Bad dreams and IM

[achtungbaby91u2]

I've been going out with my girlfriend for some time now and we are deeply in love. I had used IM to attract a love in my life that would love me as long as i loved her, this was before i started dating my GF. After i had set out the intention i had her talking to me more and more and things just clicked. Anyways awhile later to where we are now, we talk about getting married all that good stuff. Every time were with each other we always have a good time. I am positive she is my soul-mate. The only thing is i have almost always had bad dreams about her leaving me at random times in my dreams. Usually for another guy and when i wake up from these bad dreams they leave me sad and confused. Is this bad? Are these dreams warnings? Telling me whats going to happen or is it somethin that just happens. i am really confused with this and i feel like from this i am making some bad vibes which will lead to something terribly bad in our relationship.
If you could help me it would be much appreciated. I want to stop this before it's too late.

[Eric Revelin]

It's possible that you're dealing with unconscious fears. If this woman is really your soulmate then that has to be the case. If she isn't then the dreams are alerting you before you get in too deep, which is something to be thankful for. It's hard when a relationship falls apart, especially when it's going wonderfully. However, if it's going to fail it's best that it happens early. It saves you a lot of time and heartache in the long run.

I'm saying that to emphasize this: no matter what happens you're gonna be alright. If you can find one woman you can always find another. If those visions are prophetic then take note of what leads up to the break up, learn from it and apply that knowledge in your next relationship. On the other hand, if you're aware that this is a possible future these visions may be exactly what you need to prevent it. Either way try to look at these dreams as a gift. If nothing else they are giving you an opportunity to explore and overcome latent fears.

Do some deep breathing exercises to calm your mind and body. Become centered. Turn your focus entirely toward something else for a while then start asking yourself some questions and take note of your emotional responses. "Has she given any indication that she would leave me?" "Am I insecure?" "Do I think I'm not good enough for her?" "Do I believe that true, lasting love is possible?" That may not yield the answers, but the principle behind this method is infallible: bypass your conscious thoughts and feelings and you'll be honest with yourself. You'll tell yourself everything you want to know when you make an effort to listen. Maybe you can do it through meditation, maybe you should try sitting down and allowing your thoughts to flow onto a piece of paper without interruption, maybe you just need to take a walk. I don't know if you've already done this, but you might also benefit from talking to her about the dreams you're having. If anyone can put your mind at ease through their words or actions, it's her.

The best advice I can give you is don't panic. Whatever you do, stay calm, centered, and rational about this. The amount of negativity you're creating won't be significant unless you obsess over the dreams and worry about what they might indicate. Remember that even the best prophecies only show probable futures. It's your thoughts and actions in the here and now that determine whether or not what you see will ever come to pass.

[achtungbaby91u2]

Thank you, i will try your advice hopefully it will help me before its too late. Do you think if she is meant to be all this energy still might break us apart? I mean i manifested her into my life, can't i just as well accidently manifest her out? See thats the confusing part for me every time i feel bad about thinking she's gonna cheat on me or etc. i think of how she's the one and how i mannifested her to love me for as long as i love her, but i always go to the conclusion to "what if she's not?" is that possible? im just so confused with everything.

[Eric Revelin]

Things are more robust than they might seem at first. Once you've actually manifested something there's usually enough energy and momentum behind it that it would require an energy exponentially stronger to break your desired reality apart. I think time is on your side. This isn't going to somehow undo all the good things you've created with her up to this point. At most it's making small ripples in the water. This is only a concern if you see signs that the relationship is heading in a bad direction or you become so obsessed with your fears that you begin to push it in that direction by your own efforts.

You're fortunate that real love is the hardest thing to break. Of course, you don't know that it's true love... That's one of the reasons you might want to mention your dreams to her. It might even be a good test. After all, your true soul mate would be willing to hear about your concerns and help you deal with them, even if they made her uncomfortable. Right? I'm not sure you specified that, but it would still give you an idea of how strong the bond currently is, which will give you a much better picture of how things will unfold. There's also the added benefit that two people in a relationship focusing in the same direction will strengthen the bond exponentially.

