|08-04-2007, 01:37 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2007
Paul's Tips is a personal development web site written by a guy who seems to be fairly successful. I've read through nearly all the articles, and he's got some great tips. Below I've summarized the tips for those who don't want to read over 200 articles
1. Effectiveness is the art of achieving a result while using the least amount of time, effort, and other resources.
2. If you consistently lose in games of skill, it's your fault. Have the guts to admit to yourself that if you're constantly failing in games of skill, you're the one to blame. Then, become determined to take concrete steps to turn things around. Search for new knowledge on the subject, practice, and work at improving. This is the strategy life's winners adopt.
3. Don't settle for the first thing that falls into your lap.
4. Learn how to separate superstition from fact.
5. Be willing to crash and burn sometimes. We are evolutionarily programmed to fear failure, since it might have meant death in early civilizations. Instead, realize that you can recover from failures.
6. You will never have perfect information. Get over it. Don't fall into analysis paralysis.
7. Learn how to develop an emotional connection with people.
8. Let people underestimate you.
9. Don't get too hung up on any one particular outcome.
10. Don't worry needlessly.
11. Be a super-friendly person.
12. Don't be a show-off. People aren't willing to appreciate those who demand their attention. They feel it's something that has to be earned and is their own to decide. They certainly aren't open to being bullied into handing it over. Believe me, if you've done something amazing, people will soon find out about it without you having to point it out to them. Sit back, be patient and wait for the respect to roll in. It will be that much more satisfying if you do.
13. Learn how to apologize. Learn how and when to apologize. Often, the pride and stubbornness you hold onto by refusing to back down isn't worth the price of a prolonged argument. An apology can do wonders for healing a difficult situation. And often, people will think better of you for it.
14. Many people pass on their problems to other people. Once you recognize this, you can prevent them from handing off their problems to you.
15. I think a good strategy in almost any area of life is to conduct a lot of small, cheap experiments and just see what happens. How unfair we think things are, how we think the world should work, and how cool we think some theory or saying sounds is all largely irrelevant. All that matters is what works. And the best way to figure that out is through experimentation.
16. Look for new and more constructive measures for creating meaning in life.
17. Be adaptable in a changing world.
18. Put a little bit of effort towards improving your situation every day.
19. The world is filled with opportunity.
20. Don't worry about getting everybody to like you. Some individuals use withholding their approval as a type of power play. If they see you as somebody competent or with status, they can hate you in order to try to prove themselves better. Others simply hate many people as a way of trying to obtain control over others. I'm sure you've come across many such people in your own life. Putting effort into charming people is an important life skill to have. But don't get too hung up on the fact that you'll come across some people who are immune to your charms. It's an inevitable part of life and something we all have to deal with.
21. How people can pretend to know a lot about you:
Here is an example of a common script similar to that used by psychologist Bertram Forer: "You have a deep need for others to like and admire you. You have a tendency to be overly critical of yourself at times. You have a lot of unused capacity, which you haven't been able to turn to your advantage. While you have some weaknesses in your personality, you're generally able to compensate for them. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worried and insecure inside. Sometimes, you have real doubts whether you've made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer some change and variety and feel locked in by limitations and restrictions. Some of your aspirations can be pretty unrealistic. Sometimes, you're extroverted and sociable, other times you're introverted and reserved".
Read the script above to many people, and they'll feel deeply that you're talking about them. They may even think you're some kind of psychological genius, or that you're blessed with supernatural powers. It's a great party trick, especially if you can dress it up with some kind of ritual and get the person alone.
Even easier are the truisms that relate to a person at specific times in their lives. For example, if you see that someone is a young man, you can say to them something like: "You have a lot of inner anger within which you sometimes have trouble repressing".
Other tricks can also be used. A person with rough hands has likely been exposed to a lot of manual work, for example.
The point is to let you know that people who use these tricks are trying to manipulate you. They're not really intuitive or gifted. They've simply been exposed to this technique and practiced using it to their advantage. It's a fun trick, but don't let them fool you into believing it's anything more.
22. Understand social proof. The general idea is that people are persuaded by what others appear to like. For example, if a group of people all like a particular person, others will also be influenced to like that person. Any kind of logical analysis of the person's strengths goes out the door. Simply because he's popular, he's liked.
