Connections with people

[konfused]

I'm having problems and I don't know what to do anymore. In my dreams I'm haunted by my ex. She won't leave me alone! At first I thought it was just me having dreams because I still missed her or whatever, but now I'm pretty sure that she's doing this intentionally to me. My story is long but I really need some advice.

First I'll tell you about our relationship. It was very unhealthy. We did a lot of drugs and stayed high constantly. A lot of crazy things happened with her. She read my mind on several occasions. She knew things that there's no other possible way she could know. At the time it fascinated me and I loved this girl so much I would have done just about anything for her. I did do a lot for her. She was great at manipulating me but I never saw it. Not until I got in a fight over her and spent some time in jail. And even then I still didn't want to see it. I'm not the kind of person to get into fights at all. I'm the complete opposite, I hate fighting. But I wasn't myself when I was with her.

We were together for about a year and a half, and we lived together for almost that whole time. We never spent any time away from each other until the 2 weeks that I was in jail. But my parents got me out and made me move back in with them. She didn't like that, so she left me. Thank God for that. She just quit talking to me. She left me in debt also. It took me a very long time to get over her and start seeing other girls, but eventually I did.

And I met someone else and started falling in love with her. Around this same time my ex contacted me through myspace. I decided to see her again which was a huge mistake. I ended up sleeping with not only her, but also her new gf. This happened two nights in a row. Obviously this was not a good idea, but I was stupid and I gave in to the lust. I also had a long conversation with her gf about all of the lies my ex had been telling her. I tried to save her but she didn't want to be saved so I let it go. She told my ex everything I said to her which as you can imagine really pissed her off.

I quit talking to them both and for the second time I had to get over not only her, but also her new gf. Seeing someone being used and controlled like that and knowing that there's not a damn thing I can do about it killed me. But I moved on again and tried to fix things with the other girl I had been seeing. Then one night she had a dream about my ex, and I could tell that this dream really scared her. She didn't want to get close to me for a long time after that. She didn't even know my ex yet she had this crazy dream about her.

Then I started having dreams myself. These dreams are intense. When I wake up from them I'm always really depressed. It's like breaking up with her all over again every time it happens. She'll come to me and tell me that she still loves me and then kiss me. That's all I ever remember. Sometimes I don't even remember that, I just know that she came to me in my dreams.

I remember reading an analogy about our connections with other people. It was something like we're attached by an invisible string to certain people. And you can pull on the string and get that person's attention without actually talking to them. I have this type of connection with another ex of mine. I don't need a phone or myspace to contact her. I just ask her in my head to call me and soon she will. Even if we don't talk for six months it's always there. Tonight she told me that the way she knows to call me is that she sees me in her dreams.

This lead me to the realization that if I can have that connection with her that it's possible and even likely that I have this same type of connection with my psychotic ex. I feel like she's using this connection in some way to hurt me in my dreams. I'm so scared of having dreams about her now that I don't like to sleep anymore. Is there anything I can do to cut this off and keep her from messing with me? I really miss having dreams.

[Old Soul]

Before you go to bed, make mental notes that this relationship has indeed ended, use visualisation to help you to.... ie) visualise yourself holding an open book, then close it, or walk through a door and close it, little images like this..., also in your mental thoughts, recognise that the relationship is over... that you longer are going to allow any dreams contrary to what you know to be true now...

eventually your dreams will line up with the visualising that you are doing before you go to sleep...., if you are able to control a dream ( I can do this sometimes) make the dream line up to what you want,

Ive used this approach and it has worked for me... it was not the same situation as yours but I really do not believe that it matters

Good luck!!

[konfused]

My gf told me to imagine myself in a bubble and that it's protecting me. I tried this but I don't feel like it's working. I imagine light around me, but it doesn't work. I asked for angels to come help me. I asked them to cut whatever string is connecting us. Then she was there in my head and I talked to her. I told her to leave me alone and she wasn't going to control me anymore. She's trying really hard to fight against this. I feel like it will end soon though. I also feel like I should get a crystal to protect me. I've felt the need to get one for awhile but I've ignored it for some reason.

