Anyone willing to be my personal PD coach?

[sri.k]

I'm not a very disciplined person. I have one of the most important challenges of my life just ahead. I have to qualify myself with CPA. I need someone to be accountable to. Is someone willing to be my personal coach and help me through the journey. I foresee that it will last another 5 months. The role includes but is not limited to planning study routine, motivating, soul-searching etc. Being a CPA/Accounting graduate is an added advantage. Remuneration is not negotiable - I'll be indebted to him/her throughout my life.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by sri.k

I'm not a very disciplined person.

I have some great news for you... no one is, as you call it, a "very disciplined" person...

We are all guided by the "Pain and Pleasure" principle...

Here is what Anthony Robbins has to say on the subject...

"Everything you and I do, we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our desire to gain pleasure."

"Though we’d like to deny it, the fact remains that, what drives our behavior is instinctive reaction to pain and pleasure, not intellectual calculation."

Therefore, if you want to behave like someone who seem to have "discipline" what you need to do is to link massive pain to the things that you do not want to do... and link tons of pleasure to the things that you want to do...

As an example... link massive pain to being a poor student... and massive pleasure and pride into being a good student...

I wish you the very best in finding a good personal coach... but, should that fail... you can learn to be your own personal coach... it does demand some work... but in my view... no one can serve you as well as you personally can...

The very best of luck to you...

PS. A very good motivation tip for you would be to buy your graduation ring... keep in on your work desk and imagine how proud you'll be when you can finally wear it...

.

[Jenny]

Originally Posted by Shamou

I wish you the very best in finding a good personal coach... but, should that fail... you can learn to be your own personal coach... it does demand some work... but in my view... no one can serve you as well as you personal can...

Shamou is speaking some very profound words here. I hope you stop and really read what he is saying. Motivation which comes from others is impossible to sustain once they are gone, it only really works when it comes from within. I wish you the best.

PS. I also struggled with being "disciplined" for much of my life and it wasn't until I began to focus on what I was good at and enjoyed that discipline was no longer a problem. Okay that and a couple of really hard knocks from life

[Catlover]

I think it would help you to read Steve's blog post from this week on Microtasks. If you break down the body of knowledge you have to study into micro-sessions, then you could post a list here each week of what you want to accomplish in the week ahead. That way you could be accountable to the group. In any event, if you haven't read that posting yet, I would highly recommend it.

[Sunnybayes]

Start a new progress thread. Call it something like "My personal growth progress thread". It will remind you that your goal is to grow.

If you keep your progress this thread, the first thing that you will see is

"Anyone willing to be my personal PD coach?"

You don't want that. You have old associations tied to that phrase. That is your old you. You are going to build the new you.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by sri.k

I'm not a very disciplined person.

What Shamoo wrote about Anthony Robbins' pain and pleasure may work for you. For years I tried to implement it and failed except in very short term bursts. When I finally abandoned trying that and searched for other methods, I got much better results. However, I do know it works for a number of people, so you might want to try it and see if it works for you. If it doesn't, then just keep searching for other ways to become disciplined. You may want to try a search for Steve Pavlina's articles on here, as well as listening to his podcast.

[Brutha]

This forum is a great place to be accountable. We have montly challenges where you can post your goals.
This thread is the actual one.
Afterwards you can state how well you have done with your goals.

We are all guided by the "Pain and Pleasure" principle...

While pain and pleasure is certainly a factor it is neither the only one nor the most important.
When you commit to disciple on a regular basis, certain neurological pathways get strengthened.
A very disciplined person is a person that developed those pathways. It gets a habit.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Brutha

While pain and pleasure is certainly a factor it is neither the only one nor the most important.

“Nature has placed mankind under the government of two sovereign masters, pain and pleasure… they govern us in all we do, in all we think: every effort we can make to throw off our subjection, will serve but to demonstrate and confirm it.”--Jeremy Bentham


Jeremy Bentham was an English jurist, philosopher, and legal and social reformer. He was a political radical and a leading theorist in Anglo-American philosophy of law.

