How do you sparkle passion?

[energizedenterprises]

Hi everyone,
I'm new here and have enjoyed reading the replies to the question of How do you get passion. For me, passion comes in different forms. The passion to be successful is very strong for me, but staying grounded and keeping my family grounded are more important. I get passion from my kids who are always proud of me no matter what. I get further passion by reading personal development books and doing daily affirmations of my visions. Without the vision of where we want to be or what we want out of life, the passion to get there ceases.

Success to all,

[Liara Covert]

I agree with Angela that passions tend to be uncovered in the course of living, but only by those people who open their senses up wide enough to recognize them.

For me, passions are people and pursuits that spark my enthusiasm and also empower me to feel good about myself. I also know people who associate passion with intense suffering.

[Namaste]

How do you fall in love?

You do something, you like it, you do it some more, you like it even stronger, and before you know it, it envelopes you, it guides your life, and fills you up with energy and meaning.

But I never really had to make it happen, it kind of happens to me.

[Ilya]

Shamou, when you are passionate, how do you know you are? How do you tell?

Of course this is a question from NLP, and it is one of the few things in NLP that are actually useful.

You see, passion is one of those fake nouns. Like love, strength, sleep, happiness, pain. They are not things, they are processes going on in our minds and bodies. If we become aware of how exactly such a process goes on, we can do intersting things. When I found out how my pain unfolds, I learned to create pain-killers inside my body. When I learned how my "awake" process works, I can go from asleep to fully awake (or vice versa) in three steps and two seconds.

Of course, when you deal this way with value loaded matters like love or passion, it destroys the romance and mystery. I guess that it is one of the reasons people do not like NLP, or Pick-up Artists. People don't like autopsying love or friendship.

[Jill]

Originally Posted by Shamou

It's an hypothetical question designed to stir the gray matter of our elite and share the wisdom...

My point was that it is unexplainable and not something you can attempt to do or have.

You either are passionate about something or you're not. You can't fake passion, and you can't simply "decide" to be passionate about something.

Therefore if you have to ask...

(And I didn't mean you, Shamou, just people who don't actually understand what it is.)

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Jill

You either are passionate about something or you're not. You can't fake passion, and you can't simply "decide" to be passionate about something.

Maybe it's just me... or maybe we have a confusion in the semantic... but I feel that I could get passionate about anything that is important enough to warrant the effort...

The way that I would do that is...

1. Attach great importance to whatever I want to be passionate about...

2. Adopt the position that "state control" (being able to get passionate whenever I want too) is essential to self-mastery and that self-mastery is the ultimate mastery... or the peak of self-development....

.

[Jill]

I guess. That just seems really fake to me, which would be the opposite of passion.

[Namaste]

Originally Posted by Shamou

Maybe it's just me... or maybe we have a confusion in the semantic... but I feel that I could get passionate about anything that is important enough to warrant the effort...

The way that I would do that is...

1. Attach great importance to whatever I want to be passionate about...

2. Adopt the position that "state control" (being able to get passionate whenever I want too) is essential to self-mastery and that self-mastery is the ultimate mastery... or the peak of self-development....

.

If you want to be passionate about something, aren't you already passionate about it? And if you're not, then the question is - why make yourself? Why not get passionate about something that comes naturally?

It's another story if you need to get something done in order to achieve some higher purpose. Then you can make yourself enthusiastic about doing this particular task. E.g., I need to do lots of data collection, data entry, checking and re-checking etc. to write a research paper. And I can do those things enthusiastically. But I wouldn't say I'm passionate about data entry itself, but rather research, knowledge gain, being creative etc.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Namaste

And if you're not, then the question is - why make yourself? Why not get passionate about something that comes naturally?

We have two choices... we can chose to lead a passionate life... or join the ranks of those who will lead boring and meaningless lives... being governed by the whimsical effects of circumstances...

Anyone can have passion for most of the good things in life... but it takes someone who has mastery to determine where that passion will be directed... and I believe, that is what PD is mostly about...