Or maybe I'm just insane? I sound like it. But I don't think that's it.

[Kaspian]

Here's something I wrote months ago that you might find useful. It's got several simple, but effective ideas.

It’s important to me to keep my energy clear because when I do, I feel better, think more clearly, hear my intuition more easily, and take that clear thinking, optimism, and intuition into the world more effectively. If I neglect to keep it clear, I tend to pick things up that interfere with my well-being, and I might feel a vague sense of unease that taints my good mood and my outlook on life. Often there’s no obvious explanation for the unease—nothing more than watching a movie that disturbed me, reading the newspaper, or spending a lot of time around one person or small group of people. Regardless of the source–or lack of source–there are several things I can do to clear it and return to my usual optimism.

One thing I can do is take a shower. As the water runs down my body, I imagine it washing away all thoughts, feelings, vibes, impressions, and energy that has a negative influence on me, whether it comes from other people, the movie, the news, or elsewhere.

Sometimes I detect that I have picked up too much of someone else’s thinking patterns. In that case, I’ll go to “my room.” My room is a mental space that I use to be truly alone. Usually it appears with white walls, one large window on each wall, a door, and no furniture. I doubt that the bareness is necessary, but that’s how it first appeared in my mind, so I’ve kept it that way.

I quiet my mind and enter my room. If I’ve been to a party, talked at length on the phone, spent a lot of time with someone, or whatever, than often those people I’ve had contact with are in my room when I arrive. I greet each person, tell them I care about them, explain that I need to be alone, give them a hug, and escort them out the door. Occasionally, I have to be particularly firm or insistent; I simply repeat that I care, restate that I need to be alone, give him or her a hug, and request that he or she leaves. When I’m done, the room is empty, and I know that my energy is clear.

A friend of mine has a similar type of exercise. At the end of each day, she visualizes each of the people she’s been in contact with, gives them a hug, and says, “I forgive you.” It doesn’t matter that with most of those people, the interactions have been positive, it releases any possible energetic hold.

Another option is to do a chakra cleansing. I’m most familiar with the meditation posted by Erin Pavlina. Each chakra has a location and color: root–red, sacral–orange, solar plexus–yellow, heart–green, throat–blue, third eye–indigo/purple, and crown–violet/white. Starting at the root chakra, she visualizes each one as a disk of colored energy spinning clockwise, as if it’s rotating around a pole that goes through her body from head to foot. The centrifugal force flings off anything foreign, negative, or interfering. Once the chakra is spinning freely and clear of junk, she moves to the next chakra and repeats the process. If you do it regularly, the process can take less than a minute.

If there’s a particular emotional state or issue that’s interfering with my well-being, I can address it specifically. Often, I’ll choose to imagine a being of goodness and light drawing the negative feeling out of my body, as if to unravel a piece of knitting by tugging on one end of the yarn. The being of light pulls the thing out, hand over hand, until there’s nothing left. He and I both understand that the removal will be painless, easy, and cause no harm, and he takes the pile of string away for healing and/or transmutation.

[stellasky]

This is my story, a bit different than yours, as I left the country and bf, but still had feelings for him, I went back to his country for a visit, he broke up with me 6 hours before my flight back, he's refused to talk to me for years..

I have about three years of dreams and visions as a result of a break up. We had a love and business relationship, the exbf’s refused to speak with me since the break up.
I tried many things, with and without the help of practitioners to heal. I learned alot, too much to write here. I understand being emotionally connected and the not letting go statements that most people respond quickly to. I must say hearing you haven't "let go" really got my goat, as it never felt completely accurate. When I decided to investigate other possible reasons, I found they were more in accordance to what I intuitively felt.

I would get strange dreams, that I firmly concluded were not of my doing, not wishful thinking, nor fear based anxiety. This was quite difficult to discern, as most advice would like me to believe otherwise.

