Why i cant persist?

[taitouwah]

i always set goals and things to do for the week.
normally for the first 3 days i can persist and follow what i plan to do.
But when i come to the 4th and 5th day , started to feel lazy and my mind are telling me " i dont want to do it but i have to" , in the end i will stop to do it on the 4th day.

what is the scientific reason to explain why cant i persist ?

[Truefire]

Have you tried reading the nearby blog? Have you come up with anything on your own?

Tell the people something more about you. Nobody can answer your question as is.

[Iamsuperman]

You aren't succeeding because you are living at a level in your life where you just do whatever you feel doing. If you want to stick to your decisions then you have to live at a level higher then that. In other words doing what you feel like doing would have to be your second priority in life, and your big decisions first.

[taitouwah]

thanks superman ... nice answer

[Chris_1977]

I have this as well. I did notice that in my case it is influenced by the quality of the goals that I want to reach. If the goals are not really that interesting for me, it is natural to not feel like going for them. Another possibility is that you try to spend too much time on activities that require your full concentration. I think a well-balanced life is necessary to be able to go for your goals. You also need to relax. It can also be that some other parts of your life need to be improved first because they are dragging you down. Obviously, I do not know how it is with you, but these are the things that I experience(d).

What Lamsuperman said can also be true. I would say that I indeed am not yet a level high enough to really give priority to my goals over what I feel like doing at the moment (at least quite often not), altough I am trying to get there. However, just stating this is not so very practical. So, how about some hints on how to reach this higher level, Lamsuperman (or others)? Maybe the things I mentioned in the previous paragraph, are enough for me to reach this level, I do not yet know.

[ck1979]

I definitely have this problem as well. I'm working to overcome this, as evident by my accountability thread here.

So far, what seems to work best is self-forgiveness. Usually, I gave up on goals because I felt I was incapable of completing them. It was an all-or-nothing sort of perspective. Instead, I try to tell myself: I've spent years setting and breaking goals...it will take some time to get over that pattern. So, even if I work 10% towards a goal, whereas before I only did 5%, it's a victory. Some people are great with ambitious steps. Me, it seems that small, baby steps are much more effective.

[Iamsuperman]

Originally Posted by Chris_1977

However, just stating this is not so very practical. So, how about some hints on how to reach this higher level, Lamsuperman (or others)? Maybe the things I mentioned in the previous paragraph, are enough for me to reach this level, I do not yet know.

It's like brushing your teeth every morning. You decide to do it, and even if you don't feel like it you follow through on your decision anyways. You can apply this when you set a goal, and you know that you can achieve it by taking action. Make a plan, then decide to stick to that plan even when you don't feel like it. When you feel like petering out and doing something that's against your decision, remind yourself to live above you emotions (or however you have interpreted this idea), set you current emotions aside and take action.

[sadavis00]

You can't keep your promises because you no longer identify with your past self who promised. You felt something when you promised yourself, you no longer feel it. You need to renew that feeling, but if it was a weak feeling in the first place, you won't be able to renew it. You, now, are in a comfortable place, you don't feel the same thing that motivated you make your resolution, you naturally think to yourself "why should my past self be my master" in that I now have to keep "his" resolutions? Resolutions that even "he" would probably fail at keeping.

I don't know how to resolve this problem, but I find that if I make my resolutions less ambitious, applicable for a shorter duration, and renewed almost on a daily basis, then I can get something done without feeling a slave to my past self who I no longer identify with.

[Sam988]

Originally Posted by taitouwah

i always set goals and things to do for the week.
normally for the first 3 days i can persist and follow what i plan to do.
But when i come to the 4th and 5th day , started to feel lazy and my mind are telling me " i dont want to do it but i have to" , in the end i will stop to do it on the 4th day.

what is the scientific reason to explain why cant i persist ?

I have the same problem sometimes


I guess the best way to solve it is self-forgiveness followed by a commitment to achieve your next goal. And make sure to make the goal small and achievable, so you move on to bigger goals after you completed the smaller ones

[taitouwah]

Originally Posted by Chris_1977

I have this as well. I did notice that in my case it is influenced by the quality of the goals that I want to reach. If the goals are not really that interesting for me, it is natural to not feel like going for them. Another possibility is that you try to spend too much time on activities that require your full concentration. I think a well-balanced life is necessary to be able to go for your goals. You also need to relax. It can also be that some other parts of your life need to be improved first because they are dragging you down. Obviously, I do not know how it is with you, but these are the things that I experience(d).

Yes i totally agree with you chris. Sometimes i set too demanding goal ( too much time needed) such as LEARN NEW WORDS FOR 3HRS A DAY . .

Agreed with the point "well balanced life is needed" i fix a demanding time table for the whole day without giving my self any rest time other than sleep . Even social live is neglected.

"other part of life is dragging me down" this is totally true. I always feel loneliness doing all my task alone and i always wanted to have a girl friend. Maybe i should tackle this tricky part too.

[taitouwah]

Originally Posted by sadavis00

You can't keep your promises because you no longer identify with your past self who promised. You felt something when you promised yourself, you no longer feel it. You need to renew that feeling, but if it was a weak feeling in the first place, you won't be able to renew it. You, now, are in a comfortable place, you don't feel the same thing that motivated you make your resolution, you naturally think to yourself "why should my past self be my master" in that I now have to keep "his" resolutions? Resolutions that even "he" would probably fail at keeping.

I don't know how to resolve this problem, but I find that if I make my resolutions less ambitious, applicable for a shorter duration, and renewed almost on a daily basis, then I can get something done without feeling a slave to my past self who I no longer identify with.

Sadavis , very nice point stated. I also experienced before what u had mentioned, but i can't describe that experience out , only after reading ur post i am totally agreed with u!

some times to conquer this problem , (to renew the feeling) , i read some books says reading out the reason (why want to do those goal ) before sleeping and after waking up will helps to keep us motivated.

Personally i believe that if we can set a target and do it without stopping half way and persist all the way till the end , that person will always success in any area of life. But the trick is how to maintain motivation all the time. Once the trick is found , SUCCESS IS VERY NEAR.

[taitouwah]

Thanks for all your advice and sharing useful experience. Really happy to have so many people replying to this thread . Now only i know i am not alone facing this problem

I want to share something:
1.I realize doing the same task ( to achieve target ) less often in a week , the more possible it is to maintain that task and persist
2.If still have to do on a daily basis , try to modify the task a bit everyday , without repeating the same thing day after day .
3.Dont do the task alone .

For example :
1. rather than SWIMMING EVERYDAY , swim twice per week is more easy to maintain. (experiencing it now)
2.rather than SWIMMING BREAST STOKE ( SWIM ALONE ) everyday , swim alone on monday , swim with girl's friend on tuesday , go for swimming lesson on wednesday , do swimming training on thursday (leg training) and train upper body on friday. ( experiencing it now and it works!)
3.rather than study 30 min everyday , study only on wednesday (2hr) and saturday(2hr).


i dont know why but it just helps. Maybe because the brain dont get bored so easily and avoid ourself from thinking " y am i so dumb doing the same thing again and again everyday?what is it for? y dont i just sleep in house now?"

[joshbickford]

You need to set higher goals. Something you want to, and must strive for.

Boring, lame, stupid crap never gets done by even the most motivated of people. It's the things that bring excitement to our lives that we can always find a way to achieve.

[Angela]

Try a more empowering question: "Why WON'T I?"
Or an even more empowering question: "What can I do to inspire myself to reach my goals?"


I agree with Iamsuperman and JoshBickford that it works better to start with your highest inspirations, and let your shorter-term aspirations arise out of them. When you're faced with the normal day-to-day laziness or whatever else gets in your way, you can then re-invoke your inspiration and take a fresh look at the task at hand, only this time filled with inspiration.

So, what inspires you? From what you've posted in this thread, I would guess:

Vitality
Romantic connection
Gratitude

Once you've seen your own inspiration, then you can create goals that are in alignment with them.

Best wishes!

[Erock]

I also found with such things as procrastination and determination that a lot of times these are activities where we our conscious minds have to be silent and we have to trust our subconscious. It seems that our conscious egos don't want to let go, which creates more resistance to goals requiring the silencing of the mind.

Erock