.

Originally Posted by Jill

That just seems really fake to me,

Mark Victor Hansen used to say, "Fake it 'till you make it baby..."

.

[Namaste]

Originally Posted by Shamou

We have two choices... we can chose to lead a passionate life... or join the ranks of those who will lead boring and meaningless lives... being governed by the whimsical effects of circumstances...

Hang on, you are talking about passion vs. no passion here, and I was talking about being passionate about something that comes naturally (e.g. for me, it's language and culture) vs. making yourself passionate about things you have no interest in (e.g. for me, it's the stock market). Are you saying my life is boring and meaningless because I am not making myself passionate about things that aren't interesting to me? I think not

Originally Posted by Shamou

Anyone can have passion for most of the good things in life... but it takes someone who has mastery to determine where that passion will be directed... and I believe, that is what PD is mostly about...

Once again, I believe directing your passion is different to making yourself passionate about particular things. Former is about action and growth and development while latter is, as was said here before, unneccessary and fake.

[Liara Covert]

I suppose you could lie to yourself, but I don't believe you could really MAKE yourself passionate about things. You either discover you are or you aren't.

To me, discovering sources of passion is part of a process or life journey. To reinforce passions one you realize them brings passion to a whole new level of intensity and fulfillment.

[Ilya]

How do you tell fake passion from the real thing?
Reminds me of a joke. Fake Christmas decorations - they look exactly like the real thing, just don't make the kids happy.

Knowing if something is "real" is tricky. We learned to consider some things as real and some as fake. I think it is mostly a cultural thing.

For example if an American, Canadian or European meets a distant acquaintance in the street, the usual reaction to say "Hi!" and to smile. As far as I remember they would do it every time they meet each other, even if it is several times a day.
Do you consider this smile as "real"? I'm asking because any Russian thinks that this smile is as fake as it gets. Untrained Russians smile only if they can't help but smile spontaneously - when meeting a lover on a first date, when meeting a good friend they haven't met for years and are really happy to see, or when they are about to start conversation with a joke.

In response Western people usually think that the Russians they are talking to are sad and hostile.

When I lived in Britain, it took me about a year and a half to change my habits in this area. Until then, people were calling me "this weird guy". After I changed, I started making new friends every day.
So I can understand if someone thinks that passion has to be spontaneous, but this may not be the same for everyone.

[Uplift]

Originally Posted by Shamou

We have two choices... we can chose to lead a passionate life... or join the ranks of those who will lead boring and meaningless lives... being governed by the whimsical effects of circumstances...
.

I guess the question really is, as others are suggesting, can passion be faked, and is it worth doing so. Is it wiser to be honest and admit that we are not passionate about something, and be 'true to ourselves'... our choice, or is it better to attempt to be passionate about all things. You asserted in this post in the Character & Contribution Forum, in your thread, How far would you go to succeed financially… ???:

'And as far as Warren Buffet is concerned... I did read up a little on the guy and I find him as boring as rain on a Monday morning... sorry... he does not turn me on...'

So it seems it is pointless to fake passion, and that circumstances and choices do play an integral part in being passionate. As you state, somethings just don't turn us on. Unless you just chose at that time, to lead a 'boring as rain on a Monday morning, meaningless life' and in that instant became 'governed by the whimsical effects of circumstances...'

[Erki]

'And as far as Warren Buffet is concerned... I did read up a little on the guy and I find him as boring as rain on a Monday morning... sorry... he does not turn me on...'

I know nothing about Warren Buffet but I have to say that rainy Monday morning is awesome! I quite like rainy days. Really hot summer day with blazing sun isn't bad, but nothing can get close to a nice moist weather.

[Erki]

Originally Posted by Ilya

For example if an American, Canadian or European meets a distant acquaintance in the street, the usual reaction to say "Hi!" and to smile. As far as I remember they would do it every time they meet each other, even if it is several times a day.
Do you consider this smile as "real"? I'm asking because any Russian thinks that this smile is as fake as it gets. Untrained Russians smile only if they can't help but smile spontaneously - when meeting a lover on a first date, when meeting a good friend they haven't met for years and are really happy to see, or when they are about to start conversation with a joke.