In other words, if you want to alleviate your doubts about whether or not she's your soul mate, think about what you expect from your soul mate and see if she lives up to it. If she does you've got nothing to worry about. If she doesn't you've got some thinking to do.

There are two things I want to emphasize. The first is, "Know Thyself." That involves knowing what you want from your soul mate but more than anything it means that you've got to know the source of your doubts. It isn't that hard to figure this out. When you do, take note of it. It'll be useful when you have to deal with doubts later on. (Remember, even life with your soul mate isn't always going to be a bed of roses. The best kind of romance will challenge you to grow in ways you never would otherwise.)

The second thing is... Huh. I lost my train of thought. Everything that's coming to mind is a repeat of previous paragraphs. You know, I think the post is just fine as it is so I'll leave it like this unless you need more help or I remember what I was thinking before I forgot. Forgot what? If I knew I'd tell you.

Which forum is this again?

[achtungbaby91u2]

Thank you very much

[Optimiste]

It seems to me that she is not your soul mate. If she was your soul mate you would be so fascinated, awed, and blessed by the intense emotions that you would feel, no matter what other says, no matter what fortune tellings indicate you would be determined, you would know it deeply and you would stay calm at your heart. You would think "Even if she leaves me I would be grateful for everything she shared with me. I would be grateful that she let me know how true love can be" Besides probably you would be flying of happiness in your dreams.

If my words have slightly shocked you think about what it means for you to be with a soul mate. Do you think that soul mates find each other and live happily forever? Wouldn't it be too simplistic... and... easy.... and ... err.. - boring - ? Are you aware of challenges that you may face? Are you ready to welcome every feeling that comes from her? Are you strong enough to see yourself through her eyes without any judgement? And are you curious about what her deepest needs are? Or are you trying to maintain a so called happy relationship that helps you escape from facing your true self?

If your main aim is to stabilize an emotional and biological state of well being, won't it be easier for you to find a drug that has no or tiny side effects? "If in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing floor, into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears." (The rest of these lines of the poem is below) Stabilization equals death. You must know that it is not what you truly want. (It was not a hard guess because if it was the case you wouldn't be a member of this forum at all) You want to explore the limits of your soul. You want to share this adventure with a soul that is motivated as much as you are. So, why fear the possibility that she can leave you? If she leaves, you still will be able to feel great emotions that will help you progress in your spiritual growth.



On Love (Kahlil Gibran 1923)

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep,
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire,
that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart,
and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say,
'God is in my heart,' but rather,
'I am in the heart of God.'
And think not you can direct the course of love,
for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night,
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

[wellbeing]

I know you already have much to think about from the other responses but I thought approaching your question from a different tack might be helpful.

Dreams are more often symbolic than prophetic. By this, I mean that it is rare that life unfolds as it does in our dreams. I do believe that dreams are important communications from our subconscious and the language of the subconscious is symbols.

Although there are symbols shared by and across cultures (Jung called these "archetypes"), I've found that dream symbols tend to be much more personal. Which is great, because you are living with the world's foremost expert in your dream symbols. (Meaning you!)

My suggestion would be to write down your dreams in as great detail as you can remember them as soon as you wake up. (This last bit is important as we tend to rewrite--or forget altogether--our dreams as we become fully conscious.) Leave the right-half of your page(s) blank as you record your dream. (More on this later.)

Sometime later (I like to get a bit of distance from the recording process), get as quiet, centered and open as you can and, as you reread what you've written, jot what comes into your mind in the blank half of the sheet. (The first thoughts are key.)

For me, I could imagine that the loss of your girl could represent something that I held dear, perhaps indicated by clothing or a piece of jewelry. Say, for me, if she was dressed like a medieval princess, she might represent to me that I was "losing" my out-dated notions of romantic love. Perhaps the rest of my dream might indicate to me how I was replacing those notions.

I hope this helps.