Need some advice.

[gus]

Hey everyone,

I'm currently in a rough situation, and could use some suggestions
on how to deal with it.

Right now I'm living in a place that's too far to get a job without a car.
I also need to start school in about 45 days or I'll lose my scholarship.

Now, my dad has promised to give me a car on June 15th because he's
currently in some legal settlement, but he's been delaying it. So, It's
doubtful that I'll actually get a car by then. My mother also said she's
been saving up, but won't disclose the amount, and said she's put it
into "other things". This also leaves me doubtful.

So, there's a good chance I won't be getting a car by the time I actually need it. This situation leaves me stuck in my room for weeks at a time, causing me to get random fits of depression. I'm also sleeping around 10 hours a day, from around 6am to 4pm.

Any suggestions on how to fix this?

Thanks,
Gus

[Brutha]

Have you thought about moving somewhere near school (schools generally are in towns so you could get a job near school)?

[gus]

I was going to commute from home to school. It's about a 40 minute drive.
It's a small community college so I don't think they have dorms. I can't really think of anyone close to that area that I could move in with either.

There are a lot of places I could work around the area though, but wouldn't it be dangerous to just move into some place without money?

[ZHereford]

As Brutha suggested you could try to move closer, however if that's not possible you're going to have to discipline yourself to:

a) not sleep so much
b) find activities to occupy your body (go for walks) and mind
(read, write, reflect)
c) do some problem solving
d) acquire patience


I'm sure that everything will work out in the end. Stay positive and productive.

[gus]

Thanks for the replies.
I'll try the things mentioned above.

[Ree]

Gus, check to see if the community college has any classes offered online. This will keep you occupied and allow you to accumulate some college credits. Good luck!

[gus]

On the subject of sleep,
has anyone had any luck with this:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...larm-goes-off/

[Sunnybayes]

You need some motivation.

Motivation is intrinsically linked to reason.

If you can answer these questions, I'll help you find some motivation. You might find this exercise pointless, but trust me.

First of all,

What is the reason that you are going to school?

[gus]

Well, I'd like to learn more.
I'm also hoping to make some new friends.
And most of the jobs I want require a bachelor's degree is computer science, so I want to work towards that.

[gus]

Hey all,

I just thought I'd update you on what's been going on.
I didn't go to sleep the night before last, so I could get my sleep schedule
fixed up. Went to sleep at 9pm last night, woke up around 4am and listened
to music until 5am. (My original plan was to wake up at 5am, so I just stayed in bed until then ). Then I exercised, took a shower, ate breakfast, and meditated. It's 7am right now. I'd like to play guitar but I'm not sure if it's going to wake up my parents.

I've also put myself on a tentative schedule, started journaling, and creating a daily and month TODO list. Hopefully I'll keep this up.

@ZHereford:
Thanks for pointing out what I've been missing for quite some time.
It seems like the obvious solutions are the ones we overlook.

@Brutha:
My friend is moving back into down, and his (ex?)girlfriend suggested that we get an apartment together. I think I'll do this.

@Sunnybayes:
I think I've found some motivation. I mean, I must have if I'm doing all of this stuff right? I think it's from just being comfortable with myself.

Thanks all,
be happy

[Ak47]

Ahah, your sleep schedule is similar to mine.

Get a job and buy a clunker if you must. Can't your parents take you to work for 45 days? Any full time job (especially if you don't have to pay for gas to get there) with good saving practice should get you $1000 in 45 days. You can find old running cars for around the $1k mark. If you buy from a private seller have a machanic you trust (if you know one) check it out first. Have one check it even if you don't know/trust him. Something is better than nothing.

All you need is something to hold you over until your father can back up his claim, or your mother can help you out. So what if you get some pos for a few months, even a year. You wont have to drive it forever, and you don't have to live in it.

I might suggest trying to find a car made by Geo. They're often cheap, a bit older. Internally they're identical to Toyotas though, so they run forever.

Another option may be giving someone gas money to carpool with- if you know/can find someone willing.

[ZHereford]

Gus, good for you!
Sometimes it just takes putting things out there to address them and work on them. All the best to you!

[gus]

Hm, I started to get tired around 9 so I took a nap, it lasted around 6 hours.
Did my body need to make up for the sleep I didn't get two nights before?
I'm a little worried that I'll have trouble sleeping tonight now.