In response Western people usually think that the Russians they are talking to are sad and hostile.

I remember once I was walking on street with a friend and we saw some Russian people talking quite heatedly and to me it looked like they were angry on something. My friend is bilingual and talks both Estonian and Russian very well, so I asked her, what did they talk about. Turned out they were discussing something related to school exams and actually they weren't angry at all. Sometimes when I hear Russian people talking, then I really hear them - for some reason many of them seem very loud to me and as I noted earlier, angry too. Perhaps it's just that they are more temperament and more passionate about their things.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Ilya

So I can understand if someone thinks that passion has to be spontaneous, but this may not be the same for everyone.

Very well said Ilya...

The ability to create passion whenever you like is a tool that can help you to be more effective... Using passion to do something is a little like using a power tool to cut lumber... you can accomplish whatever it is that you are doing much faster and more effectively...

And for those who are worried that "fake passion" as you call it... is not genuine... let me tell you this... being a person who can create passion at will certainly is genuine and that quality is the only one that will allow you to soar with the eagles...

If you don't believe that... show me someone who has succeeded without being passionate...

.

[Jill]

I do agree with you, Shamou, that one can simply decide to be passionate about something or someone. After all, we do have control over our reality, so if that's something you want to do, then you can simply make it so. And that would definitely not be faking it.

However, I'm not sure that most people would know how to do that, and would actually be faking it if they tried.

I have a little sticky note posted above my monitor which has been there awhile that says "change your script" which is to remind me to try to think about the things that irk me, in a new light (a paradigm shift if you will). It does work when I remember to do it.

For instance, if there are things about a person that annoy you, once you see things from their perspective and why they do/say what they do/say, often times you'll see that that person may actually be very passionate about what they're doing. And that's a good thing, not a bad thing. You just have to change your own reaction to it and it will no longer be annoying! (Slightly offtopic, but somewhat similar.)

[Shamou]

How do you get passionate… ??? You look at the whole picture…

Everything that you do is at the same time, 1) an expression of who "you" are and, 2) a building block for the "you" that you are building…

In whatever you do, you are an artist expressing yourself and designing who you are becoming… if you can’t get passionate about that… you’re either dead… or simply don’t understand what’s going on…

Life is the greatest gift there is… and that gift is limited to just so many days… now, each of us were dealt of hand of cards… and given free will… which includes the ability to chose how we will use those cards…

Some of us will plunge headlong into the game and play it with passion for as long as we can… while others will mope, whine, cry and play the victim until merciful Jack the Reaper puts an end to another miserable existence…

Now, knowing that… if anyone cannot get passionate at will… I simply give up…

.

[albertlee25]

Wow.. just 2 days after i replied to Shamou and this thread has so many discussions!!

After reading through all the messages, I have a new understanding here.

Majority of the population, including.. ahem.. me myself believed that we all have a passion for something within us, and the external factors, be it a sport, an item or whatever, must be in sync with our internal love and that will sparkle the passion out of us.

While most of us change the external factor to be in sync with our internal.. hm.. let's call it.. love, Shamou has offered a school of thought which challenges the very fundamental belief system we have, which is, instead of changing outside factor, why don't we change our internal mentality state to be in sync with whatever external factor we are dealing with??

I didn't quite get it at first, especially Shamou's example of swimming is very irrelevant! hahaa ( no offense my friend ) But after all these messages, it finally dawn on me.

What Shamou is trying to say is a higher level of self mastery. It is similar to self hypnotism, or self motivation through visual, audio and actions to keep oneself always in a positive mental state, so when he is doing something, even if it is something he hated, he still can do it with lots of enthusiasm and motivation.

Shamou, please correct me if i have interpreted wrongly.

