fun encounter

[amixa]

not really. so as my reiki practitioner is doing work on me + the detox i'm becoming more aware of things i am capable of.
i definitely am sure now i'm really sensitive to other's energies.
i boarded the bus this morning to work and i went and sat down like normal. i felt something a bit off.. and looked to the other side noticing a man staring at me. now i normally can tell when a person is 'just staring'.. or like a guy checking a girl out that kind of thing.. but this energy was a bit disconcerting. so i decided to ignore it.. get off the bus and continue onto the subway platform. this same man came and stood near by me.. with enough distance away but slowly moved closer as the train came. when i went to sit down he came and stood right opposite of my chair beside me to watch me through the clear glass. his energy was really off.. like not just some backed up guy but something more.. i really hate using these terms because i don't like to think of people like this but more deviant.
i had glanced up to see if he was actually there and he was.. staring at me. i decided to not give him my full attention and focus on my book.. and a couple stops later he got off.
when i did come out of the subway i did allow it to digest in my system and he made me feel like a target.

now i was feeling fine after the encounter but someone at work was listening to modern dissonant music which actually felt like it was almost describing his energy... and at first i liked it for its intelligence but after some time the music in background made me feel really urked. i feel like my solar plexus is just buzzing with anxiety now.


is this 'negative' energy just trying to scare me from cleaning myself through and through? just as some entities try and stop you? i'd like to know how to protect myself for not becoming a 'target' like i did this morning. is it just a case of drawing in my chakras?

update: ok. i feel stupid. so i'm in the middle of reading power of now by eckhart tolle.. and so he says surrender to everything .. as in accept everything that is.. so i decided to try it with this.. and now i'm extremely tired and feel really weak and hungry.

[Mato Kinze]

"The Path of the Warrior is a Path of Strength. To stand in the face of the enemy without flinching, without fear, is to stand in your own place - one from which you cannot be defeated."
Tsunka Witko (Crazy Horse)

A typical "male" response I suppose, but true nonetheless. A Warrior is equal to any challenger - Tonal or Spiritual. When we allow our fear of a challenge to dictate our actions, we fail.

What do you think would have happened if you'd acknowledged this "person's" stare? If you, in turn, had challenged him? When you shrink from a challenge you become a target - ask anyone who's ever been in a gang, in prison, or worked with other negative entities.

Fear of conflict only diminishes the person feeling the fear. Accepting the challenge and standing firm in its face increases us.

[amixa]

oh.. really.. ?
well I'm not sure I don't know if its just me but it seems to be the female thing to do not just because I'm passive.. but because we don't want to make it look like 'we're interested' .. as that seems to cause problems.. sometimes if you even glance at a guy they think you're interested.
I just didn't feel I was capable at dealing with his energy.. it just felt so strange.. I wasn't familiar.. and I'm new to sensing energy this easily.. it seemed like I didn't have the knowledge.. or felt like it anyway.
I have quite the death stare (so I'm told) and would gladly have given it to him if I knew that was the thing to do. While I was on the subway platform I had the sudden image of me beaming some sort of white beam at him throwing him to the other side of the platform.. I never think of things like this.. except when I was 14/15 I felt like I could do something like project energy out like that.. I never tried to go through with trying it out because I thought oh maybe its a little silly... and too supernatural
I mean Erin talks about things like that while she's astral projecting but this was the physical world.. and I don't astral project.

Anyway my reiki practioner managed to release a lot of fear that was pent up around my gut area.. and that area is now sore from this energy I've absorbed.. I feel like the freedom I had acheived has been clamped down with spikes.. its such an odd uncomfortable feeling compared to the recent empty expanded feeling I had felt this morning before I boarded that bus...

physically the rest of my body felt so limp for at least 2 hours after I 'absorbed' this buzzing energy around my solar plexus. my chest was really tight.. and my gut really really hurt. my arms just felt like spaghetti. I've gained back some of my strength now.. but I definitely do not feel as great..

[Mato Kinze]

Originally Posted by amixa

oh.. really.. ?
well I'm not sure I don't know if its just me but it seems to be the female thing to do not just because I'm passive.. but because we don't want to make it look like 'we're interested' .. as that seems to cause problems.. sometimes if you even glance at a guy they think you're interested.
I just didn't feel I was capable at dealing with his energy.. it just felt so strange.. I wasn't familiar.. and I'm new to sensing energy this easily.. it seemed like I didn't have the knowledge.. or felt like it anyway.
I have quite the death stare (so I'm told) and would gladly have given it to him if I knew that was the thing to do. While I was on the subway platform I had the sudden image of me beaming some sort of white beam at him throwing him to the other side of the platform.. I never think of things like this.. except when I was 14/15 I felt like I could do something like project energy out like that.. I never tried to go through with trying it out because I thought oh maybe its a little silly... and too supernatural
I mean Erin talks about things like that while she's astral projecting but this was the physical world.. and I don't astral project.

Anyway my reiki practioner managed to release a lot of fear that was pent up around my gut area.. and that area is now sore from this energy I've absorbed.. I feel like the freedom I had acheived has been clamped down with spikes.. its such an odd uncomfortable feeling compared to the recent empty expanded feeling I had felt this morning before I boarded that bus...

physically the rest of my body felt so limp for at least 2 hours after I 'absorbed' this buzzing energy around my solar plexus. my chest was really tight.. and my gut really really hurt. my arms just felt like spaghetti. I've gained back some of my strength now.. but I definitely do not feel as great..

With all due respect to your Reiki prationer, no one else can release Fear for you. They may help relieve the effects of Fear, they may help you recognize it's physical manifestations, but they cannot release it. Only you can do this.

Only when you accept that you are a powerful being and stronger than any attacker - physical, emotional, or spiritual - will you be able to stand in Your place.

I suggest taking up Aikido. It's a great art form that teaches one the power of being a small warrior. It instills in one a confidence in one's ability to not be impacted by attacks.

Also, "Places That Scare You" by Pema Chodron is a good Buddhist approach to conquering Fear. It's a little "heady" though, so if you don't like very dense reading material, "Beyond Fear" by don Miguel Ruiz is a lighter read but still very empowering. Beyond Fear approaches the topic from a Toltec perspective (which I'm biased towards) and is very "digestible".

Everything else aside, this is all about Fear. Until you conquer your fear, you will continue to be a target for negative energy.