[gus]

Ok, everything fell apart.
I'm now sleep until 4 or 5pm everyday, and getting around 12 hours of sleep.
There's no way for me to leave the house since my cousin is out of town, and he's the only person who's willing to pick me up.

I'm not sure what to do.

Any help is appreciated.

[Tristan]

Hey Gus,

According to the time log on your posts, on July 19th you were trying a new plan and on July 23rd you say you dropped out of that plan--That's only 5 days! It takes a minimum of 21 days to reprogram a behavior. It sounds like you were on the right track, but it could be that you were trying to bite off more than you could chew. Start with a few behavior changes at a time instead of a whole life makeover...That might help you to stick with a program. Remember repetition, repetition, repetition.

Exercise as a Prescribed Sleep Aid

The sleeping problem that you have is typical when you're stuck at home for most of the time because really, what else is there to do? Many inmates in prison exhibit similar types of sleeping behavior because they are plainly bored. The best way to cure this with moderately strenuous exercise on a regular basis. Get some movement into your body...and no, you don't need a Hammerstrength Machine....Do some physical labor around the house--Rocky 4 style

Exercise to Clear the Mind Used by America's Finest

Chuck Yaeger, who was the first pilot to travel at Mach 1 speeds and also a highly-decorated combat pilot who was the only pilot able to take down an advanced-model German Messerschmitt jet in his older propeller-driven P-51 Mustang, was also a simple man who loved doing manual labor to clear his head. He would go in his backyard and chop wood for hours, not only to stay in shape, but also as a form of meditation.

Bill Phillips, Founder and former CEO of EAS and Muscle Media Magazine once said, "If you strengthen your body, you strengthen your mind and your will to succeed." I'm a big advocate of this because fitness has a way of giving you energy and making your mind much more alert and creative....Even ask Steve Pavlina...He works out all the time. But most of all, exercise will force your body to get the sleep you need when you need it at night and will give you energy during the day. I'd also cut the junk food, but this is not a health post here, so I won't delve into that here.

Adapt and Overcome

One thing I learned as a former street cop is the meaning of "adapt and overcome." If you place the responsibility on others to help you out, then essentially, you become the victim of your own life and you give all your power away to external people and events. Ask yourself what is important right now and what you really want for yourself. Then ask yourself how badly do you really want it. Then ask yourself what must you do, or give up, in order for you to get what you want and then comit to paying that price. If college and a job and holding your scholarship are priorities, then it might mean hitting the the classifieds and networking with people there to find a place to stay until you find a job or can afford a car. Believe it or not, people are willing to help, but it's your responsibility to ask for it and bring their help into your own life and not rely on waiting for others to offer it to you because their priorities are rarely your priorities. Take charge of your life by telling yourself....."Self.....this is what I want and this is what I'm prepared to do to get it, and that's how it's gonna be."

Creative Will

I'm a strong believer that if there is a will, then there is a way to make it happen. Your key ability that you need to learn in order to make this happen in your life is RESPONSIBILITY.

I have faith in your ability to produce positive change in your life...Go after it like a Champion would!

[gus]

Thanks Tristian, I'm trying out the advice right now.

I did my usually "stay up the night before and go to sleep around 8am the next time" action plan. This time I didn't take a nap. A very strange thing happened though. I went to sleep at 8pm, and woke up full of energy at midnight. I managed sleep a little longer until 3am. That's only 7 hours of sleep, it doesn't sound right for missing a nights worth of sleep. Last time I did this I needed a 5 hour nap at 9am. I'm not going to let myself have it this time though.

I got about 8 minutes of exercise by running in place. My calves are sore from it, but I guess that's because I haven't really ran much in my entire life.

[Freelancer]

Do you have any time consuming hobby's?

Perhaps you can practice making computer programs or whatever, reading about it and thinking about. Think of it as preparation for college.

Meeting people can happen anywhere, go for long walks and your destined to run into some of those buggers (humans are like everywhere jeez).

The long walks will also get you MOVING (which reminds me, gotta walk a bit in a few minutes hehe) which will make you feel better immediatley.


Basically you can study anwhere anytime anything these days, just open the webbrowser go to google and type in your subject than start reading about it. Make up challenging excersizes to keep you mind busy, perhaps try to make a new 'impossible' software program while your at it. Basically figure out something to keep your mind occupied thats productive and fun at the same time. Sleeping 12 hours a day is a ****ing waste of time and time is one of the most precious 'substances' in history...