23. Test yourself and your ideas out on reality. Rather than framing the feedback to fit what you wish were true, instead be honest with yourself. If the truths you discover are harsh, this is still better than living in a fantasy world. Understand reality, and you have a far better chance of influencing it to achieve your own ends.
24. Relationships are what really matter in life.
25. If you're not falling over sometimes, you're not trying hard enough.
26. Do lots of small favors for people to activate the principle of reciprocation.
27. Correlation does not equal causation.
28. Don't get too easily discouraged.
29. Focus on the opportunities of the future, not the tragedies of the past.
30. Feed people's need for recognition by giving them sincere compliments. Make the compliment brief and then move on with the conversation.
31. Be aware of your competing desires.
32. Get yourself some allies.
33. To maintain an open mind, ask yourself this one simple question: What evidence would it take to convince me my beliefs are wrong?
34. Know when to be logical rather than emotional.
35. Take a moment to appreciate the miracle of existence.
36. Instead of forcing yourself to exercise, find activities that you enjoy.
37. Develop resilience and deep inner strength.
38. Most people just want to have their biases reinforced.
39. Always be improving the quality of your rules of thumb.
40. Perfect contentment leads to stagnation.
41. Don't place too much weight on what people say. Instead, pay attention to their actions.
42. Develop additional sources of income.
43. Taking responsibility is easier than the alternatives.
44. There are all sorts of strategies for improving your creativity, but for my money discovering as much as you can about the real world is the best one. The more ideas you cram into your head from reality - the more you understand how it actually works - the more fascinating things you will be able to tell your audience. And after all, that's what they're doing the compliment of paying you attention for in the first place.
45. Take the time to learn lots of useful tricks. Many times, the difference between a winner and a loser doesn't all come down to innate ability. Instead, it rests on who's taken the time and effort to learn the most tricks. Fill your own magic bag with all sorts of them in as many fields as you can. And watch yourself zoom away from the competition.
46. Break down the walls in your mind and get rid of self-limiting beliefs.
47. A lot of success and failure is compounding. It's almost a question of momentum. Once you start moving in a certain direction, it doesn't take much extra effort to move even faster.
48. Most contests are winner-takes-all.
49. People value what they've sacrificed most for.
50. Salami tactics are extremely common in all sorts of areas of life. Watch for people who try to force compromises onto you one palatable bit at a time. They're almost surely trying to get those insignificant slices to add up to become one big sausage.
Last edited by Zukin; 08-04-2007 at 01:44 PM.
|08-04-2007, 01:38 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2007
51. When you are trying to understand senseless behavior in others, it's often worthwhile to think back to this idea. Ask yourself, "Is this person merely seeking attention", and respond accordingly.
52. How to be cool:
A. Have a good understanding of the pop culture cool women like.
B. Look after your appearance. A good place to look for fashion tips is music videos. Concentrate on the ones that are popular with the women in the hip crowd. If you can dress like those in the videos, you'll probably do well.
C. Become a good communicator. Practice making things sound sexy and enticing. Look at how the cool people in movies do it, and try to learn their tricks. Don't just repeat movie lines verbatim - that's uncool - but try to figure out the techniques people like Quentin Tarantino use to make their characters sound hip.
D. Relax. Cool people are comfortable with themselves. Panic and stress are not typical emotions for them. If you can train yourself to keep a chilled head and a sharp wit while those around you are losing it, you're most definitely cool. Cool people also aren't desperate for approval. If you're running around trying to impress everybody in a panic, you'll just look like an idiot. Cool people know how to impress people while looking like they're putting in no effort whatsoever.
53. Generally, it's best just to tell people what they want to hear.
54. Don't be boring.
55. The world isn't cruel, it's indifferent.
56. Learn how to deal with pauses in conversations. Sometimes you can just relax and take a deep breath instead of blurting something out.
57. When trying to make a decision, use a cost benefit analysis with utility functions. Putting a numerical value on your decision can make you feel better about it.