But i would say the reason we cannot accept that we can have passion for anything at will is because passion comes with love. Love is something that we do not want to give to everything and anything. It is something special, if we hated something, we prefer to continue hating it!! If we love something, it must be special to us.

That's why Shamou, even your "one night stand" example does not associate with love.

Therefore Shamou, I think the appropriate word to use here is enthusiasm and not passion.

But the very fact that you are able to get enthusiastic and motivated to do everything you want, including things you hated doing (jogging), you have a much higher level of self mastery than most of us and this alone earns my respect!!

Cheers!

Albert Lee
P.S. hm.. this thread discussion is very meaningful and thought provoking, I will post about it in my self development blog!

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by albertlee25
What Shamou is trying to say is a higher level of self mastery. It is similar to self hypnotism, or self motivation through visual, audio and actions to keep oneself always in a positive mental state, so when he is doing something, even if it is something he hated, he still can do it with lots of enthusiasm and motivation.

Shamou, please correct me if i have interpreted wrongly.

But i would say the reason we cannot accept that we can have passion for anything at will is because passion comes with love.

Therefore Shamou, I think the appropriate word to use here is enthusiasm and not passion.

Hello Albert…

“Emotion is the force of life.” – Anthony Robbins

First Albert let me say that you are almost correct in your interpretation of what I am trying to say… except for a few small details that may only have to do with semantic…

First, I do not believe that love is necessary for passion… I can hate with a passion… so can thousand of Talibans hating Americans… they will readily sacrifice their own life to destroy what they see as the sworn enemy… that’s passion… not enthusiasm…

I have seen people being jealous with a passion… and people being greedy with a passion… just as I have seen people being devoted to others with a passion and even pushing that passion to giving up their lives to save others… so, in my view, love is just one of the emotions that can be associated with passion…

Second, I prefer “passion” over the word “enthusiasm” because I see passion as being a lot stronger than enthusiasm..

If a world class athlete wants to bring in the gold… he needs more than enthusiasm… he needs a consuming passion… people like Robbins, Trump, Ted Turner et all… have more than enthusiasm… they are passionate… if you want to turn the world around or become all that you could be… you need more than enthusiasm… you need passion…

If you want a nice and free seminar on passion… just click on the “Anthony” hyperlink in my signature… it will take you to a twenty minutes “TED Talk” by Robbins… it could change your life…

BTW… thank you for that post Albert… great post…

.

The following was posted be Patricia (the moderator) in the thread, "What motivates you" and I thought that the text also has its place here... so here goes...

Originally Posted by Patricia
Passion. I've thought about this a lot and I've found that that's what really drives me, no matter whether times are good or bad. Passion for life, passion for a dream, passion for people passion for contribution...

I've found that the common denominator in all situations I ever faced, whether good or bad, is passion. And because I'm passionate about a lot of different things, including life itself, it's an endless source of motivation, drive.

.

[Uplift]

Thought, belief creates passion. Take say, surfing. Some people love it, some hate it, some couldn't care less. Same thing, different thoughts. Thought, or lack of it is the key to dousing or inflaming passion. Controlling desire, or allowing it to control you is the issue. For me it always comes down to the wisest things I've ever heard. 'Change your mind, change your life'. 'Watch your thoughts.' For me, the rest is clouding the issue. Which, like anything we experience, is great if you are enjoying it.

[albertlee25]

The ability to take control of one's emotion on any situation is definitely one of the most important aspect of self development!

I am much better at it than who i am 5 years ago, but I am still learning everyday!

Isn't it great to keep improving everyday!


Albert Lee

[SeriousKidding.com]

Having passion is about as empowering as it gets. You can't manufacture it. But, you can search for what it is that lights your fire, whether it be creative, or finding the right business, or especially, finding the right person, and it's almost automatic. You just can't help but sparkle. Often, all three combine and/or cause the other areas of your life to prosper like you never thought possible.

[Ilya]

Originally Posted by Jill

However, I'm not sure that most people would know how to do that, and would actually be faking it if they tried.

Yes, Jill they would fake it. At first. Then they will get better at it.

