Wanting to change yourself - you start and then you stop - Why? And how to stop it?

[TopGunMaverick]

Hey guys . This is a bit of a read so take your time .

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I am getting a bit frustrated with myself about this and finally decided to sought advice.

I've been meaning to change my life for a quite a bit now, I have all the self help resources and books to the point it may just be too overwhelming.

This is handled, I've taken on the programs by Brian Tracy - The Ultimate Goals Program. I've got my 100 goals to complete. I started working on them, for example, my goal of getting my driving license is in motion... took my very first driving lesson today!

I have also been meaning to join the gym, went to the gym today and discussed the fees etc.

I am going to put on 6kg of weight to get to 80kg so that I can do resistance training.

... All of this and much much more.

... BUT I took the very same path about 8 months ago and I stopped mid way through. I found myself not managing time well, getting distracted, getting pessimistic about the products.

I've also broken off links with my friends until August next year, they are wonderful people, all with good habits but my natural alpha personality was being suffocated when in their company. I get names like I am a "Player" when really I treat everyone on the same level and have a happy personality which I worked on to develop from being an introvert prior to it. This hurts me knowing I should go with them but my need to get away from them and improve myself for the next 15 months or so is stronger.

I know I need to take action sometimes but I just don't do it. BUT when I do it, I feel so good and complete my other goals as well. It builds momentum. I wonder why I didn't do i earlier, its so easy yet I make it hard on myself.

I start doing stupid things like start watching the other TV in my house (gave my own TV away months ago), get on the internet etc.

I want to go on the path of doing the things I want to do, keep the momentum, change the negativities in my mind and just do it.

Goals, productivity, time management, motivation, self-discipline, overcoming procrastination, habits, organizing, problem-solving, decision-making, intelligence.

I want it all but I feel like I am my worst enemy.

P.S. I don't think I am a negative person, I have a lot going in my life that I truly appreciate but not taking action is what seems to be my sticking point more than anything.