58. Most advances are made just by trying stuff out.
59. Be aware of the enormous amount of hope that's invested in you (including billions of years of evolution).
60. Have a desperate hunger for new ideas.
61. Don't hate your body too much, it's the most amazing machine on the planet.
62. Look for the underlying pattern.
63. Be skeptical of fantastic claims.
64. A lot of bad behavior is just negotiation in disguise.
65. In most cases, when you find yourself having to deal with a troublemaker, the best thing to do is take a cold, rational look at what you stand to lose by dropping all relations with them. If it boils down to simply their friendship, or some kind of hazy reputational worries, then get away from them as fast as you can and don't come back. They're simply not worth it.
66. Use progressive relaxation to deal with anxiety.
67. Be honest with yourself.
68. Think of work not in terms of salary or bonuses, but instead in hourly rates. How much are you going to get paid for that hour of work you're putting in? What type of work could you be doing that pays even better? These are the types of question financially savvy people ask themselves.
69. Have the strength to continue even when the obstacles are difficult, much as our culture urges. But at the same time, have the wisdom to realize when you're in a hole and it's time to stop digging.
70. If there is a problem, bring things out into the open instead of operating on assumptions.
71. Beware of idealists and their seductive claims of easy answers. If you see someone living life around a few simple ideas, who becomes angry when those ideas are challenged, then you know you're dealing with a person who has the potential to be dangerous.
72. Human weakness is a fact of life. We all know it's there, and what the most common examples of it are. If you make plans and use strategies that acknowledge this weakness, you are much more likely to be successful.
73. Much of success in life revolves around understanding that we're engaged in a series of interlocking games - business, love, investing, status, careers, politics, parenthood, and so on. That's not to say the consequences of playing aren't serious, or even dangerous. Just because they're games, doesn't mean they aren't played hard and for keeps. Two main elements take a part in how well we'll do in these games - our level of understanding and chance. And often, it's the more sophisticated players who'll win, with chance deciding which one of them will walk away with the juiciest prizes. As in Monopoly, whining about the game being unfair, throwing tantrums or reckless cheating are bad strategies - unlikely to lead to success. Instead, you can trounce most of the other players simply by putting more effort into becoming an experienced player. Practice and study are the way to ensure the best rewards are likely to come your way.
74. As you're the one in control of how you spend your time consuming information, raise the standards of what you're willing to spend that time consuming. Limit yourself to only the spectacularly and obviously important, and let the rest die on the vine. Don't even waste one moment mourning its loss.
75. To become good at almost anything you have to prepared to feel: Confused, Scared, Like an imposter, Humiliated by the insiders, Bored, Like it's all too hard.
If these are the emotions you're facing, then you're almost certainly improving. The stronger they hit you, the more quickly you're going to become good. And the best way to feel these emotions is to play with those who are better than you. Put up with the humiliation and embarrassment. Watch and learn from them. Study hard from the literature. This is the way to get good at things.
76. Judge people by their long-term track record. What they've actually done, not what they say they'll do. It can be a harsh attitude, but it's one that generally pays well.
77. Asking yourself often "What's the worst that could happen?" is a good way of staying on top of the problems that cause stress and misery. Realizing that, whatever goes wrong, you'll likely deal with it - or putting yourself in a situation where it will be easy to survive the blow, is a great way of dealing with stress.
78. There are nine stages to becoming an expert:
A. Discovery and interest
B. Early self-teaching
C. Formal education
E. Serious attempts at professional improvement
F. The beating of local rivals
G. Youthful arrogance
H. Reality check and crashing back down to Earth
I. Realizing that you'll never come close to knowing everything
79. Collect some achievements you can be proud of
80. Don't be afraid to ask dumb questions
81. How to meet and charm women:
A. Go to where the competition isn't
B. Make friends and flirt with girls you aren't attracted to
C. Be discreet
D. Look after your appearance.
• Be ultra-hygenic. Wash daily, brush your teeth twice a day, wear new, clean, pressed clothes.
• Be more fashionable than those around you. Spend a bit of money on nice clothes. Get advice from women on what to wear. Skip the polo-shirt you got for free at that tech-conference or the t-shirt with your favorite band on it.
• Take care of your scent. Wear an expensive cologne, but think subtle not splashed everywhere. Eat mints after beer, spicy food, or coffee. Put on deodorant on a hot day, but again subtle not overwhelming.
• If you've got bad teeth, get them fixed. Straight, white teeth really improve your appearance.
• Keep your hair neat and well-cut.
• Lose the facial hair, nasal hair and ear hair.
