Being the calm eye of the storm.

[The David]

My apartment is currently a disaster. Here is why:

1. I agreed to move in with two of my friends. They're hardly ever here, however, and the one I share a room with has a lot of stuff which has not been unpacked yet, even though we've been here for a while. Our bedroom is a disaster because of it, and it is hard to feel 'productive' when I'm surrounded by it.

2. Two of our neighbors recently moved in. Actually, they didn't. They came in one night because of some family drama (which turned out to be more serious than I thought) and just haven't left. My roommate agreed to it, but they have worn out their welcome like you wouldn't believe. If you want the whole story, I can give it as a reply, but for now let's just say this: There are always two people in my living room (which is kind of my bedroom since the real bedroom is a wreck) who I don't really want to see anymore and have become very annoying.

3. The animals! My roommate got a puppy, which adds another dimension of chaos because it screams all the time and is not housebroken, and my roommate is not always around to keep it company. We also have a cat, and although I like it and wouldn't want to get rid of it, it isn't the most low-maintainence cat in the world.

I hate giving external circumstances this much power over me, but I'm finding
it extremely hard to maintain any sort of internal order when I feel like I live in a circus. I would appreciate any advice on this; surely there are some of you who don't live in perfect houses.

[Dan.Linehan]

Let the apartment crashers know they can't stay, its too disruptive. Work on some goals away from the house for the next couple of weeks or so. Spend a lot of time at work / the gym / girlfriends house.

[The David]

Originally Posted by Dan.Linehan

Let the apartment crashers know they can't stay, its too disruptive. Work on some goals away from the house for the next couple of weeks or so. Spend a lot of time at work / the gym / girlfriends house.

I also can't drive. But today I took some books to the park and stayed there for quite some time. I'll probably start doing that more often. I actually enjoy walking places, but I need some time at the apartment, too.

Edit: Luckily, I will be going back to school on August 17, in another city.

[Kaspian]

I agree with Dan. Tell the apartment crashers that it's time to go, and the sooner, the better. If returning to their previous living situation would be dangerous, give them a few days to find somewhere else to stay. Set a specific deadline for them to be gone, though, whether it's by tomorrow morning or 3-5 days from now.

Talk to the guy you share a room with and ask when he plans to unpack. If he has no specific time line, work with him to set one, preferably so that he's cleared out the clutter within a week or so.

[John Hill]

Until you clean up the clutter and the mess in your house it will not be a home you will feel comfortable in and subsequently your own personal energy will feel cluttered and messy to, I'm sure this is already how you feel now.

There is an answer within this problem but since your environment is so messy it is hard for you to see the best route for you to take. Perhaps you could step away from your problems to gain perspective and try to see the solution from another angle.

John

Attracting People.com

[Ilya]

The David, I can relate to your experience.
When I was at high-school, I found myself in the situation with virtually no privacy. Before that I've never had roommates, and never lived at a campus. Until I adjusted I had to retreat away from people, just to think straight. My favorite hiding spot was the common showers, which amazingly were empty most of the day. I even earned the nickname shower-boy for that.
When our situation changes rapidly, this is fine to spend some time to adjust. This is not loosing control to circumstances, it is actually controlling them.
But crashers have to go. If you could help them without compromising your interests - fine. But what you describe is four people (and two pets) suffering from overcrowding and lack of personal space. Actually, it will be better for your uninvited friends to have some time to themselves to sort out their problems.