The Pain-Pleasure Principle

"All entities, from single-celled amoebae up to complex human beings, have a natural inclination to seek pleasure and avoid pain. This Pain-Pleasure Principle is the chief motivating factor in behavior. Whatever we are doing, we are doing it because we believe it will make us feel better.

We are pleasure-seeking, relief-seeking beings, consciously or unconsciously trying to strengthen our connection with Source Energy. Regardless of how misguided we may view some of the ways people seek pleasure, it is still the motivation behind every action ever taken by human beings."

.

[Brutha]

Originally Posted by Shamou

Jeremy Bentham was an English jurist, philosopher, and legal and social reformer. He was a political radical and a leading theorist in Anglo-American philosophy of law.

Someone how died 1832, doesn't have to get the scientific facts right.
Quoting a long dead philosopher in a discussion over facts is appeal to authority.

We are pleasure-seeking, relief-seeking beings, consciously or unconsciously trying to strengthen our connection with Source Energy.

According to your source it is always about Source Energy. I rather think that our brain influences or behavior than a godly source of energy, but feel free to follow that New Age belief that our consciousness (that makes the decisions) isn't guided by our brain but by a divine Source Energy.

I on the other hand believe that our behavior comes from neurological facts about our brain.

An article by a research professor of psychiatry
Behaviorism doesn’t work. Change efforts based on incentive and threat (the carrot and the stick) rarely succeed in the long run.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Brutha
Quoting a long dead philosopher in a discussion over facts is appeal to authority.

Where are your “facts…???” your following quote is not facts… it is simply your opinion…

Brutha.. “When you commit to disciple on a regular basis, certain neurological pathways get strengthened.
A very disciplined person is a person that developed those pathways. It gets a habit.”

I on the other hand believe that our behavior comes from neurological facts about our brain.

Wrong again in quoting your article...

Quote:
An article by a research professor of psychiatry
Behaviorism doesn’t work. Change efforts based on incentive and threat (the carrot and the stick) rarely succeed in the long run.

If you had read the article you would have seen that your quote on behaviorism is exactly the contrary to the interpretation that you make of if…

From your own article:
These conclusions would have been considered counterintuitive or downright wrong only a few years ago. For example:

· Change is pain. Organizational change is unexpectedly difficult because it provokes sensations of physiological discomfort.

· Behaviorism doesn’t work. Change efforts based on incentive and threat (the carrot and the stick) rarely succeed in the long run.

If they were considered downright wrong... it means that, in view of the new information brought by technology they are now considered downright right...

.

[Ilya]

Hi, Sri.k
I think you'll be better off finding a coach in your local area. Judging from your goals, you live in an area where it is possible to find a coach or a support group.
It shouldn't even cost you money.
While, on-line coaching can be more accessible, real-life sessions are better. Especially for being accountable. Admitting that you've messed up while looking a person in the eye is much more powerful than posting on a forum.

Brutha and Shamou, I think your discussion is a classic case of using the different language to describe the same thing. Why don't you agree on the definitions.
Whatever you call it - Brain or Source Energy, in my experience it works the same.

And I do believe, that neural pathways do get strengthened by applying positive and negative feedback (pain and pleasure). Whether the goal is to connect to Source Energy or to pass a CPA exam is not very important in this case, is it?

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Ilya

Brutha and Shamou, I think your discussion is a classic case of using the different language to describe the same thing.

The core of our disagreement is not over different language... it over is the fact that Brutha claims that we can be directed by discipline and will power... and I say that, in the long run... it does not work... and that we are motivated and guided by the"Pain, Pleasure Principle" where we will seek pleasure and avoid pain... (however, we must take into consideration that sometimes we will chose pain if that course of action promises greater pleasure in the future....)

.

[Ilya]

In my view, both discipline and pain-pleasure principle are the ways to reach the same goal. They both work somehow, and they both use the same deep mechanisms of the mind or soul to reach the goal. In this sense they are like Chomsky's surface structures that are very different but reflect the same deep structures of meaning.
That's my IMHO, but anyways, keep arguing, this debate is thought provoking.

