Help: Difficulty in finding Purpose

[culturepainter]

I read Steve's article about finding my purpose in life about a week ago. And since then I have tried. Now I've been journalling pretty regularly for about 7-8 years so I didn't feel that I was that clueless about myself. But this exercise has been quite tough for me.

One thing is that there are very few things that I shed tears for in real life. There are movies that may get me to have a lump in my throat and if its a real tear jerker I may let a tear well in my eye. But other than that, not really.

So considering that one of the criterias is to discover my purpose to the point of tears streaming down my cheek. That hasn't happened.

In some ways I'm wondering if I'm trying too hard. I first sat down and started randomly writing potential purposes of my life. Those ranged from bizarre to interesting. I felt like I could go on mindlessly typing out potential purposes without getting anywhere. Then I tried a more methodical approach of trying to write things that touched my heart. That went good for a while but turned dry and I felt like I was going in circles.

I need some guidance!!!

[Shamou]

culturepainter...

If you have some personal hero... you could find a clue there... heroes have personal purposes and that is why we admire them... So, find your hero... and you will find the answer to your question...

That is how I did it... and the result is the second sentence in my signature... from Tony Robbins...

The very best of luck to you...

.

[Akashic_Librarian]

I just looked deep inside myself and pulled out the thing I love the most. Helping people. Then i work up from that.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Akashic_Librarian

I just looked deep inside myself and pulled out the thing I love the most. Helping people. Then i work up from that.

The very best way that you can help people is to help yourself first... you cannot give what you don't have... if you are not satisfied and happy... you sure as heck cannot help people to achieve that state...

PS - This post is not addressed specifically at you Akashic_Librarian... because I think that you are pretty good at taking care of Number One...

.

[culturepainter]

So is tears a necessity. The way Steve wrote it, he seemed to indicate that tears were essential.

Did you guys cry?

Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong. Should I be asking myself, 'what is it that would make me cry?'
Is what would make me cry my purpose in life?

[culturepainter]

One more question, it feels like some of these discussions would go a lot smoother on chat then it would in a forum like setting. Does Steve Pavlina have any plans to setup chat rooms in his website?
Or do members out here chat using any of the popular messengers?

Culture Painter

[jwz]

I also have a little problem with this one.
I've found topics/things that touched me pretty deeply, but reviewing them later didn't get me near the same emotional state.

Maybe I need to grow a bit first. I still have a stack of papers on my mental office table to deal with regarding PD. Especially confidence, self esteem and finding which things I want to accomplish in life.

[Max Power]

Originally Posted by culturepainter

One more question, it feels like some of these discussions would go a lot smoother on chat then it would in a forum like setting. Does Steve Pavlina have any plans to setup chat rooms in his website?
Or do members out here chat using any of the popular messengers?

The problem with group chats is the sheer number (anymore than 2) it becomes unmanagable very fast, one on one works well, everything else and it's very hard to keep up, especailly with intense topics like PD.

As for purpose, I disagree that we must find one to live effectively. For me, my purpose is to understand why I consider I may need one at all and to maintain the container I've build for myself.

Unravelling he entire mystery is more important than a singular life purpose.

Max

[Mnemosyne]

Culturepainter,

I also tried Steve's technique but it didn't yeild any results for me.

At first this really troubled me - I thought that maybe I didn't have a purpose at all. And it seemed like a plausible assumption since I don't have a real 'passion' for any one thing. I'm more like a 'jack of all trades, master of none'. But I eventually put it out of my mind and focused on doing the best job that I could at work.

Recently I became aware that I get a lot of satisfaction from helping people, I thought that maybe 'helping people' might be my life purpose but it just didn't feel right. Close, but not exectly right. So I again put it out of my mind.

Today I was the last one to leave the office. I had to work late in order to meet a deadline. Actually, I was fixing other people's mistakes in order to meet the deadline. The mistakes were made by two new people who started earlier this week. Because they are so new their mistakes are understandable. But I got to thinking about one of the new people. She's an intern still in college. This is her first 'real' job so she's really eager and excited to be working with us. In fact, when she left to go home this afternoon, she stopped by my cube to say how she enjoyed doing the work and how happy she was to contribute to the project. She said this as I was fixing her mistakes. It didn't bother me though, her mistakes were honest ones, due only to her inexperience on this project. I didn't tell her that she had made the mistakes; instead, I praised her. As she walked out I decided that next Monday I would spend more time with her and really make sure she understands the task that needs to be done, so that she woudn't make these types of mistakes again in the future. I am essentially her mentor and when it comes down to it, it's my responsibility to teach her how to produce quality work.

