that. i do believe she released a book for people who don't know how to deal with people who are more sensitive than themselves. i think the author's name is Elaine Aaron.

sorry i went on a bit of a rant here but i had my whole family tell me i was too sensitive growing up and it didn't help me one bit. you need to embrace it, not hate it.

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by danman85

So I've discovered that if I completely clear my head around other people, and truly listen to what they are saying, I can hear the way they structure their sentences and word choice, use tone inflections, and observe their body language to discover what they are really thinking/trying to say/imply. I can also tell if they're not being truthful, trying to manipulate someone else, being deceitful, ect. I can also tell if something truly inspires them by the particular words and body language. I can tell if someone is approaching me just because they want something, or if they are interested in finding out more about me, and other motives and things of the like. I would consider this to be a very physical form of empathy, and I am very thankful for it. On the other hand, it brings me me a lot of stress when I see someone doing and saying things that are intentionally hurtful to others, or if they're just being completely stubborn....or if they're just being a jerk because they want to be. It's to the point now where I'm actually annoyed or grim for a long time after an encounter with another. The stress doesn't come from the situation, the stress comes because I am a very vocally frank person. I say exactly what I'm thinking, and don't ever really care who does or does not want to hear it. Sometimes when I'm picking up on things like these, I want to say something like "that's not true, that completely contradicts what you said or did 3 days ago" or "you're just trying to get away from me, why don't you just go now." I don't ever say anything because it's thoughts that come to me somewhat intuitively, and for me to bring up deep personal issues that are affecting someone else is very intrusive, and can be quite offensive -- even if they are offending me. Can anyone help me with this? I'm really confused as to whether I am absorbing others' negative energy at the drop of a hat, or if I am just annoying myself because I'm holding back what I want to say. All in all, it just really bothers me because I find myself holding back, because I feel like what I say will be EXTREMELY offensive on an inner personal level to others. Why have a gift like this, and what to do with it?

I'm not saying you can't do what you say you can do, but unless you know exactly what's going on, you're assuming. Unless you write down all your observations, then question the person and compare all their answers, you really don't know how accurate you are.

Aside from that, I know how you feel when you see someone acting in a reprehensible way. Since I was picked on when I was young, today I feel that urge to jump up and put people in their place. I had to realize though, that it's not up to me to teach anyone anything. When you lash out at this type of behavior, not only does it not teach the person a lesson, it puts you into an awful argument with someone you may not even know. You are drawing their negativity into your life and probably wasting half the day thinking about how much of a jerk they were. Unless someone asks for your help, or they're being physically threatened, it's usually better to let whoever is in the situation handle it and stay out of it. I've also found that, if someone is doing something to me, unless it is a situation where they're physically harming me tor stealing from me, it's always better to smile, say excuse me and get away from them. Let them implode on themselves. By not reacting, you are taking the energy out of their sails. Does it really benefit you to "teach them a lesson?" No. It doesn't. Do you think other people standing around want to hear it or even care who's right? Usually, they would rather everyone just quiet down. You have to stop judging people and free your mind of the whole situation. It sucks the energy out of your life to even think about these people.

[danman85]

Originally Posted by Dannyboy1

I'm not saying you can't do what you say you can do, but unless you know exactly what's going on, you're assuming. Unless you write down all your observations, then question the person and compare all their answers, you really don't know how accurate you are.

Aside from that, I know how you feel when you see someone acting in a reprehensible way. Since I was picked on when I was young, today I feel that urge to jump up and put people in their place. I had to realize though, that it's not up to me to teach anyone anything. When you lash out at this type of behavior, not only does it not teach the person a lesson, it puts you into an awful argument with someone you may not even know. You are drawing their negativity into your life and probably wasting half the day thinking about how much of a jerk they were. Unless someone asks for your help, or they're being physically threatened, it's usually better to let whoever is in the situation handle it and stay out of it. I've also found that, if someone is doing something to me, unless it is a situation where they're physically harming me tor stealing from me, it's always better to smile, say excuse me and get away from them. Let them implode on themselves. By not reacting, you are taking the energy out of their sails. Does it really benefit you to "teach them a lesson?" No. It doesn't. Do you think other people standing around want to hear it or even care who's right? Usually, they would rather everyone just quiet down. You have to stop judging people and free your mind of the whole situation. It sucks the energy out of your life to even think about these people.

Duly noted. Thanks a lot, man!

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by danman85

Duly noted. Thanks a lot, man!

Trust me. It feels so much better to just stay out of all that drama.

[StarieEyed]

I have this also maybe not exactly but close and it makes me feel powerless b/c I WONT speak up, when ppl lie and I know its a lie it actually feels emberressing to me, not sure why but if I were to guess I think its b/c I know *I* would be emberressed if I were them and the other person knew I was lying.

I saw a great sermon last night from my fave pastor, and I think it may help, it does not matter if you are religious or even a part of his faith, it has the perfect message that helped me alot. Its about chosing battles...

https://www.joelosteen.com/Broadcast/Pages/index.aspx see when its on this week!