I also went down the constructive path by sending positive energy, clearing both our auras, cutting cords...it didn't help. I even had a Chinese doctor recommend cutting the cords for me, but when he heard that the ex and I had recent positive email contact, he immediately said no, that we should wait until the time was absolutely sure.

There was more positive email contact, after which I was overcome with feelings of joy, love and positive feeling, to the point I'd have to lie down. My 6th, 5th and 4th Chakras were connected, ”punch drunk in love”. Yes, this could have been all my own doing, but the power felt bigger than mine alone.

I spoke to a Christian pastor about it, he felt I needed to tell the ex how I felt, no matter what the outcome. I wasn't convinced this was the right move, considering I invited ex to chat 6 months prior and he said he wasn't ready but would be soon. But, I decideded to take the pastor's advice and emailed him telling him I wanted to know if we could be friends, get to knwo each other again.
I prayed to Jesus, and heard a voice tell me "it's his choice, if he chooses not to talk to you, you have to "release him".
That day, I received a very negative response from the ex.


I mulled over the words, "I had to release him", and thought but I’d done that so many times before, cutting the cords on my own and then realized, we were both connected, it wasn’t just me to him, it was also him to me…
A spiritual practitioner said an interesting thing, not only is it my thoughts that keep the connection alive, it’s also his thoughts. If he had really moved on or let go, I wouldn’t be able to receive his thoughts.

I'd always concluded, we had powerful bonds, spiritual, spoken bonds, contractual agreements both in this life and in past lives and that his "ego" wasn't allowing him to be honest with me. I firmly believed that he thought about me which is why I was overwhelmed with thoughts of him.

I've never been an obsessive person, quite the opposite concerning breakups. This was so different, I'd done so much to "move on", "let go", moved to another country, changed many things, went back to college, started a new career…but felt as if I were being forced to obsess about him. That some force wanted this, maybe it wasn’t even the exbf?
When I realized this I looked for Christian ways to deals with this and found detailed information in tune with my feelings and began the process of exorcising the bonds, agreements and or possible entities that may have been interfering.

I emailed the ex and asked that he remove me from his thoughts, not email me anymore, I wished him well and said we could speak on the phone if he wanted to in the future.

I prayed to Jesus for two weeks straight several times a day asking for relief and experienced a very powerful event, where my body was tingling starting from my feet up, like electricity. This happened again. After two weeks, I felt free, sane, didn’t think about him. It’s been 7 months since and I’ve made more positive changes. I do think about him every so often but don’t feel any obsessive thoughts.

Conclusion: No matter what anyone says, you have to follow your own “gut”.

[Billy]

Some people are naturally good dreamwalkers, they display a high will potential and the psychological awareness to invade others dreams sometimes without even knowing it, but at other times they purposfully invade the space of others through their dreams but that is a rare thing that only occurs if they have the control and awareness to acheive this. The best time for them to enter is in the other persons penultimate or last two hours of their sleep cycle when they are at their most vulnerable energetically. I used to live next door to a woman who constantly invaded my dreams, she was a powerfull dreamwalker who could get in constantly but she had no awareness that she was doing so i'm sure otherwise things would have played out differently because i was always getting into arguments with her and her bf for whatever reason popped up at the time, and seeing how she was always so vindictive she surely would have tried some tricks to annoy me. To properly enter a persons dream you should be awake at the time and know what time the target regularly wakes up, so as to draw them at about two hours before they do. This allows for the person entering to have the highest awareness possible in order to control the situation, dark magic can be done in a persons dreams and it is an evil thing to do so since it is the realm of mind and the person who has the most awareness and the will and intent can create psychological harm to the other. I know a healer who regularly enters the dreams of her students andd reminds them to perform certain tasks for her spiritual healing courses and since she is a light worker it is only for the most benign purposes and never to control another. To walk others dreams requires awareness will and intent and also to protect oneself requires these things or outside intervention by many possible agencies ie: guides angels or humans.