Right then and there I realized that what I really want to do is make a positive impact. I want to enable other people to do great things. Maybe I need to refine it a little, but I think that 'making a positive impact' and 'enabling other people to do great things' might actually be my life purpose.

My advice to you, if you've managed to read through my story is to do what you feel is right. Don't necessarily 'dwell' on what your life purpose might be. It will probably sneak up on you when you least expect it.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by culturepainter

So is tears a necessity. The way Steve wrote it, he seemed to indicate that tears were essential.

Did you guys cry?

Tony Robbins, Donald Trump et all, all have a very definite purpose in life... and I dare say none of them ever had to cry to find it...

.

[Kaspian]

Originally Posted by culturepainter

So is tears a necessity. The way Steve wrote it, he seemed to indicate that tears were essential.

Did you guys cry?

I took myself through Steve's process for finding my purpose. If I remember correctly, I didn't cry; Somewhere along the way, I just knew. What I was writing resonated with me and made sense. In other words, it felt right.

[culturepainter]

Well was I mistaken in thinking that in Steve's article tears weren't just metaphorical but rather were literal? I saw comments where people suggested that the tears were not to be taken literally, and I saw Steve correct them and said that the tears were to be taken literally.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not necessarily hung up on 'tears.' I more want to be thorough with the exercise. If what it takes to do this exercise properly is tears, then I don't want to prematurely assume I've reached the goal when I haven't.

When I did the exercise I felt certain things I wrote that came closer to touching my heart than others. It's not like I'm just waiting around to discover the purpose of my life before living it. I live a pretty interesting and satisfying life. I am for the most part happy, but lacks a strong sense of direction. It's this direction that I wanted to get a better feel for.

[Kaspian]

I find that I have slight reservations about tears being a requirement. Perhaps for most people it is, but I have a hard time accepting absolutes.

Here's how I see it: If you're moved to tears, great! If you don't have tears, but you know what you've written resonates, makes sense, and feels right, operate on that purpose for now. Perhaps in time you'll realize that this is your purpose, and perhaps you'll find that it was a step along the way of finding a deeper purpose. If it gives you direction, in the end, does it really matter which?


A thought or two about the writing process:

When you're writing about the things that come closer to touching your heart, ask a question (in print) like...
Is there more than this?
Is it deeper than this?
Is there something that would excite me more?
Is there something that would be even more powerful?
Is it more simple than this?
Then pause a moment, allow a deep breath, and write what comes to mind. Continue until your answer is, "This is it!" If you're going to be moved to tears, you probably will be at this stage.

[Old Soul]

maybe your purpose will reveal itself to you
if you stop working it....

possible?

[learningtogrow]

I had trouble with this for awhile as well. I was looking for something like a goal that I could work towards if that makes sense. A lot of PD gurus, i.e. James Ray, had me in a frenzy that I needed to find my purpose so I could begin to take action.

Finally, I realized that my purpose is to be an observer of my reality. To be content with the moment. To place no judgement and to fully appreciate everything in my universe. To recognize my power. To face fears. Most of all to have fun with the game.

I enjoy many many things. I agree with Max Power that you don't need to have one purpose. See where it takes you. That's where I currently am and I'm much more at ease than when I was trying to force a purpose on myself.

[mlc82]

Originally Posted by learningtogrow

I had trouble with this for awhile as well. I was looking for something like a goal that I could work towards if that makes sense. A lot of PD gurus, i.e. James Ray, had me in a frenzy that I needed to find my purpose so I could begin to take action.

Finally, I realized that my purpose is to be an observer of my reality. To be content with the moment. To place no judgement and to fully appreciate everything in my universe. To recognize my power. To face fears. Most of all to have fun with the game.

I enjoy many many things. I agree with Max Power that you don't need to have one purpose. See where it takes you. That's where I currently am and I'm much more at ease than when I was trying to force a purpose on myself.

Wow. Meant in a good way. I like the idea of that, I've also attempting to find some sort of purpose like a chicken running around with it's head cut off, that was an angle I've never thought from before.

[Mark Lapierre]

I didn't find my purpose through Steve's exercise. No tears and no revelations.

I still don't know what my purpose is, and indeed I don't believe I have any one purpose, now nor at any time in my life. But I do know what I want to do, and I figured that out by observing what I thought about, how I felt, and what I pursued, in my day-to-day life.

I came to realise that my desire for understanding was strongest when directed towards developing an understanding of what people think and believe, and how, and why. And what that all means for our lives, and the lives of those around us. That's what I'm doing here, it's what my blog evolved into, and it's what I've done all my life without really paying attention to it.

I could phrase that as a purpose, but I don't think that's necessary.