Advancement for the work-life balancer.

[TheIronStar]

For those who believe in work-life balance and work-life separation:

How much time outside the office do you spend on outside work related to your career?

Is work-life separation considered passe' in this age among the set who wish to rocket up in one's career in high-paying occupations?

These are questions I'm trying to figure answers to myself, so I'd like to hear your thoughts also.

Just for clarification of my own situation: Oftentimes people who write of work-life balance are those looking to start families. In my case, that's not what it's about. Rather, I've seen what happened when other people burned themselves out, or what happened when their lives focused solely on work and nothing else, and realized that I wanted no part of that--I wanted to also have a full social life and time to keep my body in good shape, as well as some personal time. However, I wonder whether I'm knocking myself out of the running for real advancement these days, as keeping up with technologies, business, etc. seems to be more and more all-consuming, and it seems that the real rewards go to people who live and breathe their careers.

As for work-life separation, I do not believe in spending my days digitally tethered to the workplace more than absolutely necessary, and do I currently blend work relationships and personal relationships.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by TheIronStar

For those who believe in work-life balance and work-life separation:

In an effort to try to answer your question, I would like to present the way that Tony Robbins sees himself...

Now, I believe that we can all agree that he is a super-achiever... however, he also has found a way to be an all around guy...

So, I believe that the answer to your question would be in a well thought out planning and execution of your life's plan... if well done... it is possible to have your cake and eat it too...

Here's Tony self-description...

"I am a creator of possibility, an instigator of joy, a catalyst for growth, a builder of people, and a producer of passion. I am not a motivator, a preacher, or a guru. I am a coach, an entrepreneur, a husband, a father, a lover, a friend, an entertainer, a television personality, a nationally best-selling author, one of the most impactful speaker in the nation,

...a black belt, a jet helicopter pilot, an international businessman, a health expert, an advocate for the homeless, a philanthropist, a teacher, a person who makes a difference, a force for good, a healer, a challenger…

...and a fun, outrageous, and humble kind o’ guy! I identify with the highest elements of my self, and I view those facets of me that are not yet perfect as an opportunity for growth rather than as character flaws."

Hope this helps a little...

The very best of luck to you...

.

[Catlover]

TheIronStar--I think it is very true that people today are looking for work/life balance for reasons other than or in addition to parenting responsibilities. As I move out of a parenting role in the next couple of years, I am definitely not planning to become mono-focused on work. I want to have the time to develop my other interests, as well as to exercise and take care of my body which is a "must" because of a poor family health history.

I work in HR, and I also see a number of employees who want the same. I hate to say it, but they tend to be Generation X, Y or Millenials. The older Baby Boomers are less likely to desire work/life balance and more likely to want to work very long hours which they call their "work ethic." Some can be short-sighted about others' choices. While the Baby Boomers are still in the seats of power within companies, it may be difficult to get ahead without emulating their approach. I see articles all of the time about the labor shortage that's going to ensure when the Baby Boomers retire, but quite frankly, I don't see much of an indication that they are going to do so any time soon. I think they will want to continue to build their 401ks unless poor health forces them out of the workforce. I have nothing against Baby Boomers and am technically one myself, but find that life experience has made me identify more with some of the other generations.

I urge you to continue to pursue work/life balance and advancement. Look for a forward-thinking company, and before interviewing anywhere, think up some thought-provoking questions designed to reveal what their culture really is like. Ask these questions later in the interview process once they have identified some interest in you. See if they measure success by results versus effort. I don't know what field you are in, and some (like law, for example) are more structured around hours than results. Those careers might be ones to avoid.

If you are a person who can achieve results and can learn their business and what makes it tick, most of the time I think they will let you have your work/life balance. I think the effort to find such a company will be worthwhile.

[justfiverules]

Originally Posted by TheIronStar

For those who believe in work-life balance and work-life separation:
..However, I wonder whether I'm knocking myself out of the running for real advancement these days, as keeping up with technologies, business, etc. seems to be more and more all-consuming, and it seems that the real rewards go to people who live and breathe their careers.

You know, i thought long and hard about that...and concluded that if i was going to "live and breathe my career" from my 40s onwards, it would be on my own terms. And so i left the Corp world after 20 fun years doing mostly what i loved to do;-). However, that took a few years (tears?) of preparation before pressing the eject button...

And in my particular case, Middle Age did have a mellowing influence on the crazy stunts of my 20s and 30s, like pulling all nighters etc...

Your mileage may vary.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by TheIronStar

However, I wonder whether I'm knocking myself out of the running for real advancement these days, as keeping up with technologies, business, etc. seems to be more and more all-consuming, and it seems that the real rewards go to people who live and breathe their careers.

Whatever you believe will be true for you. If you think that you can succeed very well in your career only if you sacrifice other aspects of your life, then this will be true for you. If you think that it is possible to succeed very well in your career while doing lots of other things as well, then this will be true for you.

Your beliefs shape your reality.

[Shamou]

TheIronStar!

If you want some inspiration on "eating your cake and having it too" I suggest that you buy a copy of the 1987 film, "Wall Street" starring Michael Douglas as Gordon Gekko...