[Brutha]

Where are your “facts…???” your following quote is not facts… it is simply your opinion…

I have stated an opinion about facts. You have stated an opinion about what Jeremy Bentham had said 200 years ago (even if the fact is right that Jeremy Bentham said the thing you quote him for, it still is irrelevant to the question we are driven by pain&pleasure dynamics.

In my view, both discipline and pain-pleasure principle are the ways to reach the same goal.

The point is that they are different ways.

The core of our disagreement is not over different language... it over is the fact that Brutha claims that we can be directed by discipline and will power...

You won't find the term will power in my post.

@Behaviorism doesn’t work:
The article assumes that the reader knows that Behaviorism was accepted as true a few years ago.
The conclusion that is considered as downright right is "Behaviorism doesn’t work". If you read page one different, at the time you read the paragraph that is titled with "Behaviorism doesn’t work." on page 3 it should be clear that the author thinks "Behaviorism doesn’t work."

Then what is my position?
People you have the habit of being organized will even stay organized if it's produces pain.

For example there are two people live together (true story).
Before living together A put the butter from the fridge onto the table some time before she ate.
Then A lives together with B who doesn't share that habit.
The person A frequently complains to the other person for not sharing the habit. Those conflicts are pain for both persons.
Even when it would reduce pain for both persons if one of them would change their habit, neither of the two changes their habit.
B doesn't see why it is important for A to have warmer butter while A thinks she has to have warmer butter.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Ilya

Brutha and Shamou, I think your discussion is a classic case of using the different language to describe the same thing.

They can also borrow from Buddhism -

"everyone wants to seek happiness and avoid suffering."

Replace "happiness" with pleasure, and "suffering" with pain, and you get _____.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

They can also borrow from Buddhism -

"everyone wants to seek happiness and avoid suffering."

Replace "happiness" with pleasure, and "suffering" with pain, and you get _____.

And you get the fact that Shamou was right... once again...

.

[Hawkeye]

Hello Sri,

It appears that your goal is to qualify to become a CPA. As you said, “I have one of the most important challenges of my life just ahead.” I assume you will grow and improve as a person in a number of ways to achieve this goal, becoming more disciplined, being just one-way.

Using a life coach to achieve this goal is an excellent way to succeed, and at a much faster pace than you would without a coach. Where Tony Robbins gives wonderful advice, your coach will make sure you complete your goals. Smart move.

You also require this coach to work on your behalf for free. One of the most critical conditions to achieving your goals through coaching is that you invest something into the process. After all you will be growing and improving as a person. You are the most important asset you will ever have. When you paid for your schooling, you were investing in you. When you pay for the CPA exams, you will be investing in you. Etc.

Yet, now you refuse to invest in you. Your coach must do all of the investing.

Contrary to some recommendations given here, I recommend strongly that you do not meet your coach. Your success rate triples by not meeting your coach. Your amount of time to succeed will be reduced in half by not meeting your coach. Plus, and this appears to be a very big one for you, your chances of connecting with a life coach who will allow you to offer some other form of investment in you, other than money, is excellent with a phone coach.

You can contact any of the over 250 coaching schools to find recent graduates who would be willing to coach you without a fee payment but would seek other forms of investment from you, that you might be willing to do. Like provide accounting services as trade. Since these schools graduate approximately 10,000 new coaches a year, your chances look real good.

[chrisbell]

I wonder if you really need a coach or just the right personal development information given to you in a structured way to keep you on track.

[justfiverules]

Sri,

Here's a free find-a-coach tool from one of the leading "Coaching Accreditation" organizations.

CRS

While I don't have any connection with the coaches listed here, the fact that their details are listed implies they are serious about their coaching business and, just as importantly, their professional reputations.

Quite a few of these coaches are marketing to the (higher paying) executive market. However, don't let that put you off - if you are politely persistent, you can probably be referred to a good but new coach who may do some 'pro-bono' coaching to build up their experience and profile (rather as private pilots do to acquire 'flying hours' and higher certifications..)

If you have reliable access to Internet and Skype then you should be able to have a coach based anywhere in the world. An increasing number of pro coaches are using those tools to reach clients worldwide.

Good luck!