E. Don't act like a jerk
F. If things are going badly, you're unlikely to be able to turn them around
G. Keep her away from your friends
H. Make it all about her
I. Don't rush her
J. When the time to strike comes, be bold. Ask her, "Would you like to have a kiss?"
82. Ingredients for a good life:
A. A good education
B. Something to live for
C. Good relationships
D. Spending less than you earn
E. Finding somewhere nice to live
F. Good health
G. A little fun and relaxation sometimes
83. The search for entertainment is the driving force behind much of what's going on in the world today.
84. Overcoming the weight of our need to be consistent is difficult, but here are some clear steps towards doing it:
• Consider that the alternatives may be legitimate for you.
• Research those alternatives and even give them a try.
• Be able to identify when an alternative would be of more benefit to you than sticking with your current path.
• Get started with rerouting your "river of the mind".
• Be strong enough to overcome the urge to shift back into the old groove during the early days of your change.
Using these steps can help you overcome bad consistencies. And even better, being able to do them is a skill that can be used again and again in all sorts of arenas. Just as you wouldn't take up running by attempting a marathon straight away, you should start small in training to beat the need for consistency. Give up a simple bad habit or take up an easy good one. Then, continue practicing until even overcoming quite difficult challenges becomes manageable. In most cases, maintaining consistency is important in our lives. Chaos and uncertainty aren't nice things to have around. But sometimes, that need for consistency can work against us. Make an effort to ensure this doesn't happen for you.
85. Find the right balance between improving your situation and enjoying it.
|08-04-2007, 01:40 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2007
86. Start planning your escape
87. Most ideas, no matter how brilliant, are worthless without a concrete implementation. That's because ideas are easy but implementing them is hard. Become a genius at execution - at seeing through an idea to the end - and you'll find others will treat you as extremely valuable. And you'll almost certainly become a great success.
88. All sorts of things about your life, and the environment you live in, will change in unpredictable ways over any period of time. Challenges and opportunities that you never expected will present themselves. To rigidly stick to some kind of life-plan under such circumstances is just asking for trouble. Instead, you should prepare yourself to meet challenges and take advantage of opportunities, however they may present themselves. Success in life is about being adaptable, and having the resources to allow you to do that.
89. The most valuable use of time, in my opinion, is spending it on those moments that make you feel great to be alive. Those simple times when you catch yourself and think: "Isn't it just bloody fantastic to be here?".
90. The easiest way to get rich:
A. Get a well-paid job
B. Get good tax advice
C. Save 20% of everything you earn (and more)
D. Conservatively invest the funds that build up in your savings account
E. Reinvest any income you get from your assets straight back into buying more assets
F. Never touch these funds and do your best to ignore them
G. Wait a decade
91. Rather than eating the same old stuff, reading from the same sources, and consuming the same old cultural products - expand your horizons a bit. Don't just go for variations of stuff you already know you like. Instead, seek out something genuinely new and enrich your life.
92. Most of the big advances are made simply by trying stuff out.
93. Clearly, knowledge of how systems work and how they can be improved is one of the greatest assets any person can possess. A large amount of study toward understanding them is almost certainly a very wise investment.
94. Trying to be all things to all people may seem like a great way to cast a wide-net. But really, it's a way to turn people off. Being everything is equivalent in most people's minds as being nothing. What can't be categorized is likely to be rejected and forgotten. In business, career and relationships, decide who you are and what you stand for in a sharp fashion. Try to summarize it in only a word or two for the area you're focused on. This is a much better strategy than trying to be all things to all people.
95. Focus on total cost, not just price
96. If you don't know, say so.
97. Work around reality, don't fight it.
98. Do a little bit of work towards your goals each day.
99. The secret is to be very stingy with your work. Refuse to hand any of it over unless the payback is likely to be big. Focus on what's important and refuse to waste time and energy on what isn't. Look for where the value is created and pump all your energy into that even if it means neglecting some detail or other.
100. Don't justify bad deeds by comparing yourself to others.
101. When you study people who are really successful - in business, love, friendship and lifestyle - you find it's often those who start out in the disregarded areas who get ahead. Spend time looking where the crowds aren't, and you'll often be surprised at the good things you'll find.
