The Threshold of Tolerance…

[Shamou]

Chances are very high that you will not effect any major changes in your life until you have reached the, “Threshold of Tolerance.”

Only, on that faithful day, when you say, “That’s it. I’ve had enough. Something is going to change… and it’s going to change right now.” will you find the necessary courage and determination to “really” change things in your life…

As long as whatever it is that you are experiencing or living is still acceptable… you probably will not change… and chances are very high that even if you attempt a major change… it will be short lived and ineffective…

So, how do you precipitate that faithful “Threshold of Tolerance…???”

You do so by associating as much pain as possible to the condition that you want to change… and associate tons of pleasure to the conditions that you want to acquire, own and master…

Pain and pleasure are the ultimate guiding forces in all the decisions that we make… we can either learn to make those forces work for us… or against us…
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[Gene]

Originally Posted by Shamou

Chances are very high that you will not effect any major changes in your life until you have reached the, “Threshold of Tolerance.”

So, how do you precipitate that faithful “Threshold of Tolerance…???”
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Earnie Larson, in his book Stage II Recovery, calls this point a conversion experience. His description of a conversion experience is that a willingness to change will happen when there is a realization that a person is going to lose something the person is not willing to lose.

I do not desire to put myself in the painful and desperate mental and emotional place where I experience the fear of death or financial ruin or being bereft of human love or contact in order to find that moment where I am willing to change.

Fortunately, my experience suggests that all of my bottoms do not have to be that severe. After bouncing around the low side of the barrel a few times I seem to have acquired the ability to make mid course corrections before the navigational error causes a fatal or near fatal crash.

As I become more functional I require less pain to notice that there is something I might wish to change and to take action.

I do continue my education by feeding my mind. I still love to read or listen to James Allen's classic As A Man Thinketh! I read other things, am active with like minded people both off line and on line. I volunteer to help others.

These actions, I believe do not precipitate a crisis but puts me mentally, emotionally and spiritually in a place where I recognize things I might want to change before they become terrible events.

[The David]

That is extremely relevant to my life right now, and probably to many others. You should consider writing a full length article on this subject.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by The David

That is extremely relevant to my life right now, and probably to many others. You should consider writing a full length article on this subject.

Are you asking Gene of I...???
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[The David]

You, actually.

[stephencp]

This is the flaw in the theories of the vast majority of "self help" gurus. Most of them had an actual "crisis" from which most of us would say "I wouldn't stand for that either" (i.e. homeless, in jail, accidents/hospital) etc.

But, the majority of us are probably living a relatively "comfortable" life (at least by global standards...) so do not seem to have the motivation. However, that assumes that you must run FROM the bad instead of running toward the GOOD. Don't just fear the status quo, love the future.

Figure out exactly what you want in your life, meditate and affirm it and convince yourself that you CAN achieve it and go after it.

This is why Lou Tice is one of my heroes. He was a run of mill football coach and high school teacher (with no real "crisis") who re-invented himself and now helps millions achieve thier goals.

Stephen

The Internet Largest Free Give Away Ever - ****************************

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by The David

That is extremely relevant to my life right now, and probably to many others. You should consider writing a full length article on this subject.

Thank you for the vote of confidence David…

My guess is that you are interested in changing something major in your life… and want to know more about the “Threshold of Tolerance…”

The first thing to understand is that our behavior is guided by our desire to avoid pain and have the maximum possible amount of pleasure…

So, if you want to change anything, you must associate tons of pain to the behavior that you want to change… and an incredible amount of pleasure to the behavior that you want to adopt…

Let us say that you want to lose weight…

The fact is that you hate being overweight… but you get so much pleasure and satisfaction in using food as a drug that relieves tension, compensate for frustration and acts as a temporary relief for stress and tension that it overshadows the pain that being overweight gives you…

So, what you need to do is to associate massive pain to being a slave to your food addiction…. and to being less than you could be… and to be the sort of person that cannot deny temporary satisfaction that is ruining your quality of life…

If you can wire into your brain a scenario where being slim and trim will give you more pleasure then being a food addict… food will no longer be a problem for you… ever…

Now, there is way too much that can be said on the subject for it to be said here… but, if you have any specific questions… feel free to ask… and I’ll do my best to provide with an answer…
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[openeyes]

Originally Posted by stephencp

This is the flaw in the theories of the vast majority of "self help" gurus. Most of them had an actual "crisis" from which most of us would say "I wouldn't stand for that either" (i.e. homeless, in jail, accidents/hospital) etc.

In the more intense spiritual circles I've been in, the whole point is to bring about some sort of crisis/breaking point. When I've been on meditation retreats, all of the normal distractions and comforts are taken away, and for once you're confronted with the reality of your life.

People generally spend most of their lives hiding from themselves, seeking one distraction after another. Reaching and making one's way through internal crises is integral to profound growth. Still I don't like pushing people over the edge. That's up to them.