Boyfriend not talking with me in my dreams

[Shorebird]

Hi

My boyfriend was my classmate. At school we never talked. I never knew his feelings. We had a common language subject which comprised of 8-9 students and so there was unity in the whole group. We enjoyed as a group. In fact I talked with all except him and that was because I thought he does not like me and does not want to talk. After school we were living our own ways.

And after school I found that all other friends left me and the reasons they gave were that I was very serious, I was not sporty, I was introvert, I was not able to chat constantly, I was meek. Well I believe that in friendship, we accept others the way they are. That was a development stage we all were in. Maybe I was a bit slower than them. And I do not have any hard feelings for them. I'm mentioning this to find out if their behaviour has got to do something with my dreams which I will mention below.

Now after 6 years of leaving school, my boyfriend contacts me and proposes me. He said he could never talk with me at school because whenever he tried to, he became nervous. And the reason for his nervousness was that I was very studious. He always used to score much less marks and so he never gathered the courage b4. He adds that now he is more confident and so is able to tell me now that he likes me.

But I am fed up of my dreams where I see that I am in the same group of friends and he is not talking with me. In my dreams, I think that what has happened to him now...now we know each other...so why is not he talking with me?

It has been seven years we are in a relationship. Still I have such dreams. And those are very frequent. What do they mean?

[Shorebird]

Any thoughts please?

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Shorebird, I am not sure I understand you completely. Have you been in a relationship with him from the time you were in school until now? Or have you not been in contact since you got out of school?

In any case I think sometimes our dreams reflect our fears or insecurities, things we think deep down.

[Shorebird]

We completed and left our school 13 years back(in 1995). Our relationship started after six years of leaving the school(in 2001). We are in relationship since seven years.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

And how has your relationship been for the past seven years? Do you communicate well now?

If it is good overall I would definitely say those dreams are just old pain and insecurities coming to you.

Try a meditation before bed asking not to have any unpleasant dreams about him not talking to you.

I am not sure, but to me they have no deeper meaning than that. If someone else has another description, I'd like to hear it too.

[Shorebird]

We are doing very well in our present relationship. I am very comfortable and happy whenever I'm with him. He cares for and understands me. I can never think of him not talking with me. In fact this fear is never there when I'm awake. He never treats me like others have treated me in the past. I don't know how come this fear pops in my dreams.

I know it is because of some insecurity. Maybe its because he never talked with me before our relationship started (at school) or its because other friends have left me. I don't know which one is the cause. But I would like to know how to solve the problem.

Again I would like to say that I never think anything about this at daytime. Never. This is the first time I'm giving it some thought while I'm awake, that is, while posting in this forum.

After having such a dream, I always say to myself that everything is okay and we have such a beautiful relationship. And then I'm back to normal.

But what to do with the dreams? They are so painful. So will I be having such dreams forever?

Yes, I will meditate before sleeping. Definitely I have to do something....