102. How to become more charismatic:
A. Make the conversation about them
B. Try to find people's obsessions and build a conversation around them
C. Look after your appearance
• Keep clean - bathe daily, wash your hair once every few days, clean your teeth twice a day.
• Keep tidy - if you're a man, keep your facial, nasal, and ear hair well-shaved. If you're a woman do the same for visible body hair
• Keep your hair neat, tidy and stylish.
• Dress well - wear fashionable, well-fitting clothes. Make sure they're clean, well-pressed, and new enough not to be faded. Aim to dress a bit better than those around you.
• Lose bad smells - wear deodorant and/or perfume, but don't overdo it, subtle is the key. If you eat something spicy, drink coffee, or smoke, have a packet of mints handy to clear your breath afterwards.
D. Be friendly and polite
E. Develop a gentle wit
F. Make people feel special
G. Have better than average communication skills
103. Sometimes it's better to do nothing.
104. Your best work will always come if you're producing something you'd love to use.
105. Five simple exercises for improving your willpower:
A. Drop a small bad habit
B. Learn something boring but useful
C. Do something you know you should every day for a week.
D. Set yourself an achievable, but difficult goal with a date for reaching it
E. Have a month where you ban yourself from putting anything off
106. Learn how to deal with the unknown
107. Don't rely on the charity of others
108. Understand the basis of your emotions
109. Challenge yourself
110. Don't let your inner demons overwhelm you
111. Focus on the problem, not on the person. Work around the fact that most of us are likely to make the occasional error, and will be more interested than our own needs than yours. Such a strategy is likely to find you more often achieving the results you want.
112. Seven rules for sharpening up your thinking skills:
A. Have a healthy level of skepticism
B. Look for hard data, not assumptions, arguments, and conclusions
C. If there's not enough data then no conclusion can be formed
D. Look for and verify assumptions
E. Look for circumstances where the conclusion may be found false
F. Make strong attempts to overcome your biases
G. Be willing to change your conclusions in the face of new data
113. Use evolutionary theory for success:
• Rather than just trying one thing, try many - including those which seem as if they may be unsuccessful.
• Accept that the world will change, and what worked yesterday probably won't work tomorrow.
• Realize that the unexpected is likely - what you think will succeed may fail, what you think will fail may succeed.
• Be ruthless about killing off the unsuccessful.
• Never stop tweaking your designs.
114. From adversity comes greatness
115. Don't try to change people
|08-04-2007, 01:42 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2007
116. Appeasing bullies doesn't work
117. Talk to everybody and be interested in everything
118. Look at those you admire in the field you’d like to excel in, and find our which information sources they use. This is often one of the hidden secrets of the successful. Follow their media consumption habits, and aim to become an expert in that field by pursuing the same sources.
119. If you're in business, or considering going into business, don't think of yourself as being in any particular industry first and foremost. Instead, see yourself as being in the template business - producing a more successful blueprint for a product or service that can easily be reproduced to fill a demand at a profit.
120. Don't waste your life tied up in petty squabbles.
121. You can tell a lot about someone from how they treat a waiter.
122. Get over your fear of failure
123. Be aware of the enormous possibilities available to you
124. Accumulate lots of small victories
125. In so many parts of life, a hundred little misses are bargain price to pay for one big hit.
126. Twisting yourself up with poisonous hatred is not a good way to live. The reason you should practice forgiveness is because the alternative is so horrible.
127. Eight negotiation tips:
A. Be willing to negotiate in the the first place
B. Don't get emotionally involved
C. If someone starts trying to box you in by adding rules to the deal, ask them to provide proof that such rules really exist.
D. Never be the first person to name a figure
E. Ask for more than you expect to get
F. Let them believe the final decision doesn't rest with you
G. Don't act too interested. Just giving the impression that you're willing to walk away can do wonders for getting a better deal. Always play the reluctant buyer or seller.
H. Don't leave the other person feeling as if they've been cheated
128. Most smart people have a hidden weakness and it’s this – they’re absolute suckers for anything that sounds clever. As soon as you start hitting people with technical terms, fancy graphs, famous names and the like, you’ll immediately increase your credibility. If they’re smart, they’re even more likely to find themselves nodding in agreement. Many intelligent people would rather cut off a finger than admit they don’t know what you’re talking about.
