A drunk Conversation made me realise...

[Akashic_Librarian]

Z what I didn't expect was people in THIS Community still judging me based on my age...not on my actions.

[ZHereford]

Quite honestly you are very sensible and responsible for someone your age (sorry) or any age for that matter.

I know few people (myself included) who haven't dabbled and experimented with alcohol in some capacity. It is part of growing up. With all the temptations and excesses in this world I think you're doing very well.

Ultimately anything in excess is bad for you, but I know that you know that!

[John Wesley]

Alcohol is an interesting substance and it definitely has some benefits for all the problems it causes. In my experience it makes me much more friendly and open as well. Usually I'm very reserved.

You should be careful though. Not always will it have such a positive effect. Once you go over a certain line it can have the opposite effect and make you extremely mean and unpleasant.

[Minishark]

Originally Posted by Scin

gets you chicks because they dig responsible guys....

If you're suggesting that young girls go after guys who are responsible, then you are an idiot.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Akashic_Librarian

Z what I didn't expect was people in THIS Community still judging me based on my age...not on my actions.

I was judging you based on your actions . I just don't think getting drunk at 16 is a very smart thing to do, even if it is expected. I didn't expect it of you. But to clarify, I am not a big fan of getting drunk at any age. I don't think you are going to hell in a handbasket or anything...

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Minishark

If you're suggesting that young girls go after guys who are responsible, then you are an idiot.

Minishark... name calling in this forum is a "no, no."

.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Shamou

Minishark... name calling in this forum is a "no, no."

.

Yes, Shamou I was thinking that was rather harsh.

And I think a lot of girls would like to go for responsible guys, but they get blinded by the charisma and adventure and of the 'bad' ones. Most that I've seen grow out of that.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Angela

Akashic, what do you suppose would be the benefits of opening up or being vulnerable? What would you gain?

Also, what does it cost you to keep your barriers up? What price do you pay for that?

That is kind of ironic that you opened up and made yourself vulnerable here, only to encounter judgement and a little condescension. I guess that's one of the benefits of being vulnerable -- that you get to figure out how to deal with things like judgement and condescension in a way that works well for you. I think you're courageous and bold and doing a great job of inspiring yourself and others, regardless of your age.

I was kind of hoping you'd answer my questions from before (above). I'm thinking about the same questions for myself, as well. It seems like trust is the big issue for me for 2007 -- being available, being surrender, trusting myself and others.

[munish]

Recreational drugs, includes alcohol and caffeine.

[Jugga J]

Sounds like you've finally related to your own age group . I hope you've learned something important. First time drinking is funny. Remember mine, can't have been that good, don't drink now. Haha.

[Akashic_Librarian]

Hi Angela, sorry I didn't see yoru question (or forgot to answer it lol)

What I hope to gain from being more vulnerable is a better insight into who I percieve myself as. Simple as that.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Akashic_Librarian

Hi Angela, sorry I didn't see yoru question (or forgot to answer it lol)

What I hope to gain from being more vulnerable is a better insight into who I percieve myself as. Simple as that.

How do you think being more vulnerable will give you a better insight into your self-perception?

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Akashic_Librarian

What I hope to gain from being more vulnerable is a better insight into who I percieve myself as. Simple as that.

Right on Akashic! That's exactly what it does.

Putting yourself out there opens up avenues you wouldn't have imagined. Of course, you have to take the good with the bad. Exposing yourself (whoops that's another thread) takes courage and is difficult at first, but in the long run it broadens your horizons tenfold.

[wolfgang]

I thought AL question was about how to be more open and most posting seems to want to address drinking instead. One can only see what's in someone else if one has it in them too.

How to be open is a great question. I don't know how I got there and there are few that know that openness of me. I think it just came about naturally of being in the company of others and developing trust between each other. Trust that being open will be a good thing and not be used against you or to their advantage somehow.

And I have found it goes both ways. In other words, the more non-judgemental I was being with someone, the easier it was for me to open up back at them. I by no means find it easy to be open with anybody I just meet. It takes some time.

But, there is also a level of accetance of yourself that if you carry that then that additude automatically allows you to be open. It doesn't matter what people think of you since you already accept yourself. You won't be trying to gain approval because you already approve of yourself. You aren't worried that others will slam you, because they won't when you come across as authentically yourself - well, that's usually true. Most people when greated by an authentic and self accepting person, will sense that and not give you trouble.

It's sort of like by being accepting of yourself, that automatically makes the dynamic of what other people may have caused grief in you, go away. If you do play the part of being unsure of yourself then that invites the worries that other people are not accepting you, which is not where to get acceptance anyway.

[Akashic_Librarian]

*nods at Z then points to Angela, and then back to Z, Nodding again*

[Angela]

Are you saying that by being vulnerable, you'll open yourself up to more experiences and points of view, which will broaden your horizons and therefore your view of yourself?

[Akashic_Librarian]

Yes, in so many words.

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Akashic_Librarian

*nods at Z then points to Angela, and then back to Z, Nodding again*

You're funny! Have you considered being a playwright along with your poetry?

[Angela]

Akashic, then what are the drawbacks of being vulnerable? What's getting in your way of being vulnerable?

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by Angela

Are you saying that by being vulnerable, you'll open yourself up to more experiences and points of view, which will broaden your horizons and therefore your view of yourself?

I would think the matter has more to do with shifting your self perception to be more accepting of yourself so you can be vulnerable.

Being vulnerable in a good way means you like who you are at what ever stage you are in and show it to people. Your view of yourself doesn't change by being open, I think, you become open in a good way by changing your view of yourself.

If you try to be open without knowing yourself or liking yourself, I think, your view of yourself will not get better. Others will take your openness and unsureness and either tease you or see you as needy or something. However, if your openess comes from a state of acceptance of yourself - then others will think it's cool that you are open. Does that make any sense?

[Akashic_Librarian]

No I havn't Z but thank you.


And as for Angela...emotion pain...in the beginning.

[Scin]

There is no advantage to vulnerability for vulnerability's sake. The appearance of vulnerability, or of openness, can be very useful however....especially when one is attempting to lure in an enemy.

Weakness (true vulnerability) should be shunned at all costs.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by Akashic_Librarian

And as for Angela...emotion pain...in the beginning.

That you have have emotional pain that keeps you from being open sounds like it could be pain of not accepting yourself as you are. If so, it keeps you from being open because you have some sort of shame or guilt or some other needless belief that is not accepting of yourself and what ever faults you may perceieve you have. I don't think just trying to be open is what changes that. Wouldn't it be the other way around? Find a way to like yourself as you are and it won't matter what you say to anyone, kind of. You won't be trying to cover up yourself, quiet the opposite.

[Akashic_Librarian]

I know lol...its a vicious cycle...