Funny or frightening encounter with higher self - first post

[FrancesL]

Hello there. This is my first post to the forum, and I thought I'd start by sharing a strange thing that happened recently when I attempted to connect with my higher self for the first time...

I decided to attempt a meditation. I lay down, and started to go quickly through my chakras, spinning them a bit to get them clear and then opening them up wide and bright. When I got to my third eye chakra, my concentration wavered and I became distracted by random thoughts about my impending phone reading with Erin. I imagined that I was sitting at my desk, on the phone with Erin, when my housemate knocked on the door and then came into my room. I thought about how I could get her to go away without seeming to be rude to her, but also without disturbing the reading or letting Erin know that we had been interrupted, and without missing anything Erin was saying. The thought of having to deal with this situation made me feel anxious and irritated.

Eventually I pushed it away and continued on up to my crown chakra and opened it up. With all my chakras open, I began to try to visualise myself into a space. I found that I was on a sandy beach, which was pleasant, even though it was overcast. There was a stone bench on the beach, and I sat down on it. I noticed that I was wearing a white dress, which amused me. I thought this was really cheesy for a spiritual sort of a scene. So I imagined myself into my normal clothes instead. Then I said out loud, ‘I would like to meet my higher self and speak with her.’

Nothing came to me straight away except flickerings. I couldn’t get a lock on anything. I wondered if she would walk up the beach towards me; then I thought she was already on the bench. I saw a glimpse of blonde hair. I tried to concentrate on the space on the bench beside me. But, to my horror, what manifested next to me was not a living human person, but a skeleton, with scraps of blonde hair still sticking to its skull! It was wearing a white dress just like the one I’d had on. At first I was frightened. I thought, if this is my higher self, what’s wrong with me? Then I thought that perhaps I had connected with some sort of evil energy that was playing tricks. But after a few moments, instead of being frightened, I decided to laugh about it, and then just deal with it. I said out loud, ‘There is no way this skeleton is my higher self! I am going to bury her and then I want to talk to the real thing.’

I began to dig a huge hole in the sand. By the time it was deep enough, the tide had risen high up the beach, and some water was already filling up the bottom of the hole. I climbed out, picked the skeleton up in my arms (which was not as disgusting as you might think – she was very dry and light), and carried her over to the hole. I said something like, ‘God bless you and let you rest in peace,’ and then I laid her down in the hole and started to fill the sand in over her. When the grave was done I patted it down as much as I could and put some seashells and pebbles on top of it instead of a gravestone.

After all this, I suppose I had given up on meeting my higher self. I looked up and down the beach for a while, and even out to sea, in case she was coming, but nothing happened. Nobody appeared. By this time I had been meditating for about ten minutes. I let go of the visualisation and started to drift – I suppose I was getting sleepy. Strange nonsensical thoughts started to creep in, as if I was beginning to dream. None of them seemed like messages, though. Next thing you know, there was a knock on my door. I sat bolt upright and was about to call out, ‘Hello?’, when the door opened and my housemate came in! We talked for a few minutes, and then she went away again. It was only once she had gone that I realised she would have completely interrupted my conversation with my higher self if I had indeed managed to make contact in the first place.

So, what do you think? Did I just fail to connect with my higher self at all? Or did she send me a great big, ‘Now is not the right time for this, we’re going to get interrupted!’ message as soon as I opened my third eye chakra – and then gave me a skeleton instead of herself when I completely ignored the message and carried on with the meditation anyway? Or was it something else altogether?

Mysterious ways indeed...

[Anna Conlan]

Hi Frances, welcome to this forum!

It doesn't sound like a negative entity interfering with you. They tend to be genuinely scary and can leave you feeling disturbed and frightened. Also, you wouldn't have wanted to go anywhere near it in your meditation if it was a negative energy.

It could have been your Higher Self - or something else in you - communicating to you that it was not the right time to connect with her. If that's the case, that's quite an original and dark way of communicating it!

Or it could have symbolized something else? The first thing that comes to mind is transformation and change... Is there something (perhaps in you) you're saying goodbye to?

What do you feel it was intuitively?

[FrancesL]

Hi Anna. Thank you for your response. I'm also in the UK. Quite honestly, I don't feel certain about what it was, but you're right that it wasn't scary, which leads me to think it was either my own imagination, or a benign message that this was a bad time. I'm very new to all of this and finding it difficult to distinguish between the two: I guess that's something everybody struggles with, especially at first. I have a very vivid, developed imagination because of the work I do, and I wonder whether this is an asset or an interference when it comes to spirit... On the whole I feel like this was a curious, quite funny experience, and it certainly hasn't put me off trying. I'll get to talk to her one day.

*** I see you've edited your post to include a couple of other things, so I'll respond to those too. The idea of reading it symbolically had not occurred to me at all. But now that you've said it... hmm. I am certainly at a moment of decision in my life, in terms of ending or salvaging a situation. Perhaps this was me burying my old self? After all, we were wearing the same dress. This also reminds me of something that happened last week. I was trying to connect with one of my spirit guides and he said to me, out of the blue, 'You're dead.' (I mean, I think it was him... the same uncertainties about my imagination apply!) I asked him what he meant and he said I was stuck and lifeless, which is true, but a lot less harsh and impactful than the idea of being 'dead'. These things do seem to relate to one another; although I need to be cautious about forcing connections here. Anna, thank you so much for helping me to think this through. The more I consider it, the more there seems to be.

[Erin Pavlina]

One thing I always recommend to people trying to contact their guides or higher self is to open your chakras, like you did, but then imagine going up either on a staircase or in an elevator or flying etc. Just go up. This will raise your frequency which will allow you access the guides and higher self more easily and more clearly. You may have simply been broadcasting your intent at too low a frequency and got a lower vibrational being, not necessarily negative, maybe more neutral.

Try it again and go up first.

[FrancesL]

Thanks Erin. I'll definitely do that next time.