129. Make peace with the fact that there are a great many things you'll never know, and you'll never have real certainty about anything. Be very cautious before accepting anything as true and correct beyond any doubt, and be ready to question your assumptions. Realizing that nothing is certain is a big first step towards joining the ranks of the wise.
130. Don't reward bad behavior in yourself and others.
131. Some people just aren't worth bothering with.
132. Find something to live for.
133. Three good tricks for catching liars:
A. Look for what motivates the person. Concentrate on what people are doing, not what they are saying.
B. If someone refuses to be specific, they're probably lying.
C. Most liars have a tendency to overact.
134. Six steps for learning difficult subjects quickly:
A. Bombard yourself with information
B. Identify the key concepts and make them yours
C. Only memorize what absolutely has to be memorized
D. Get some feedback on your understanding
E. Bombard yourself with some more information, but from a different source
F. Get some real-world feedback
135. How to get a job paying more than $100,000 a year
A. Choose the right profession
B. Get an education and qualifications in your chosen profession
C. Choose the right geographic location
D. Polish up your resume
E. Improve your job interviewing techniques
F. Get an entry-level position in your new profession
G. Change jobs and employer
H. Change jobs and employer again, and again
136. Everybody loves a modest hero. The answer is to impress people with what you do rather than what you say. If you have admirable skills and achievements, people will notice these without your having to point them out. In fact, if you follow the path of being a quiet achiever your peers will likely admire you more. Everybody loves a modest hero.
137. Seven tips for powering up your communication skills:
A. Keep it simple and clear
B. Realize the person you're communicating with doesn't necessarily know what you know
C. Reduce noise and obstacles to getting your message across
D. Don't use big words or jargon
E. Speak to each member of the audience as an individual
F. Use as few words as possible
G. Respect your audience
138. The big advantage of treating your future self well, is that the benefits are compounding. If you save some money, then the person you are in the future saves the interest from that money plus a bit more, you'll be well on your way to becoming rich. Be charitable to your future self and treat them as a person you love and want to be happy. The benefits you receive from this attitude will likely be huge.
139. Take lots of small losses for some big wins.
140. Discover ways to make people laugh.
141. Learn how to solve other people's problems.
142. Become a student of human behavior.
143. Seven ways to get richer
A. Change jobs
B. Change careers
C. Find sources of income outside your job
D. Build yourself a money-making system
E. Start following a savings plan
F. Pay off your debts
G. Improve your financial literacy
144. Never be completely satisfied with your answers
145. Having a lot of cool stuff is great, but it's not really necessary to be happy. As long as you've got good relationships, a bit of money in your pocket for entertainment, a roof over your head, and enough to eat, you can live perfectly happily without all that extra "stuff" we've been convinced is so necessary. Keep your love of material things in perspective. And take the hidden costs into account before you start accumulating too much.
146. Six tips for getting organized:
A. Do it in the first place
B. Be organized about being organized
C. Keep the goal in mind
D. Spend most of your effort on the most important task
E. Keep it simple
F. Get started early
147. Don't waste your time doing only things that make you miserable simply in order to appear virtuous.
148. Rather than deciding to be more spiteful to those around you, why not try being more pleasant for a change? Make a real effort to be friendly and polite to people even if they don't immediately return the compliment. If you practice doing this sincerely, you will surprised at how many good things will come your way. Most people like those who are friendly and pleasant to them. They'll often go out of their way to help you. And they'll almost certainly want you around.
149. The secret of wealth is working easier, not harder.
150. Don't let other manipulate you by making you feel uncomfortable.
151. Don't get sucked in by the "it's all an emergency" mindset.
152. What you should put a bit of thought into are your own routines. What actions do you habitually undertake that are positive? Which do you routinely do that are negative? Which daily habits, if added to your routine, would improve your life? Which could you do without? It is, in many ways, the habits and routines we choose that define where our lives are going.
