I need advice - depressing job situation

[Bib]

First of all, i'd like to say that i quite like the conscious nature of the people around this site and forum. I read Steve and come here whenever i'm looking for wisdom, it mostly worked out so far.

I have really, really grown to hate my current job. I've been doing this since almost a year now, and looking at the sheer extent of my dislike towards it i cannot even understand it's been that long. We're talking about 7:30 to 16:00 here, with a 30 minutes break at exactly 12:30.

Explaining the exact why would be too much for now, i just need you to understand my main goal at this point. Which is:

• Get out of my current job and install a new, decent routine of gathering money.

I had this idea very soon after i started working in this job. The feeling that i wasn't going to do it for very long started to grow stronger and stronger, so i kind of buckled up and did some research on passive income, blogging, general ways to make money in a realm that suits me best. Between many ideas and schemes that are far from being realized, there's maybe one or two things that i seriously started working on, that was a few months back. Nothing is finished yet, and i made a point in telling myself that i would absolutely not quit my job before i can effectively generate the same amount of money (or more) from those new ventures than i currently get paid to give away almost 40 hours of my week to someone else (it's a whacking 484,77 € a month, in case you're wondering). I do still live with my parents, so it's not like i would starve and struggle to pay rent if my income wasn't sufficient enough; it just seems logical that i wouldn't want me to make any quick decisions before things are really proven to work out.

As it turns out, i find myself virtually unable to further work on my projects while i'm still employed. After workdays, i come home totally deserted and numbed. Trying to get my mind to this high level where i'd start to think about something as crucial as this subject would usually result in epic failure on such days, instead i usually resort to escapist means like extensive media consumption. On weekends or holidays, i sometimes get to that point where i'm really peaceful and certain about what i'm going to do about it and how i'm going to do it, but there's always that point in time where i have to go back to work, stopping me from successfully proceeding. 2 days, or even 2 weeks can go by like 2 seconds and i won't even notice.

After trying all kinds of different stuff i could come up with, for example i tried to do my project stuff at work (the reason why this did not work is the exact reason i want to get rid of the job - it prevents me from effectively doing the things that really matter most), i conclude that as long as i will work in this job i will not be able to come up with a finished scheme on how to successfully replace it. I've been walking around in this circle for far too long now.

Here's some questions that keep on floating around in my head, i hope you can help me to answer those based on the (confused) information i've provided so far:

• Why would i, out of all the people around me in my workplace, be entitled to find a straight up better way of making money? (Most of those people very clearly do not like what they do for a living.)
• How can i be sure about the possible decision to quit my job without really knowing if i'll be able to make decent money on my own?

I'm very unsure about posting this now, i think it might appear as too confusing to really be understood by an outside person. It's serious business though, i have been feeling very desperate and depressed; i'd generally rather be a happy, young person (who wouldn't, right?). Just keep in mind that English is not my native language (although my favourite one ) and that i might lack life experience in general. I'm 19.

[John Wesley]

If you're unsure about how you'll make money without a job, why don't you try to develop some alternative income streams in your spare time? Build an online business is a good way to make some money.

I'm in a similar position to you. I don't like my 9-5, but I need money to pay the bills. Right now I'm compromising by build a blog on the side. It's been growing quickly, but profitable websites take time to develop. At the very least I'm learning a lot about how to generate income.

My only advice to you would be to start doing something and see where it leads. You'll never find answers by waiting or making excuses for yourself. Try making money some how, if it works, try to build on it, if it doesn't, learn from that and try something else.

[Tuumble]

All three of us has some similarities in our position as I'm looking for a way out too. My situation is compounded by being in a well paid role with good benefits and it's a challenge to find an alternative without a long commute.

I have had a business idea but it's not making me much at the moment but has given me a focus and that's my Mind Meadow site.

I'm also working on a blog idea but I've not found a way of monetising yet but I'm working on it. To be honest I'm actually get more of a buzz from the ever increasing traffic I'm getting so it's only a matter of time. Apart from anything else it's improving a number of technical and journalism skills.

Bib, what I'd suggest to you is to give yourself some quality thinking time away from your daily distractions. You may not get the results you want first time but you begin to think differently and your killer idea may suddenly present itself when you least expect it.

Encourage new thinking and your mind will deliver.

I've written an article - Wiping Ice Cream Off the Window - about how thinking time which was initially forced upon me made a difference in my life.

It's also published on this site here.

[Swede]

I once had a job that was really dreadful in my eyes. When I got home from work, the first thing I did was to got to sleep for 30 minutes. I found that this was the ideal time for me to catch up on the exhaustion from that day's work. If I slept more it would disturb my night's sleep.

If you are unsure about your sleep phases, start by setting an alarm clock for 15 minutes and just let go! Unplug the phone, turn off your cell phone. This should be time devoted to relaxation and nothing else. By doing this, you might actually get that extra energy you need to moving on.

