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Old 08-13-2007, 11:24 PM
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Default Comfortable Crisis?

Do you have to have a crisis in your life to change? So many PD gurus seem to have stories about how they were broke, in jail, (both), in an accident, lost loved ones, or were somehow in a "crisis" out of which they chose thier path.
What about the bulk of us in "normal" circumstances? Instead of running away from a crisis or otherwise painful status quo, who's been successful simply going after what they LOVE?
Fear is usually thought of as a better motivator, but LOVE feels better and last longer.

Stephen
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Last edited by stephencp : 08-14-2007 at 12:42 PM.
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Old 08-14-2007, 01:56 AM
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I think part of the reason that story is so common is that having some sort of "crisis" results in a shift in thinking. "I don't want to be in this position anymore, so I'm going to do everything in my power so I'm never there again!" I don't think a crisis is needed to change - I've never experienced a true, nasty crisis (knock on wood!) - but like you said, it's a powerful motivator.

Also, what makes a better story - going after what you love while living a comfortable life, or becoming broke or having something horrible happen and raising yourself up to fight it?
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Old 08-14-2007, 02:50 AM
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In most cases, the low points define the peaks...

If you are the type of person who will achieve some earth shaking influence... you are also probably the type of person who will have stared into the abyss... you don't get to make an omelet without breaking a few eggs... and you don't achieve greatness or success without some heart wrenching failures...

So, it stands to reason that great PD gurus have seen both sides of the fence...
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Old 08-14-2007, 03:04 AM
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I think if we were in the love zone most of the time we would be so happy that we would have to reason to instigate any change in our lives. Often a crisis may be a blessing in disguise and if you look at a crisis this way life becomes easier to handle. Overcoming problems make the happy times even more rewarding.

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Old 08-14-2007, 03:08 AM
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"If you are the type of person who will achieve some earth shaking influence... you are also probably the type of person who will have stared into the abyss... you don't get to make an omelet without breaking a few eggs... and you don't achieve greatness or success without some heart wrenching failures...

So, it stands to reason that great PD gurus have seen both sides of the fence..."

So it stands to reason based on what? Making omelets or looking into an abyss. I missed the logic there.....

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Old 08-14-2007, 04:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stephencp View Post
So it stands to reason based on what? Making omelets or looking into an abyss. I missed the logic there.....
The movers and shakers of this world undertake huge projects and have to take many chances... and no one who take huge risk ever always win... and when they lose... they lose big time...

And you have heard the old saying that says, "The bigger they are... the harder they fall..."

So, in that sense... it stand to reason that the more you accomplish... chances are that the more setbacks you will experience... thus... the broken eggs... and the staring into the abyss...

Hope that this is clearer...
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Old 08-14-2007, 12:39 PM
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Peter Ralston (discoverer of cheng hsin) talk a partner of mine in a tai chi like exercise, "You know what they say, the bigger they are, the bigger they are."

While I understand your old sayings, I don't like to use them as the basis of my argument, nor look to them for validation.

Regardless, my original question was whether a crisis is necessary (it's certainly not sufficient) for PD. The fact that many PD gurus seem to have had one simply means that it is common, not required.

If not required, how do we stimulate and motivated people (or ourselves) to move toward what they want vs avoiding the pain of a crisis?

Stephen
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Old 08-14-2007, 03:07 PM
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Part of it may also be to appeal to readers - "I was off 100x worse than you and I not only bounced back, but but became a big success while I was at it!" - pretty much saying that if they can do it, you, most certainly can too.
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Old 08-15-2007, 09:46 AM
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If we look upon personal development as personal growth, no crisis is necessary. We can all grow.

However it is, as said, a powerful motivator. But I think that everything that creates strong emotions are powerful motivators. May it be deep sorrow or intense joy, every emotion that makes us feel an urge to do something propels us forward.
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Old 08-16-2007, 01:12 AM
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Swede,
I agree that strong emotions are required to fuel any progress. I'm wondering how we can tap into the love of future that we want versus the fear of a status quo. So many methods try to get you "force yourself" to do things and/or develop "will power", yet we should easily desire to that which we love to do.

Stephen
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Old 08-16-2007, 01:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stephencp View Post
I'm wondering how we can tap into the love of future that we want versus the fear of a status quo.
That day comes when you really believe that this "compelling future" is possible...

That's where most of the problem lies... people dream of that fantastic future... but, "certainty" which is the winner's edge, is missing... So, at the first setback... they give up...

Everest is there... and it's very tempting... but seems out of reach for many... so, they'll settle for a quiet bench in the park... just under the three where the birds do their thing...
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