But I don't think faking is the useful way to speak about it. The word fake, has a negative meaning of deceit. If we say a person is faking it, we think that his intention is different from whatever he is declaring.

Suppose a person wants to become consciously passionate and fails because he is not skilled enough. Is he faking? I don't think so.
He would be faking if he fails but claims that he is succeeding.
He would be faking if he strongly believes that it is not possible to be passionate by will, but claims that he is able to do it in public.

But if a person says: "I believe it is possible, and I want to give it a try, expecting lousy results at first", - I think, this is as genuine as it gets.

[Ilya]

Originally Posted by albertlee25

But i would say the reason we cannot accept that we can have passion for anything at will is because passion comes with love. Love is something that we do not want to give to everything and anything. It is something special, if we hated something, we prefer to continue hating it!! If we love something, it must be special to us.

Originally Posted by Shamou

First, I do not believe that love is necessary for passion… I can hate with a passion… so can thousand of Talibans hating Americans… they will readily sacrifice their own life to destroy what they see as the sworn enemy… that’s passion… not enthusiasm…

I belong to the same school of thought as Shamou on this one. However I have a slightly different take on passion-love relationship.

I think this is a good point in a debate to look up the word in question.

I'll use the quote from dictionary.com - wikipedia has a rather simplistic definition.

1. any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
2. strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
3. strong sexual desire; lust.
4. an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
5. a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
6. a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.
7. the object of such a fondness or desire: Accuracy became a passion with him.
8. an outburst of strong emotion or feeling: He suddenly broke into a passion of bitter words.
9. violent anger.
10. the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, esp. something alien to one's nature or one's customary behavior (contrasted with action).
11. (often initial capital letter) Theology.
a. the sufferings of Christ on the cross or His sufferings subsequent to the Last Supper.
b. the narrative of Christ's sufferings as recorded in the Gospels.
12. Archaic. the sufferings of a martyr.

Which definition we are talking about here? I think it is partially the definition number 1 and partially the definition number 6.

I quoted the other irrelevant definitions on purpose. I want to illustrate that whatever definition we take, they all share one thing in common - great intensity. And if we take the definition number one, we can see that love or hate are just the examples of passion. In other words, passion is the measure of intensity of love, hate or other emotion.
Understanding that, can be useful to those who think that passion equals love. I can understand the people who do not like to do love autopsy. But love and passion are different things. You don't have to dissect love in order to control passion.

Of course, love and hate are two most common examples of emotions that easily reach the intensity of passion. These are two emotions that allow all humans to experience the emotional intensity that associates with word passion. Lust is another example, although it is not as socially accepted.

One may argue, that unless love has reached the intensity of passion, it is not a true love at all. But it does not mean, that love is a prerequisite of passion.

Why would we like to be able to become passionate at will, to spark passion?
Being passionate has very powerful benefits. We gain courage, we gain more energy, we tap into our deep resources, we can overcome our internal barriers, we feel good and happy, we feel alive. We need less food, and less sleep, we enjoy increased concentration, memory, creativity, attention span. Our productivity soars (in the area that we are passionate about) If applied to physical tasks, we can notice the increased endurance, strength, agility, pain barrier. Not all of these effects happen simultaneously. They are just the most common.

There is no magic in it. Technically speaking, we are entering the altered state of mind that allows us to perform these feats.

But it is important to understand that these effects stem from the unusual intensity of an emotion. Any emotion. Imagine passionate passionate depression. Sounds like oxymoron, but it is possible. This is the most dangerous period in clinical depression - that's where the suicidal patients have enough intensity to actually take their own life. Obviously, I do not suggest that anyone practices intensifying negative emotions. But the range is much wider then love and hate.

Try passionate interest or curiosity. Try passionate persistence. Try passionate joy. Try passionate calmness or concentration. Hope, you get the idea.