I suggest that you start up tomorrow evening, after a quarter of deep relaxation, by writing a list with everything you can come up with that could improve your situation. Just let it flow through your mind and write it down. Next evening, go through that list and choose the most important things and start working on one of them.

One more thing, ask every 'serious' person you know how they got their jobs. Also ask what they worked with earlier. See if you can "open any doors". Even a short term job might prove useful in the future.

Best of luck!


PS. John's article Continuously Increase Productivity by Embracing the Optimization Mentality is a great read that you might find inspiring. DS.

[chris614]

Bib,

I'm not 100% percent sure if you are saying that you just want to find a new job or that you are struggling with how to build something entrepreneurial on the side while working at your job, but here is something that I hope will help:

I've struggled with your dilemma for most of my life because I have always wanted to succeed as an entrepreneur.

How do you make the time to build a company when you have to spend most of your waking hours working at a job that you don't care about just so you can make money to pay your living expenses? This issue has been one of the more difficult that I have faced.

Here are a few things I learned:

1) You can find a job that pays you more money with a less demanding work schedule. In the past, I stayed for a long time in jobs that made it nearly impossible for me to get anything done on my "side businesses" because I didn't believe that I could find a better job situation that would allow me more time to build something on the side. You need to let go of this faulty belief, understand that there are plenty of jobs out there for people who are smart and hard working, and then go look for a better situation. In more recent years, I have had several jobs that have allowed me ample time to build my businesses.

2) You can also work on your business/idea/project before and after work and small blocks of time can add up to substantial value. I can't substantiate this with hard facts, but I read somewhere that John Grisham was a lawyer before becoming a writer and in spite of his demanding schedule as a lawyer, he got up every day at 4am and wrote for 3 hours before going to work. 3 hours a day adds up over time. (NOTE: That worked for John Grisham. You figure out what works for you - you are not John Grisham.)

3) No shortcuts - if you want success, your best shot is to pick something that you love doing and then be prepared to spend YEARS getting damn good at it. Only when we are damn good at something will we have people coming to us to pay us for our products, services and time. Why YEARS? Because it takes time to get damn good at anything. Look at anyone who is a real success and you will see that it took them between 5 and 15 years to get where they are. Face this fact and it will SAVE YOU YEARS of wasted time thinking that getting rich quick is something that will happen for you.

4) Never, ever be unemployed and support yourself with credit cards. Just don't do this - it is not smart. I know from experience. (UPDATE: I apologize, what I meant to say was: "Never, ever CHOOSE to be unemployed and then support yourself with credit cards." It's OK to be unemployed, it's OK to choose to be unemployed, but don't ever use credit cards to pay for your monthly living expenses. Sorry if I wasn't clear in the original post.)


I don't want to go on and on for too long, but drop me an email or something and we can chat more if you want.

Chris614
The Philosophy of Change.com

[beautyscientist]

I can really relate to this problem - look at my half finished website and you'll spot that I am not spending enough time on it because I have a job that absorbs too much of my energy.

If my good wishes are any help to you, then please accept them.

[Love]

Chris had some good suggestions. If you need a sid job, find a side job that you can live with. A lot of times when you search around, you find that you can be paid twice as much to do something with your skill set. Then you wouldn't need to work as much, and you could devote more time to studying what it is you Really want to do.

[Jayne]

How about a different approach? Change your thinking about your current job. I'll give you an example. I love my job - so much that if they doubled my salary or I won the lottery, I would still come to work every day. I have multiple income streams and yet choose to work a "normal" job because it is so rewarding. It hasn't always been that way.

About a year ago I was miserable. I was unappreciated, overworked, and over criticized. My boss was a complete micromanager who made my life miserable every day. I hated my job. Something had to change - then it dawned on me that the LOA could work in this scenario too. I wrote down how I wanted to feel at work. I visualized people stopping me in the hall telling me how great I am. I imagined how happy I was with my job - and I quit focusing on the negatives. I decided to give my desired reality more attention.
The first thing that happened is that I realized I am ultimately in control of my happiness - and I didn't need to be a victim of my boss or anyone else. My boss didn't change his ways - but my attitude toward him made it easier for me. Then I had an opportunity to temporarily work for someone else and I jumped on it. That gave me the freedom from my boss I needed to change my attitude even further.

Within a month, a new role opened up and I changed jobs within the company. I had my struggles - and kept focusing on what I had written and how I wanted to feel about my work. Ultimately, I found my perfect place, with the best people around me I could imagine.

Did my thoughts make all that happen? Probably not - I had to talk to some people and work really hard to prove myself. Did my thoughts open my mind to possibilities and change my attitude so I could contribute better and be recognized for my contributions? Absolutely.

So if you're stuck there and it's wearing you out - maybe a temporary solution is to figure out how to not let it wear you out.

Just a thought....wishing you the best with this!

Jayne

[Bib]

I'm grateful for your answers so far, thanks. I'm still waiting for the right mindset to really go through and digest that.