Recurring thoughts about 'demons'

[Ceros]

(Note that when I say 'demon' I don't specifically mean a biblical demon, but something for which the description 'demon' fits with me).

For quite a long time I've been having recurring thoughts of demons.

Just... thoughts.

Like, sometimes the word "demon" just pops up into my mind, or choosing an MSN name with 'demonic' connotations, or just looking up pictures or websites on a similar topic.

Even the name "Ceros" I choose partially because it can be read like Russian 'sera' or 'sulphur'.

I had several dreams figuring demons (nightmares that left me waking up in terror), and practically every dream I had in the past nine or so months was based around villains - Either observing someone else's villainy, or more often with me taking the role of a "villain" myself.
The latter of which were always pleasant and based around my inner desires.

The past few days I've been making a conscious effort into finding my life purpose (I always had a vague idea of what my true purpose was, but right now I intend to pin point exactly what it is) and these thoughts keep recurring with greater strength and intensity than ever before.

I feel that the reason these thoughts are there is to show me something vital that I have either repressed or ignored up to now. As if pointing me towards a certain blind spot in myself that I must acknowledge and deal with as soon as possible.

But... what is it? I feel like I lack the data or knowledge to understand what this blind spot is, or how it's connected with the word "demon".

[Angela]

Maybe they are like what I call "gremlins" -- repetitive negative thought patterns. We program these thoughts so deeply into our psyches that we become convinced that what the gremlins have to say is "just how things are -- just how life is."

You know how you kill a gremlin? You shine a light on it. You look boldly at it -- that's all you have to do. A repetitive negative thought pattern can't survive Awareness. They'll try like hell to hang on, though!

[Ceros]

Hmm, I think I know what you mean. I do have those occasionally - like I think of myself as "worthless" or "pathetic" - usually because of some dissatisfaction with the way my life has been for the past few months, and my (so far) inability to change that.

But they usually have a specific source and solution in mind, like "If I'm able to attain more financial security I'll stop feeling so miserable".

The demon stuff is... just there.

No matter how much I've thought about or analyzed it I can't discern the source of why its there.

It's as if the answer blocked by a huge wall in my mind, with the word 'demon' written on it. (that's why I suspect repression - since I can't consciously understand what's behind it);

[AWOL]

Yeah, those things are weird. i've had them before, in case you were wondering. I generally find that they have something to do with another thing that you know about, but can't see the connection. For example, I've had the demon one. A few weeks earlier we had found out we'd be getting a sub. Guess what. The sub was an absolute *****. A demon.