Public Speaking Fear

[dulaney0330]

I hate public speaking and I try to avoid it at all costs. I tend to do OK at giving presentations but I am so nervous when I give speeches. I have feared public speaking since I was in grade school and all my early memories of it has made me avoid it even more.

Because my field (psychology) does not have a lot of speeches/presentations (as compared to business), I cannot overcome this fear by systematic desensitization. I try deep breathing before a speech but that does little good because I still believe I will mess up during a speech.

Has anyone struggled with this fear and overcame it? How?

Any suggestions?

[Love]

Hi, Dulaney.

I know Steve and Erin Pavlina are members of Toastmasters, and have said that organization helped them with their public speaking.

When I myself need to speak, I make sure that I've practiced the speech plenty before--at least a few times with someone watching, like a family member. You should know what you want to say without having to look at your notes.
Then, when you get in front of your real crowd, pause, and then smile at the audience! Then begin. Your smile can help you remember what to focus on--The audience. By that point you know your content, you know your delivery. Smile and talk to the audience.

[dulaney0330]

Love,

Thanks for the advice...I'll make sure I incoporate that when I do speeches.

[Shamou]

dulaney0330... I have given tons of speaches and the best advice that I was ever given when I first started out was this...

An old timer in the business told me this... just before you start to speak... just imagine that everyone in the audience has a hole in his socks... right away, the audience will no longer intimidate you... and, he was right...

Also, if you ever get the chance to do some TV work as the host... don't miss it... after you done a few presentations you'll never fear a live audience again...

And, above all... don't be afraid to make some mistakes in front of an audience... it makes you appear more human and they will just love you for it...

Soon, when you're in front of the crowd... you'll feel like a maestro... just playing that crowd... that is when the adrenalin rush kicks in and the fun begins...

The very best of luck to you... and as the French say, "Merde" which is the equivalent of, "Break a leg."

.

[Michelle]

I had to be dragged from the toilet and onto stage 3 years ago to perform my bachelor recital.

Since then I have overcome my devastating fear, but it has taken a lot of soul searching. I don't think there are any quick fixes to severe stage fright. I have tried everything from deep breathing, beta blockers, and reading a ton of books on the subject.

What worked: I have been working with an excellent psychologist for 4 years and done a lot of personal work on the side. Basically I had to decide that no one is in a position to judge me on stage - not even me - and my only job is to set the music free into the world. It simply isn't my place to control what happens with it once it is out there. I also had to learn that I am deserving and worthy of success and the good things in life. On a material level I found supplementing the B Vitamin complex was helpful as were the Paraliminals. Going out into nature (I like the forest) is a good way to keep nervous energy balanced and to inspire breakthrough.

Why not take some private voice lessons? Then you are alone with the teacher for the majority of your work with occasional ventures on to stage from which you can learn a lot. I have several students whose main objectives are to improve their speaking voice and stage presence, but who enjoy the beauty of singing as a path to those goals.

[Cassie]

Hi Dulaney -

I used to be petrified of public speaking. It was so bad that when I had to give oral presentations in front of others, I would literally get sick to my stomach.

I am now cured of my fear forever. How? I just received a job this past year administering exams to college students. It requires getting up in front of a full classroom and administering instructions - something I'm required to do four times a week now.

I'm quite comfortable with public speaking now. The way I conquered my fear was by actually doing it repeatedly, and now it's a snap!

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by Cassie

Hi Dulaney -

I used to be petrified of public speaking. It was so bad that when I had to give oral presentations in front of others, I would literally get sick to my stomach.

I am now cured of my fear forever. How? I just received a job this past year administering exams to college students. It requires getting up in front of a full classroom and administering instructions - something I'm required to do four times a week now.

I'm quite comfortable with public speaking now. The way I conquered my fear was by actually doing it repeatedly, and now it's a snap!

Yes, I think that densenitization WOULD cure me of my cure but until I have a job in which I am constantly infront of people, I do not think I can overcome it!

[Namaste]

Originally Posted by dulaney0330

Yes, I think that densenitization WOULD cure me of my cure but until I have a job in which I am constantly infront of people, I do not think I can overcome it!

You can. Love has already mentioned Toastmasters, you do just that there - get up and speak in front of others. And you get feedback on how you went.

[munish]

The Fear of Public Speaking: 20 Ways to Get Over It.

Information for Members - Toastmasters.org

[Steve Pavlina]

You can definitely use systematic desensitization -- that's probably the best strategy for overcoming fear of public speaking. This is exactly how Toastmasters works. I highly recommend you find a club in your area (there's a club locator at Welcome to Toastmasters International where we are"Making Effective Communication a Worldwide Reality") and attend a meeting as a guest.

You won't be required to speak as a guest, but after you join, your first speech is a 4-6 minute icebreaker. From there you work through a manual of 10 speeches, mostly 5-7 minutes each. Each speech project focuses on developed specific skills like speech organization, gesturing, vocal variety, etc. A big part of overcoming fear is learning to be a competent speaker. You'll learn how to write and deliver better presentations.

I've been in Toastmasters for 3 years now and still get a lot out of it. Some people join several clubs, so they can speak more often and go to more meetings.

[Swede]

No one knows exactly what you are going to say. If you forget something of minor importance or change your speach while speaking no one will know. The only thing your audience will know and demand is that you speak with great cunning on your assigned topic.

I hope this helps.

[neil007]

I agree about Toastmasters, I have seen many scared people (including me!) transform their attitude to public speaking. Toastmasters offers a considerate environment with good people around you as you build your confidence.

Visualisation and other techniques can also help to build confidence.

[rene_stpierre]

I was in a ToastMasters club last year. It was a great experience. Although I did not go there to conquer my fear of public speaking (I took care of that in 1996), I saw plenty of people greatly improve their presentation skills and get rid of their fears.

I have conquered my fear of public speaking by improving one thing ... my self-confidence. Knowing my material, knowing I can do it, knowing I know more about what I am presenting than most people in the audience.

René

[Erin Pavlina]

I'll add a little to what Steve said. I was terrified of public speaking. Avoided it all costs, including being willing to take a failing grade rather than speak in class. But a year ago I finally joined Toastmasters and now I can honestly say I enjoy speaking. I still feel nervous before a speech but I'm not at all terrified. Practice makes perfect.

At the toastmaster meetings you don't even have to give your first speech until you're ready. Before then you will do these little odd jobs for the club like be the timer or the "ah" counter. You give like a 5-10 second report at the end of the meeting. No biggie, and it helps you become comfortable in the group.

And one thing about Toastmasters you must know. They are 110% supportive. No one will ever laugh at you or say anything to lower your self esteem. I'm sooo glad I joined. I never thought in a million years I could enjoy or look forward to giving a speech but here I am.

[Jes]

I've performed in public hundreds of times, in front of anywhere from 1 to several thousand people, since before my earliest memories. In the past 10 years, the longest I've gone without giving some sort of public performance is MAYBE a month. The best advice that I can offer you is to not expect the nervousness to go away. It doesn't. I know a lot of entertainers, but I don't know any who don't get butterflies before being stared at by everyone in the room.

If you go in prepared (rehearse, rehearse, REHEARSE!), it will be easier. If you ignore the audience, it will be easier. Don't acknowledge your mistakes (unless you've made a mistake that MUST be corrected), speak at a comfortably fast pace (study comedians---they're the best at this!), and remember that even though everyone is looking at you, a whole lot of them don't have the attention span to actually LISTEN to every word you say (watch the audience at the State of the Union). Above all, the most important thing to do is enjoy yourself

[dulaney0330]

wow! thanks for all the encouraging posts and advice. I will definitely look into toastmasters!