Ways to overcome shyness ?

[dennis08]

When I am at school and I am being called on by the teacher or talking to someone and everyone is listening in I tend to say stupid stuff.

It’s usually because I’m nervous but is there any way I can stop doing this because it just comes out without me thinking about it.

Also I’m shy around people and want to stop making nervous gestures when someone is looking at me. Like these girls that sit across from me on the side of the room that’s all girls.

[Shamou]

dennis08! If you and I can find a sure fire way of overcoming shyness... we'll be instant millionaires...

However, let me ask you this, "Could it be that you are shy because you think that who you are is not quite good enough... and that you think that you should perform better in front of other people...???"

If so, just remember that you, just like everybody else, are unique... you have your faults and shortcomings just like everyone else... but you also have your own personal qualities... and, if they are allowed to shine through... people will love and accept you with open arms...

So, in one word... "be yourself..." that's more than good enough...

The very best of luck to you...
.

[dennis08]

Shamou thanks for the advice

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by dennis08

Shamou thanks for the advice

You are very welcome my friend...
.

[realignedliving]

Practice in front of the mirror. Just spend 15 minutes per day practicing talking to yourself! It sounds totally dorky, but it works wonders for several reasons:

• You can practice your responses to basic questions before they come up;
• You can stage entire conversations in your head to be prepared;
• You can actually see how you look to other people when you speak, and cut back on "annoying" habits you might have.
• You can practice simple stuff - smiling, laughing, etc. - and look good to other people since you know how you'll really look.

Overall, practice builds confidence, and confidence will make the shyness go away. I know this method sounds stupid and has been talked about forever, but give it a try! It really does work. If you're not sure how to practice in front of a mirror effectively, I have a blog post on how to practice and get results that you might find useful. Good luck!

[Brutha]

Also I’m shy around people and want to stop making nervous gestures when someone is looking at me. Like these girls that sit across from me on the side of the room that’s all girls.

The more you want to stop to make nervous gestures the more nervous gestures you will make. You need to shift your focus.
Work on feeling confident instead of on not behaving shy.

[Amandaaa]

i've always been shy, too...and i have no idea how to overcome it.

i'm good one-on-one or in small groups of people, but i haaaaaaate having to talk in front of the entire class.
hate hate hate it.

the only thing you can do to make yourself less nervous is to know the answers. haha.
and even if your answer is wrong, people don't really care.... the teacher will probably just use your comment as a starting point for class discussion.
and even if you laugh nervously, a lot of girls will think it's endearing.
it's cute.

but like Brutha said, you should work on feeling confident.
don't think about how "shy" you are... just do things to make yourself feel more confident in your skin.

also, if you're reeeally really nervous, it helps to have a friend around.
i was always the shy girl in school, but being surrounded by other girls made me feel less nervous. ..because your friends will always back you up and laugh with you. (which eventually makes you more comfortable on your own).

[NotesMaeve]

Originally Posted by dennis08

When I am at school and I am being called on by the teacher or talking to someone and everyone is listening in I tend to say stupid stuff.

It’s usually because I’m nervous but is there any way I can stop doing this because it just comes out without me thinking about it.

Also I’m shy around people and want to stop making nervous gestures when someone is looking at me. Like these girls that sit across from me on the side of the room that’s all girls.

Girls/women are the easiest ones to talk to! I know! I am one!

A few things:

1) Know everytime you walk into a room, you have something someone would kill a kitten to have. Subtly, let them know it's yours and always will be.

2) When someone is looking at you and you feel nervous, say, "Hi." It snaps the tension. Freaky being staring moment over.

[ken nubo]

This is a bit extreme but ...

Social pressure make people do what they don’t wanna do, from teens conforming to a dress fashion to adults who feel the need to do financially well with their peers. Learning how to build your social pressure tolerance helps you become an individual and lessen the (negative) influence by others.

I go out and do social experiments, just to build up my social pressure tolerance more and more. For example, the story of the Fat Girl and I at the bus stop in which I got on the bus in front of 200 people by cutting in the front, despite the constant complaint and bickering of a fat chick.

Building social tolerance helps you explore different possibilities in life, instead of just doing the norm. Like high school kids who go to college or university straight after high school – hey, that’s what every one is doing! The list goes on.

To build social tolerance, you need to gradually build it up. Part of it is learning how to say no.

One of my favorite thing to do is learn the art of selling and the underlying psychology of it.

What I do sometimes is go into a car dealership and have the car sale man approach me and start doing his high pressure sales tactic.

I would make him invest his time in me and make it seem that I’m going to buy the car, but hesitate. Then the last minute I would say no to the sale, and walk away as if I’m offended. You know, just for fun.

So go out there and build your social pressure tolerance, the more you do the more internal oriented you become once you let the outside social pressures dwindle.

[SweetMelissa]

I was a shy girl too. One thing that made me come out of my shell is realizing that everyone second guesses themselves and that what I have to say is just as important or *not important* as what everyone else says. Understanding that we are all connected beings also helps to alleviate the tension to impress or fit in. Just knowing you are already a part of that whole makes it easier to just be yourself.

[Pegasus]

Better to volunteer when you do know the answer than to be called on when you don't know the answer. This puts you in control.



- Pegasus