153. Life is serious, but it's also ridiculous.
154. If you have a problem, look in the mirror first for its source.
155. Who your friends are will have a big influence on who you are.
156. Resist the urge to criticize.
157. Rejoice in the variety of humanity
158. Turn your hopes and dreams into something concrete
159. Achievement brings the greatest satisfaction
160. Why people are sometimes horrible to one another:
A. The competition for resources
B. The thirst for power
C. Trying to pass pain onto others
161. Become immune to insult. Look at those who succeed in getting their way in life, and you'll notice that ignoring insults is exactly how such people react. Every rich, famous and powerful person on the planet has derogatory comments made about them daily. The smart ones simply ignore them and get on with what they were trying to achieve. It's often life's losers that allow petty offenses to consume them. They devote so much time and energy dealing emotionally with insults that they do things that are against their best interests.
162. Ignore the cynics, it's fine to pursue happiness.
163. Learn how to say no
164. One of the big differences that I've noticed between those who get what they want and those who don't comes down to one simple behavior - whether they're willing to ask for it. Having the courage to ask for what you want can help decide whether you'll have a successful life or not.
165. When everything's horrible, it may be time for a drastic change.
|08-04-2007, 01:42 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2007
166. The world has endless variety. It is an amazing place. Go out there and explore it. Your life will be the richer for it.
167. Six things likely to make you happier in the long-term:
A. Being involved in a loving relationship
B. Being in good health
C. Having satisfying employment
D. Being financially independent
E. Having a good social life
F. Having a sense of purpose
168. Spread your bets and take risks.
169. The first step to becoming educated is realizing that you know nothing. Keep an open mind. A great many of the things you hold as sacrosanct truth are probably incorrect. When you hear an opinion or a finding that disagrees with your beliefs, stop yourself from dismissing it out of hand. If the world doesn’t behave in the way you expect it to, you’re probably the one that’s wrong. Rather than resigning yourself to despair, re-examine your beliefs – can you learn something from this that will help you in the future? Read everything you can get your hands on, and do so with an open mind. Challenge yourself with views that you find stupid, boring, or possibly even offensive. What can these views teach you about the world? As the old saying goes, with knowledge comes power. So gain a little more knowledge, and with it a lot more power.
170. Five things likely to make you happier in the short term:
A. Go out for a walk
B. Do something fun that you haven't done in a long time
C. Do something creative
D. Complete some minor chore that you've been avoiding
E. Get in contact with an old friend or acquaintance you haven't seen for a while
171. Your existence is a miracle
|11-12-2007, 03:33 PM||#12 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Moscow, Russia
As with any list for each tip, I can ask: Yes, but HOW?! And the articles are not answering it either.
Unfortunately, the most of self-help is like this. Steve's great advantage is that he talks not only about what you should do, but provides road maps of how to get the result. But still, the tips are very good for inspiration and getting a new perspective on many areas of the life. Thanks for sharing, Zukin.
|11-12-2007, 08:30 PM||#14 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: San Rafael, CA
|11-12-2007, 08:32 PM||#15 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: San Rafael, CA
Where does it say not to worry about success?
Keeping in mind that none of the tips say the things you claim they do, did you ever consider that you may be the contradictory one, rather than humanity?
Maybe you should re-read number 23.
|11-13-2007, 03:15 AM||#17 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Some of these are good, but some are terrible.
|11-13-2007, 03:25 AM||#18 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2007
WOW You deserve some recognition! This must have taken you a really long time. Now this is what i call contribution to a community.
I think that alot of this advice is very very good, though it is all admittedly quite vauge... I think that is most likely the result of not having the full article for review though. I would like to say that i must agree with those who are slamming on the music video idea... I think that his other advice on appearance is much better and should be followed by everyone. Cleanliness is something that everyone will value you for.
Everything else seems like pretty common sense stuff, but they are things to think about when you are making decision for your life and even what you're going to be doing this afternoon. I particularly like be willing to take many small losses for a few large gains. Being able to work towards a goal and sacrifice things to get there is very important in life and can easily spell the difference between a procrastinating floater (thats who i am right now) and the goal driven go-getter who ultimately gets what he wants (what i want to be).
|11-13-2007, 11:45 AM||#19 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2007
I think he falls off at impressing women. Sure clean up and don't be a jerk but I don't think you need expensive clothes and colgnes to impress real women. Yes I'm nitpicking. He makes a lot of good points. He just sounds a bit fake when it comes to picking up women which strikes me as contradictory to the rest of what he says. Maybe he's just a bit conflicted in that area. Maybe it really works for him. Maybe I'm reading between the lines...
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