I'm Scared of the Dark

[m18pak]

I've slowly converted to the Subjective Reality mindset over the last year or so, and as such I now believe in all things supernatural. I now believe that ghosts, vampires, shape-shifters etc all exist and are out there.

Which is why I'm now scared of the dark; or, to be more specific, opening windows at night.

Lately, I have been getting a sense of imminent danger at night: I feel as though I'm about to get attacked by something evil very soon and my subconscious is trying to warn me.

It's a feeling just beyond my awareness, a thought slithering just beneath my consciousness. I mean, I write this all down now and it just looks stupid, but...the feeling is still there.

I'm afraid to open windows at night now because I keep getting this feeling that something, a claw, maybe, is going to reach out and grab my hand; in fact I'm afraid to even go near windows because I keep expecting to see a face pressed up against the window outside.

I once encountered this girl on the Internet who told me a story about how she once was at a train station and about to get on her train when she suddenly felt like there was a voice screaming at her, saying "stay away! stay away!" And she was freaked out and actually did run away. She was watching the news later that night and it said that the train she had been about to board had crashed that day.

I haven't had anything as strong and clear as that happen to me. Mostly it's just been a sort of nervous unease, the sort you get when you feel like someone is watching you behind your back.

So basically, should I be taking this seriously? I mean, I don't know how to say this without it sounding...ridiculous, but I sometimes get this inexplicable idea in my head, from seemingly out of nowhere, that I did something horribly evil in my last lifetime, like sacrificing-someone-in-a-deal-with-demons evil, and now the malefic forces/energies I summoned back then are now coming back to hunt me down.

I mean, I realise how this must all sound, but I don't know. I feel like I could be a latent psychic. I seem to be able to channel energy to manifest things more easily than normal people, and I have a very strong urge to become a psion; it feels quite natural to me, and ever since I discovered all of this I've sort of just "known" that I would eventually become one down the line (I'm only starting out right now) which is why I think I might have latent psychic potential.

What do you guys think I should do? Am I just going crazy? How do you know if you're psychic and having premonitions? or if you've just been watching too many horror movies and reading too many horror novels and have a overactive imagination?

And what has really been troubling me is: is the fact that I'm giving so much conscious attention to this going to go towards making it come true? Am I drawing this towards me by thinking about it?

Help?

[Ninja]

"I once encountered this girl on the Internet who told me a story about how she once was at a train station and about to get on her train when she suddenly felt like there was a voice screaming at her, saying "stay away! stay away!" And she was freaked out and actually did run away. She was watching the news later that night and it said that the train she had been about to board had crashed that day."

That could've been me . When did you chat with this girl? What site? Was it Dutch?

ontopic: I do not know what exists and what does not. I'm not afraid of vampires, but is that because I don't believe they exist? I'm not sure. We experience the strangest things in our dreams, but who says that the 'waking world' isn't nothing but a dream? I don't think we can comprehend the true face of reality, our minds are just too limited in our current 'mortal' state. We can't even comprehend just how long a distance a lightyear is. Try it. I guarantee you'll fail.

So then what? Let's say, for the sake of arguement, that all those monsters and demons you mentioned do exist. Will worrying help? Will you be able to fight them? ALL of them? Should you even bother? If today you were diagnosed with a fatal illness that will kill you in three weeks, would you still live in fear of vampires visiting in the night? Or would you be curious and strike up a conversation? Why not do so without the diagnosis? I'd be a shame to miss such an opportunity, only to flee in panic, bolt out of the house and get run over by a bus, so to speak. Let go of your fears and they'll let go of you.

[m18pak]

That could've been me . When did you chat with this girl? What site? Was it Dutch?

It was on DeviantArt, and we weren't chatting; she, or maybe, you, told this story in a forum post that I read.

She also said that she had a near-death experience when she was very little when she fell through a hole in the ice and heard a voice telling her to return to her body, and after that she was never the same again. Does that ring any bells?

Come to think of it, I do think she was Dutch - it'd explain the ice story.

[Ninja]

Originally Posted by m18pak

It was on DeviantArt, and we weren't chatting; she, or maybe, you, told this story in a forum post that I read.