To reap the rewards of passion, we need to spark it in a way that the state will become self-sustaining. One of the wonderful properties of passion state is that the more you tap into it, the more energy we get. So being passionate we can go on for weeks and months, while the same level of effort in a "normal state" will drain a person in a few hours.

Now, is there a way to increase the intensity of the emotions, so that they reach the level of passion? I believe there is and I have some experience doing it. It can be done in a form of meditation. This requires practice to achieve stable results, but it is possible.

[albertlee25]

Wow Ilya, you sure write a lot!

I understand fully what you are trying to explain.

But all my encounters of passions are associated with strong positive feelings for something. (The something can be negative, but it is positive feeling for that negative thing)

Using your example, a person with passionate depression, which i interpret as a person who love to get into the emotional state of depression. Depression is negative, but the person love it. That's why he is passionate about it. I never come across people describe their hate or dislike for something as passion, until now! Even the definition lust means the person loves sex!

When someone said he is passionate about jogging, what comes to your mind? Honestly, the only thing that comes to my mind is he loves jogging! If you said he hates jogging, it just doesn't sound right! (I did not say it is wrong, just does not sound right)

Just my personal view on passion.


Albert Lee

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Ilya
Now, is there a way to increase the intensity of the emotions, so that they reach the level of passion? I believe there is and I have some experience doing it. It can be done in a form of meditation. This requires practice to achieve stable results, but it is possible.

I use “imagination” to sparkle the passion… Victor Hugo said that, “Imagination is intelligence with an erection”

After “passion”… “imagination” is probably one of the most powerful tool that we have in our disposition to turn the impossible into the possible, the dream into reality and the invisible into the visible…

As an example of how to use imagination to sparkle the passion… I could use the way I do it while at work… I’m a Chiropractor… been doing it for decades… most cases are similar and it could get to be extremely boring after awhile…

However, while I work with a patient I don’t see myself as someone helping someone with a bad back or whatever… I see myself as a “Grand Master” who has the power of leaving an indelible positive impression on that person… what I say, the way I say it… the way I present myself… the way I interact with that person has the power to touch that person deeply… and change him forever…

With that in mind… there is never a dull moment in my office… I feel like a semi-god in action… it’s the most passionate feeling in the world…

"Imagination set into action can turn the dull and boring into the passionate and exciting…" try it… you’ll love it…

.

[agnostic]

“Imagination is intelligence with an erection”

Quote of the day. LOL
Thanks for that one, Shamou.

[Ilya]

Originally Posted by albertlee25

Wow Ilya, you sure write a lot!

But all my encounters of passions are associated with strong positive feelings for something. (The something can be negative, but it is positive feeling for that negative thing)

I see. But usually, passion is useless in a sense that it can not be controlled. This is what this thread is about. To control passion we need to go beyond usual, to see the structure of the process. And once we do that, there is no reason why we can't think of unusual sources and applications of passion.

When someone said he is passionate about jogging, what comes to your mind? Honestly, the only thing that comes to my mind is he loves jogging! If you said he hates jogging, it just doesn't sound right! (I did not say it is wrong, just does not sound right)

That is a language thing. Yes, we use different words. If someone hates jogging we would say that he's got "strong feelings".
I do not think that this difference in words correctly describes the difference (or lack of difference) of mental processes that go behind the scenes.

I think in Steve's terms it will be similar to lightworkers or darkworkers. You get the results but in two different ways.

You can reach the same level of emotional intensity either with love or with hate. There is a word for it if it is achieved by love, but no word comes to my mind straight away for the other situation. But high emotional intesity is there for us to use, whether we have a word for it or not. Why not use passion for convenience?

By the way. Love and hate are the pair of primary states. They are perceived as opposites with a broad spectrum of states between them. But these states have a peculiar property. If we push one to the extreme, it suddenly and quickly switches to it's opposite. This is a proverbial thin line between love and hate.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Ilya

I see. But usually, passion is useless in a sense that it can not be controlled.

I see that you are not a Tony Robbins aficionado... I suggest that you click on the "Anthony" hyperlink in my signature... and it might change your mind...

.