Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Old Soul · 08-09-2007, 06:25 PM

Hello all , I have been asked to do a reading or poem for my s/daughters wedding, and so I wrote a poem I was hoping you could give me some feedback as to what you think ... appropriate? sappy? or ok here goes....(just a draft)

Beyond The Roses

May you love beyond the Roses,
the lit candles will melt away
Sow a seed of love
and nurture it every day
A love which teaches us to listen
to read between the lines
A love that continues to bless us
thus standing the test of time
A love that says I'm sorry
when a wound is made
A love soft and tender
and sometimes sharp as a blade
A love that cries for the other
Feels a pain as one
A love laughing through the hard times
and in this strength -til the day is done
If this love speaks after I'm gone
And yours would do the same
We have honored love greatly
And she , blessing us with a golden flame

Gordon · 08-09-2007, 06:30 PM

Brilliant....she and everyone else will love it.

Good luck

G

Old Soul · 08-09-2007, 06:32 PM

Oh!! thankyou so much , I was afraid that it was sort of sappy :-)

I am more comfortable reading something I wrote than a reading from a book, although to be honest I may at the wedding rehearsal read the piece and be comfortable with it after all.......

{aspiring_to_clarity} · 08-09-2007, 08:08 PM

I think it's very sweet. It's so nice to have something personal instead of the same old quotes in my opinion. Go for it!

Old Soul · 08-09-2007, 08:41 PM

thankyou!! for your reply, I thought this would add a nice personal touch to it as well

MadHyeNa · 08-10-2007, 01:54 PM

As a technical writer myself (which has nothing to do with writing poems, I know) and casual poet I can certainly value the effort and I think that your poem is fantastic, Old Soul.

Furthermore, everybody will love it, indeed. It expresses emotions way better than any other public speaking speech could ever do.

Regards.

Asmoday · 08-10-2007, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Old Soul

Oh!! thankyou so much , I was afraid that it was sort of sappy :-)

I am more comfortable reading something I wrote than a reading from a book, although to be honest I may at the wedding rehearsal read the piece and be comfortable with it after all.......

LOL! :-)

Weddings are the time when sappy is what you want.

Its very, very well chosen.

Love · 08-10-2007, 09:04 PM

Everyone will love that you were able to express this. This is so wonderful of you, Old Soul

08-09-2007, 06:25 PM	#1 (permalink)
Old Soul Family Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,016	A poem I want to read at my step daughter wedding Hello all , I have been asked to do a reading or poem for my s/daughters wedding, and so I wrote a poem I was hoping you could give me some feedback as to what you think ... appropriate? sappy? or ok here goes....(just a draft) Beyond The Roses May you love beyond the Roses, the lit candles will melt away Sow a seed of love and nurture it every day A love which teaches us to listen to read between the lines A love that continues to bless us thus standing the test of time A love that says I'm sorry when a wound is made A love soft and tender and sometimes sharp as a blade A love that cries for the other Feels a pain as one A love laughing through the hard times and in this strength -til the day is done If this love speaks after I'm gone And yours would do the same We have honored love greatly And she , blessing us with a golden flame

08-09-2007, 08:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
{aspiring_to_clarity} Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Texas, USA Posts: 3,709 ${aspiring_to_clarity} will become famous soon enough$	I think it's very sweet. It's so nice to have something personal instead of the same old quotes in my opinion. Go for it!
${aspiring_to_clarity} is offline$

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

08-09-2007, 06:30 PM	#2 (permalink)
Gordon Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 265	Brilliant....she and everyone else will love it. Good luck G

08-09-2007, 06:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
Old Soul Family Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,016	Oh!! thankyou so much , I was afraid that it was sort of sappy :-) I am more comfortable reading something I wrote than a reading from a book, although to be honest I may at the wedding rehearsal read the piece and be comfortable with it after all.......

08-09-2007, 08:41 PM	#5 (permalink)
Old Soul Family Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,016	thankyou!! for your reply, I thought this would add a nice personal touch to it as well

08-10-2007, 01:54 PM	#6 (permalink)
MadHyeNa Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Europe Posts: 40	As a technical writer myself (which has nothing to do with writing poems, I know) and casual poet I can certainly value the effort and I think that your poem is fantastic, Old Soul. Furthermore, everybody will love it, indeed. It expresses emotions way better than any other public speaking speech could ever do. Regards.

08-10-2007, 09:04 PM	#8 (permalink)
Love Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 513	Everyone will love that you were able to express this. This is so wonderful of you, Old Soul

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums