Resolve Arguments like a Pro with 7 Proven Techniques

[JohnPlace]

Hey guys,

A while ago, I wrote a post on my blog sharing my professional experiences with conflict resolution. This article is really starting to pick up steam with a few of the social networking sites, so I figured it might be something that my friends here would enjoy reading.

Resolve Arguments Like a Pro with 7 Proven Techniques

Feel free to drop in and leave a comment, if you like.

[JimC]

Interesting. I find that 6 and 3 works the best for me. We happen to use a lot of these techniques without even thinking about it.

[JohnPlace]

Originally Posted by JimC

Interesting. I find that 6 and 3 works the best for me. We happen to use a lot of these techniques without even thinking about it.

I have found that 3,6 and 7 often happen without any concerted effort, but that techniques 1 and 2 require will (with 1 requiring actual work); and 5 can be quite challenging in the wrong hands.

It's a lot of common sense, but sometimes that's just what we need when we're in the midst of an argument.

[Shamou]

Great article as always John…

One other great cause of argument is our “personal rules…”

We all have personal rules for almost every aspect of life… and we mistakenly think that those rules are universal…

As an example… one person may feel that children should be free to express themselves in almost any way they want… while another as the rule that children should behave and be respectful…

In a case like that… if these two people are surrounded by unruly children… there is bound to be some sort of friction…

So, if people realize that the source of friction is caused by different personal rules… and not a right or wrong situation, they could either discuss those rules… or simply decide which is preferable… peace or upholding a personal rule…

.

[JohnPlace]

Originally Posted by Shamou

Great article as always John…

One other great cause of argument is our “personal rules…”

We all have personal rules for almost every aspect of life… and we mistakenly think that those rules are universal…

As an example… one person may feel that children should be free to express themselves in almost any way they want… while another as the rule that children should behave and be respectful…

In a case like that… if these two people are surrounded by unruly children… there is bound to be some sort of friction…

So, if people realize that the source of friction is caused by different personal rules… and not a right or wrong situation, they could either discuss those rules… or simply decide which is preferable… peace or upholding a personal rule…

.

Excellent advice, Shamou. You are so right.

[Liara Covert]

I also like the article John. My question to you would be what strategies would you use to approach people who appear to be unwilling to compromise, unwilling to negotiate, and who also prove themselves to be rather underhanded?

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Liara Covert

I also like the article John. My question to you would be what strategies would you use to approach people who appear to be unwilling to compromise, unwilling to negotiate, and who also prove themselves to be rather underhanded?

Personally I would beat the crap out of them...

Sorry... I could not resist posting that... the devil made me do it...

.

[JohnPlace]

Originally Posted by Liara Covert

I also like the article John. My question to you would be what strategies would you use to approach people who appear to be unwilling to compromise, unwilling to negotiate, and who also prove themselves to be rather underhanded?

Liara, these strategies were developed in a work environment -- and believe me, the work world sees just as many difficult personalities as the personal world.

I've run into project sponsors who refused to budge for what I suspected to be alterior motives. I've seen cliques who wanted to do their own thing in spite of clear, supported direction. I've seen personality conflicts, bad tempers, and personal issues.

And I still think the first step is making an attempt to truly understand the point of view of the person on the other end of the argument. Often what we assume to be selfishness on the part of our opponent is just a different set of priorities or a different way of looking at the world.

Of course, it is possible that you may find that a person's point of view cannot be reconciled with your own (or even understood except in a selfish context), but it's important to arrive at that conclusion after a concerted effort to understand.

In my experience, 95% of the people in the world will be fair if you listen to them and give them a fair shot to be understood. The remaining 5% are a challenge for us all.