She also said that she had a near-death experience when she was very little when she fell through a hole in the ice and heard a voice telling her to return to her body, and after that she was never the same again. Does that ring any bells?

Come to think of it, I do think she was Dutch - it'd explain the ice story.

*blink* *blink* *blink* *twitch*

Was her nickname "Sanne-chan"?

[m18pak]

Yeah, it was.

Wow, what a small world, huh?

[Ninja]

Originally Posted by m18pak

Yeah, it was.

Wow, what a small world, huh?

Sure is

How many pages did the Internet have again?

[EmilOsterstrom]

And what has really been troubling me is: is the fact that I'm giving so much conscious attention to this going to go towards making it come true? Am I drawing this towards me by thinking about it?

From my experience I would say: yes, you are drawing it towards you by thinking of it. Remember the law of attraction. It works in every area.

A while ago I got engaged with the paranormal "too much, too fast at once" and I had to stop with everything that had to do with it in order to "get back" and stop being "afraid of the dark"...
Now, a half year later I am getting back, slowly, and it's not a big deal anymore... :)

[Carl Carlson IV]

Originally Posted by Ninja

Sure is

How many pages did the Internet have again?

Wow that's really crazy and awesome! Small world indeed.

Not to hijack or anything (it is kinda related since OP mentioned it) what exactly did you experience when you didn't board the train? That kinda stuff fascinates me.

[Ninja]

Originally Posted by Carl Carlson IV

Wow that's really crazy and awesome! Small world indeed.

Not to hijack or anything (it is kinda related since OP mentioned it) what exactly did you experience when you didn't board the train? That kinda stuff fascinates me.

I live in the Netherlands and going to school/college/university/work by train is very normal here. In fact, students even get to travel for free. So every morning, there's the same routine: get up, eat, get dressed, catch the train. It never changes and I basically do it on autopilot without second thought. But one particular morning as I was about to sleepwalk into the train (I wasn't an early riser yet back then and hated mornings ), I suddenly felt a surge of panic. It's hard to explain, but i just had this feeling as if someone was screaming in my ear "get out! Get out! Get out!" I didn't really hear it, but I felt it. Makes no sense, I know

Anyway, I just knew I should NOT board that train. You could've put a gun to my head and I still wouldn't have boarded it. I turned around, ran home like an idiot and told my parents I felt like I had cought the flu (I didn't want to worry them) and had decided to stay home from college. When I watched the news later that day, I saw that the train had derailed and crashed. There were no fatal casualties, since most people had sat in the back, but the front wagon was crushed and I ALWAYS walk al the way through the front wagon, because I don't like crowds. I'm pretty sure someone was watching over me that day...

[Beloved]

I know the feeling of being afraid to look out windows in case there is something there even the feeling something is going to grab through an open window.
In one house I lived in the only toilet was in the laundry outside the house, at night I used to get a vision of a man standing on the other side of the closed door. I would stand there with my hand on the door, with this terrifying vision in my head, for ages before forcing myself to open the door. If it wasn't for the fact I had a baby in the house I probably wouldn't have been able open that door. It got so bad I couldn't go out there at night.

In this house one night I was at the computer and heard my cat scratching at the window next to me to be let in. I walked straight to the laundry door and opened it. As I opened it and was about to stick my head out to call the cat to the door, I heard "DON'T LOOK OUT, SHUT THE DOOR, DON'T LOOK OUT!". I slammed the door shut, locked it and quickly shut the blinds. I left the laundry quickly and raced around checking the doors, as I was doing it the cat came out of my bedroom at the front of hte house.



Talk about the train crash has brought a story to mind.

Years ago my father-in-law who does have anxiety problems, changed trains at a station, he had been feeling anxious but as soon as he got on the second train his anxiety blew skyhigh. He thought he was going to die and managed to get back off the train.
Just before the next stop the train derailed and hit a bridge, which fell and crushed carriages, killing many people in Australia's worse train accident.

My grandfather was on a train many, many years ago and he felt as if something was wrong so got up to see. He could have just looked out the window but he went to the door. At those times you could open the doors in a moving train and he opened it to look out, noticed another train coming on the same track. When they hit he was thrown out and survived. The people he had been sitting with died.