Very inspirational film about a happy, successful and all around guy... though, it might not be a testimonial for ethics and morals... but, hey, no one is perfect...

I have viewed that film over twenty times... and I still get a charge and a boost out of it...

.

[silicon toad2000]

It's seems to be a rule of thumb that your salary is reflective of the portion of your life you are prepared to give up for work.
I have seen exceptions to this rule, but more often than not it works.
I believe it has been discussed in other posts that this is reflective of people who don't 'work for the man'. I'm sure there is very little of Richard Bransons life that aren't spent furthering his empire in some way, likewise with the trumps and packers and (insert relevant uber-wealthy personality here).

[Tristan]

I agree that there must be a balance between work and personal life, but I also believe that this applies directly to working for someone else. The rules change when you are working for yourself and doing what you love to do because then work no longer is work.

I remember a lecture given by Dr. John Maxwell where he was giving a story of Thomas Edison. He said that Edison's wife told him to take a vacation and go someplace he loved. 5am the next morning, his wife found him in the basement of their home working on his inventions and she got mad at him, at which point he interupted her by saying, "This is it! I am where I love to be"

Regardless whether you are an employee or an entrepreneur, the balance comes when you are not sacrificing the other aspects of your personal growth because of that job. If your relationships or your health are deteriorating because of your job, then of course that is not a balanced life.

But if you are passionate about what you are doing, then work no longer becomes work and can't be viewed through this lens. So I guess my final thoughts are do what you love and make sure that all the other aspects of your personal growth are healthy as well and you will be living your purpose.

[Catlover]

Tristan--what you wrote is so true. I hope that everyone in this forum can find something we love to do that is in harmony with our personal growth.

[TheIronStar]

Originally Posted by silicon toad2000

It's seems to be a rule of thumb that your salary is reflective of the portion of your life you are prepared to give up for work.
I have seen exceptions to this rule, but more often than not it works.
I believe it has been discussed in other posts that this is reflective of people who don't 'work for the man'. I'm sure there is very little of Richard Bransons life that aren't spent furthering his empire in some way, likewise with the trumps and packers and (insert relevant uber-wealthy personality here).

Well, basically the issue is even nastier than your rule of thumb implies.
What's scaring me is not that the balancer gets the 80k/year job and the fanatic the 90k/year job; it's that it seems more and more that the fanatic gets the 70k/year job and that the balancer doesn't even get any interviews. (My definition of work-life balancer here is someone who keeps work hours to something they consider reasonable and does not spend his/her off-time doing job- or line-of-work-related things.)

What is 'work for the man'?

I'm sure that at some level of wealth, one has to literally have it be one's life, but that's just not a price I'm willing to pay; I've seen what happens when people burn out.

Originally Posted by Tristan

I agree that there must be a balance between work and personal life, but I also believe that this applies directly to working for someone else. The rules change when you are working for yourself and doing what you love to do because then work no longer is work.

Not everyone in business for themselves necessarily loves what they do. I have no reason to believe that small-business owners necessarily are immune to burnout, lack of a personal life, or even just infuriating tedium.

[Ilya]

TheIronStar,

I'm sure that at some level of wealth, one has to literally have it be one's life, but that's just not a price I'm willing to pay; I've seen what happens when people burn out.

I wouldn't call this level of wealth. It is some level of scarcity thinking and poverty, it just looks good because of the money. Then a huge crash follows. I doubt that any real wealth can be achieved by workaholism.

Not everyone in business for themselves necessarily loves what they do. I have no reason to believe that small-business owners necessarily are immune to burnout, lack of a personal life, or even just infuriating tedium.

True, but the percentage of balanced business owners is higher. Simply because a business with burned-out leader crashes much faster then a career. A case of natural selection.

[TheIronStar]

Originally Posted by Ilya

True, but the percentage of balanced business owners is higher. Simply because a business with burned-out leader crashes much faster then a career. A case of natural selection.

Perhaps. And in doing so we ignore all the ones that failed long-term.

Anyways, I am asking this from the point of view of an employee who is likely to remain an employee in the foreseeable future.

[silicon toad2000]

'the man' is a term used for any authority figure such as bosses and such, basically working for a company.

The thing here as a number of people have hit on is that for the uber successful, there is no balance needed. If you need to balance your life, to ensure you spend time away from work just to recharge or prevent burnout, then perhaps it's not the right field to be in.

I believe the really successful people are those that feel recharged by spending time in or on their business, which they enjoy and are passionate about.

[ragtag]

I think that even if you love your work you need a balance.

Take the game industry for instance. Most of the people working in games are young males who love games and love making games. They usually don't have families and happily put in long hours doing what they love. The average career for a games developers is around 2-3 years. They burn out quicker than a house on fire, or realize they are burning out and quit even though they love (or at least used to) their work.

This is even more true with work that uses mainly one "muscle". Like game programing, which is all about logic. I believe combining activities that use different "muscles" is very important to having a balanced life. You may be lucky, and have a job that does that, but most of use are not. At the moment I make a living as a programer, so I try to do different things in my free time, like exercise, socialize and draw comics. I have a couple of small programing projects in my drawer at home, but I'll leave them for later when my work will be more focused on artistic work.

ragtag