[Jennihul]

Those things aren't real. Figments of your active mind.

If a philosophy, idea or ideal makes you mentally ill, you shouldn't go there.

You have decided to "believe" in SR. For your own sake, just decide to "believe" in something that isn't harming your mind.

Jennifer

[m18pak]

Beloved, do you actually think that there is something out there that's stalking me?

I guess in the end all I can really do is to pray and have faith.

[Ninja]

Personally, I don't really think count Dracula is hiding in your rosebushes, but you could be attracting negative energy and energy can be interpreted in many ways. You give it a shape because you're uncapable of seeing it's real form, and that shape depends on your believes. That's why you would probably see negative energy as a vampire, while I might see that same energy as a giant wasp. Negative energy attracts negative energy, so try to become more balanced in your life. That will make 'them' lose their grip.

[m18pak]

Ninja, that's really weird, how did you know it was a vampire?

I never said anything about a vampire.

And yeah, about what you said, you're right. I came to the same conclusion tonight as well: that I am manifesting it with my mind.

This is strange: it's like our minds are linked in some way.

[Ninja]

Originally Posted by m18pak

Ninja, that's really weird, how did you know it was a vampire?

I never said anything about a vampire.

And yeah, about what you said, you're right. I came to the same conclusion tonight as well: that I am manifesting it with my mind.

This is strange: it's like our minds are linked in some way.

I'm not sure how I knew, it just popped up in my mind for some reason.

Strange, but quite interesting if you ask me

[chaostheory]

Stop being paranoid and get yourself a nightlight.

[Amatrine]

Mabey its just because you are more relaxed at night. I am very sensative to energy . I can see an auro in everything and everyone without second thought. I didnt even know thats what that was for a long time. Thought it was normal to see that kind of thing. Anyway, I too at night can be
apprehensive. When I am relxed, I INSTANTLY become sensative to the energy around me. I can see it , in that it looks like what a tv screen looks like when you have static, but its not black and white. When in a dark quiet room, it becomes heavier, and it use to scare the begezzzus out of me, and I would turn on the light. I used to get the sense that someone would appear if I look at it too long, and still do,lol .. But at night, that is when I meditate,
and when I am close to what you may call God, the universe, .... the spirit.
I draw energy, and when I concentrate on good energy , pray, and meditate,
the fear goes away, as the does the heavy feeling in the room. When I give into fear, the negative energy increases, and I have seen a few scarey things. I even had what was a horse appear outside my window in Phoenix AZ metro area. ( NO HORSES HERE) my cat saw it, and was hissing, I thought it was a real horse, and went to look at it and watched it completly disapear into a vapor. I wasnt afraid of it, but started thinking it meant someone was going to die or something, and that scared me. Ironcily great aunt died a week later, of a sudden anuurism, but we wernt close, so I dont think that was it. Anyway, you are probably just more sensative to the energy around you, and even if it is good energy,but you do not know what it is,
can cause fear. I have decided in my quest for answers , not to ignore it anymore. Fear kept me from ignoring it. Now I want answers, even if they scare me. So I look at it, do not turn on the light, and leave the room.
As a result so far I have had some pretty instense dreams, one that evenforetold something I could not have made up , and would not have wanted to. It almost destroyed my marrige, and I saw it in my dream a week before . Like a warning. I confronted my husband after the dream, (it wasnt an affiar dream, something really wierd and personal) and asked him , and he had this blank stare, and denied it, but asked what I would do if it was true?
A week later, I walk in on him in this percariouse situation. He told me he now
does not blow off this stuff I tell him about energy,or God, or Guides as whacky anymore, there must be something to it.

Anway, sorry for the long winded post. I am a green auro, and really to the tee on what it means, and I can get longwinded

Do not fear it. Fear is what attracts the negative. Just focus on all that is good .

Ama

[Alyssa]

hey man
I'm afraid of the dark like mad too
and this only just happened recently
but don't worry, your not crazy
you just have to slowly overcome your fear of the dark
Just think about how your smarter than anything else out there

maybe you have some kind of psychic instinct (clairs)

[Alyssa]

and for your past life
maybe something horrible happened to you in the dark or something so like you sub-consciously paranoid
maybe you weren't evil